Advice to All the Single Ladies. ~ Marilyn J. Owen

Via Marilyn J. Owen
on Aug 20, 2013
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Date yourself.

In fact, take yourself up the coast for a romantic getaway.

Right now.

Do it!

Throw a bag in the backseat, crank up the iPod and roll the windows down so you can feel the wind in your hair and the sun on your skin. Sing as loud as you can.

When you find that little café that overlooks the sea, ask for a seat by the window and order the most expensive dish and the finest wine—you deserve the best.

Don’t take a book or check Facebook on your phone, give yourself your undivided attention. Savor the meal in silent rapture, let the flavors linger on your luscious lips and incite your taste buds to orgasmic pleasure. Then, look for that cozy bed and breakfast you read about in the Times five years ago and check yourself in.

Flirt with the one who shows you to your room as if you were in love with the world, then throw yourself passionately onto the big comfy bed with 700 thread count sheets and a down comforter. Sink into that linen embrace and hold yourself tight. Caress one silky shin with your other pedicured foot and cradle your precious face with both hands.

Fall asleep with the memory of every hug you ever received and a smile on your face.

In the morning, linger over breakfast, smiling at whoever meets your gaze. But make it clear you are happily “with someone”—your own lovely self.

For the rest of the weekend, ask graciously,

“What do I want to do now?”

Then do it. And after that,

“What do I want to do now?”

When your thoughts wander, follow them. When your body speaks, listen closely. At some point, you will feel the magic and know it is time to make a commitment.

Marry yourself.

Yes, now.

You don’t even need a license. Just a quiet place to make your silent vows to love, honor and protect yourself; to be faithful and true to yourself. Until death. But be clear, this is for real, and it’s for Life.

Breaking this vow will bring more heartache than you can imagine. And when you return home, feeling whole and holy for the first time ever, call your ex and authentically wish him joy in his new relationship. Then call all your loved ones over to celebrate your union. Then, call the one you have not dared to call before.


You are ready.



Date a Boy who Serves.


Using Alone Time to Be Our Best Selves.

Plus, 108 Quick Things to Appreciate about being Single.


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Assistant Ed: Gabriela Magana/Ed: Bryonie Wise


About Marilyn J. Owen

Marilyn J. Owen, LMFT, compulsively connects the dots between the inner and outer worlds via reflective meditation, poetry, writing, teaching, and her psychotherapy practice. Her paradigm is decidedly Jungian. Her journals are copious and illegible. Her bookshelves are full and lean precariously to the left. While exploring the world of dating over 50, she shares her home with family members, Waltons-style, and a bossy Aussie/Golden Retriever who serves as her fitness coach. For more information check out her website.


27 Responses to “Advice to All the Single Ladies. ~ Marilyn J. Owen”

  1. smt says:

    This made me cry. thanks.

  2. Carli Susu says:

    This is the most beautiful, poignant piece of writing I have read for a long time. THANK YOU! I once dated myself and married myself and was very, very happy, but alas, I did not heed the warning that you so wisely suggest at the end, and gave myself away, cheated on myself, lured by a beautiful young man, who used cheap flattery and knew my deepest secret fears and wriggled his way into my happy relationship and put doubt in my mind (Well I LET HIM!) He was not worthy of me, and now I am having to start out all over again, dating and loving ME. Blessed Be xXx

  3. Bill says:

    You may think this odd…but I feel it applies to guys as well. We need to do the same thing….for all the same reasons…

  4. Sitka says:

    This post is first rate! Thank you so much.

  5. Marilyn Owen says:

    Thank you for your comments, everyone. Carli, I hear you… I’ve had to do it over and over, too. Bill, I agree, we all need to learn to love and commit to ourselves. It’s such an awesome feeling to be in that place of self acceptance and worth.

  6. Katie says:

    Thank you so much! I loved this beatiful idea of dating yourself and committing to yourself! And in no way does that sound odd @bill !

  7. Katie says:

    Ps, beautiful!

  8. Karen Mozes says:

    Loved every line you wrote. The longest relationship we will ever have is with ourselves – we might as well make it the best of all. Thank you,

  9. Rhona says:

    Beautiful and good advice for any woman… Single or not!!

  10. Lisbet says:

    I love this! It's so beautiful. <3

  11. Sarah says:

    Thank you! My birthday anniversary is coming up soon…this time I am going to do something special for me.

  12. clawar1 says:

    I agree completely with you, Bill! I personally don't feel that one can be totally happy with other people unless one can be happy with oneself!

  13. Gavin says:

    Great advice for men and women. Thanks!

  14. Denise Layne says:

    I just took a trip like this just for myself and alone for a week, it was truly wonderful and revitalizing. I highly recommend it once a year at least if you can… if not… take mini stay-cations nearby, even for a day…. you deserve it!

  15. Andrew says:

    Great advice for guys as well.

  16. wanda says:

    Denise, I will agree with on this. Amen sister.

  17. Dawn says:

    What a beautiful piece. Thank you – I am really touched. (And considering where my next coastal getaway with myself will be.)

  18. happinessheals says:

    Lovely, years ago in 2002 I bought myself a gold wedding band and indeed married myself and promised to be as good to myself as I am to others. It was a wonderful experience. What great advice that you are sharing!

  19. Jovanna says:

    Lovely. Thank the heavens for the art of words and the beauty that lies within them.

  20. NooneNoHow says:

    Nice sentiment, love the first 3/4, but I find this 'marry yourself' stuff silly. And who is 'the one you have not dared call before' ? what if there is no-one and never will be, hm?

  21. @mcfrlndmrch says:

    Loving yourself is the first step to take a little get a way for yourself. Do not rely on anyone but yourself to make your life happy. I have learned to do this a long time ago and it does work. You cannot love another person properly if you cannot love yourself first.

  22. Punkin says:

    What about if you do love yourself and because that you love other people so much…and still it never work out…then I started to think that its something wrong with me because how is not possible that they don't feel it….I am confuse and frustrated that I never find the one..

  23. Anna says:

    I so very needed this. Am going through a painful separation, possibly a divorce and reading bits of hope like this makes me look forward to recovery and finding myself by myself and not by another man. Thanks for this.

  24. Susan says:

    Absolutely- first thing that came to my mind . It's a shame that the title reads that way. Great article for any human really but certainly single men and women (not ladies;)…

  25. Fatima Rahimi says:

    I just have to say that this was the most beautiful thing I read the whole month and based on the hard days I have been having lately, this is just exactly what I needed. thanks again and looking forward to read more and more amazing things from you

  26. Grant says:

    As a newly single dude, thank you. Sometimes it’s hard to not feel like I need a partner to be happy, but the other day I mentioned my recent breakup to a new co-worker and he responded with “Awesome dude! There’s so much life you get to live now!”. There are certainly awesome aspects of being in a relationship and being single, it’s just people sometimes forget about how much fun being single can be.

  27. Nicole says:

    Too´s not about gender. Everyone gets hurt and has to learn this lesson – and I´m too glad I found out that travelling alone and eating out alone can be a gift as well.. Since my last trip I call it "I´m visiting myself"