May 21, 2013

4 Essentials for Cultivating More Fulfilling Relationships.

Relationship matters are a common conversational topic across the board.

It seems as though many are constantly assessing the dynamics of their partnerships—and fittingly so as there are few matters as influential to our mindful and spiritual health as whom we are with and around, daily.

Regardless of what surfaces in our pools of interconnection, intimate relationships can offer us unique opportunities for expansion. The elixir of unconditional love, vulnerability, beyond-open openness and sexual abandon is a potent brew and can be unleashed in a way that increases personal awareness and growth.

The four essentials for cultivating deeper, more fulfilling relationships are:

 1. Uncover

Without self-perceived weaknesses or insecurities, many of us might not be pushed into our individually tailored areas of learning and growth during our travels. Hiding from the things we might be here to work on creates an injustice for ourselves and ultimately, trickles out to affect those around us. Instead, being mindful about components of ourselves that may be asking for fine tuning or strengthening, and seeing them as pieces for illumination, allows us to further our journey, both individually and together.

Depth-supporting relationships hold the understanding that all is welcome into the connective, collective space. The fears, the worries, all of the emotional-range beauts that we each have the opportunity to dabble in during this human experience are both accepted and appreciated. This enables us to work on integrating them into who we are beyond this experience, viewing them as ‘ringleaders’ of transformation.

 2. Share

It is difficult for me to imagine being in an intimate relationship in which I don’t feel comfortable expressing certain things; yet, I’ve learned during conversations with others, both work-related and personal, that this is incredibly common.

As a society, we are very focused on the physical obstacles we perceive to be ‘in the way’ of reaching what we wish for in this life. Every bit as relevant and distracting as these more tangible on-goings, however, are the intangible. This is the energetic interference that accumulates as a result of keeping to ourselves things that we want or need to further the evolution of our own souls. Keeping the space between our partners, as well as keeping our own presence clear and unobstructed in order to be radically honest and open, is essential.

This past week I was talking with a man who said he feels fearful to share certain things with his wife because, despite these things being important to him, he’s already aware of how she feels and when her thoughts aren’t aligned with his. He simply doesn’t want to ‘stir the pot.’ All of these ‘important-to-him things’ gather and collect in the space between them, obscuring both from truly seeing each other.

Open up.

Bring yourself to the table each and every day and share. It is in this open, fearless space that we get to shed the layers of who we believe we should be, and connect with who we are.

3. Commit to growth

Wherever we are at in this ‘program,’ there is always something more to learn or another level to reach.

Issues arise in every relationship. While some people, it seems, do come together with efforts to force a bond that simply isn’t in their collective best interests, those who are truly aligned can use their conflicts as a way to examine their individual strengths and weaknesses as they relate to their life’s goals. Committing to growth, both individually and as a team, and to viewing these interesting ‘toss-ins’ as stimuli for change and deepened connection (in lieu of hindrances to a healthy and whole relationship) dissolves all sorts of energetic impasses—and, in general, is super sexy.

4. Harness the power of sex.

 Well, yeah.

Sacred, spiritual sexuality was once considered medicinal. While many of us still hold on to this belief, there all sorts of twists and turns in the current cultural layout.

Our sexual energy is one of the most fundamental and creative energetic exchanges in the universe. There are so many exchanges occurring simultaneously. There’s a physical exchange: a blending and combining of body and fluids. There’s an energetic exchange: a blending and combining of all that we, individually, embody in and of our energetic and emotional range. Then, there is this beautiful spiritual exchange that goes beyond all that is here and now and human, a communion of two souls who have been long before this moment and will continue being long after.

Sacred sexuality moves us much further beyond any immediate thought, need or desire for recreational, or even pro-creational, sex. With trust, awareness and openness as its foundation, sacred sex is the practice of becoming and an enlightened opportunity to become one with our partner. It has powerful potential for emotional release, physical regeneration and shedding light on our path in support of connection with each other, the world around us and the divine.

Cheers to traveling further in our connections with both our self and with one another.




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  • Asst. Ed: Amy Cushing
  • Ed: Brianna Bemel
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