I live an unconventional life: I travel the world with my husband while running our business online.
I find it exhilarating, fulfilling and scary as all hell. Yet, I cannot imagine myself doing anything else; but it wasn’t always that way. I used to believe I couldn’t pull it off, I used to patronize my own abilities to grow our business and I worried endlessly that I would let my husband (and myself) down.
To say I harboured some seriously limiting beliefs is an understatement. And, I realized it was getting me nowhere. Now I know I’m not alone in this. I know there are countless others who foster limiting and damaging beliefs—beliefs that hold them back and stop them from becoming as extraordinary as they could be if they just trusted in themselves.
So, how did I overcome these beliefs and regain conscious control over my life? Read on.
The 411 on Limiting Beliefs
Many of us have these beliefs that are so ingrained in us, they seem logical, but how did they get there? After all, we weren’t born with them. We didn’t always believe them. Heck, we didn’t always think of ourselves this way.
How then did they come to be?
Essentially, we manifested them. You see, a belief is a thought that feels real to us because we have decided that it is true, whether we have evidence to prove it or not. So, in order to rid my life of these thoughts—that did nothing but hold me back—I learned how to recondition and challenge myself to believe a new set of beliefs.
Three Steps to Eliminating Limiting Beliefs:
The first step to overcoming my damaging beliefs and living the life I so badly wanted was to identify my most hindering beliefs.
For me it was:
• I’ve never owned a client-free business, I don’t know what I’m doing.
• I’m not a marketer.
• My writing isn’t good enough.
• Who would even be interested in what I have to say, let alone teach?
• Who would ever want to buy my products?
• I won’t make enough money to live the life we want.
However, for others these beliefs could be:
• I’m too old to start up a business.
• I’m not smart enough to get that promotion.
• I will never make enough money.
• No one will ever love me enough to marry me.
• I am destined to always be overweight.
• I’m not beautiful.
• I can’t run a marathon.
Whichever belief it is, identify it. Be ruthlessly honest and call yourself out on it. I did this by figuring out what it was I truly wanted deep down inside and what it was I was telling myself to make me believe I couldn’t have it. Once I had discovered my major underlying belief, I moved onto the next step.
This took a bit of practice and perseverance, but it was a necessary step in ridding my life of the beliefs that held me back.
To challenge my beliefs, I asked myself:
• Is this really true?
• What concrete evidence do I have to support this?
• Are there real life examples to support it?
• Is it possible that the opposite might actually be true?
Once I had truthfully answered these questions—without calling upon my deep-seated insecurities—I
started to doubt these beliefs. I chose to actively disagree with what I had always believed to be true about myself.
Remember, our minds have limitless potential and by choosing to believe something that makes you
feel bad, sad or mad inside means you are essentially wasting that opportunity.
Choose the Opposite
Finally, once I had challenged my pre-existing beliefs I started purposely believing the exact opposite. I went from, “I don’t know what I’m doing” to, “I do know what I’m doing and if I get stuck I’ll figure it out.”
From, “I’m not a marketer” to, “I am one badass marketer.”
From, “My writing isn’t good enough” to, “My writing improves with each post I write.”
From, “Who would be interested in what I have to say, let alone teach?” to, “Thousands of people want to
start up a freedom-based business and because of that there will always be someone who is interested
in what I have to say.”
I went through my list, one by one and trained myself to believe the opposite of my fears.
Was it easy? Hell no!
In fact I still struggle here and there, but these days I don’t let those limiting beliefs hold me back. Instead, I choose to use them as fuel, as a sign that I should do something, not shy away from it because I’m scared.
And it was this decision that helped me (and continues to help me) eliminate my limiting beliefs, continuously challenge myself to want more and live a life I love.
I just had to believe it to see it.
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Assistant Ed: Steph Richard/Ed: Bryonie Wise