Date a Woman Who Knows Everything (& Nothing). ~ Renée Picard

Via Renée Picard
on Oct 11, 2013
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So I’ve read a lot of these in the past year:

Date a girl who practices hot yoga. 

Date a girl who can sew. 

How to date a girl who writes (my personal favorite).

What we do (hobbies, work, roles) matters. It says something about our souls. But I also think that we can get too caught up in what we do when how we are matters more. So here is my version.

Date a woman who knows the beauty of being alone.

Date a woman who is hard-headed, who is not afraid to speak her mind, who can be stubborn and passionate and wants to have the occasional debate because she wants to learn how you think and how you see the world. She questions assumptions (including her own), explores ideas, breaks molds. She is naturally curious. She wants to be stretched.

She wants to change your mind and she wants her own mind changed.

Date a woman who knows fear, sorrow, loss. Who isn’t scared to get naked. She knows that her own beauty lies in knowing her true value (but now and then she forgets, and then you can step in to remind her).

Date a woman who knows her way around her own heart and is not afraid to break it. She knows what it wants and she stands up for it with conviction.

Date a woman who knows how to make real eye contact, because she values intimacy. She thrives on her capacity to build authentic relationships and surrounds herself with only this kind.

Date a woman who knows that she loves at least one thing fiercely: her children, her work, her art, her trade, her garden, her animals.

Date a woman who knows that taking/offering space to grow can sometimes be the best kind of love that one person can offer another, even when this means saying goodbye.

Date a woman who you are unsure of at first, not because she doesn’t seem like enough but because she scares you a little bit in her realness. Yet she continues to surprise and challenge you in this very way every time you see her.

Date a woman who knows how to laugh at herself, who might sometimes just crack the corniest jokes but they make you smile anyway.

Date a woman who sees as much possibility in sitting in silence as she does exploring every nook: world, body, mind, soul. She holds a quiet confidence. She walks with purpose.

Date a woman who knows that her heart is fragile. When it becomes too melty and heavy she might tuck herself away to feel better: let her. Then drop her a note or stop by for tea to lighten her up (she will need this but might not be able to ask for it).

Date a woman who will drop everything in a millisecond to help a friend in need.

Date a woman who knows that love is something that comes from inside, not something that she can ‘get’ from someone else, because she knows that she is love(d).

Date a woman who accepts herself today but (gently) pushes herself to be better the next. You will want to do the same by just being around her.

Date a woman who understands the problems with being ‘too busy.’

Date a woman who is sure about this one thing: that we can never really be sure about anything.

Because life is fluid. And each day she realizes how beautiful and scary this is, and so she humbles herself to it. She starts each every day looking to learn, experience, create, teach something new, because she knows that this is what makes life (worth living).

Date a woman who knows art and music. She may not create it herself but she needs it to move through her because it makes her (and the world) better.

Date a woman who understands the value of taking a risk, who is not afraid of making a mistake because she knows how to pick herself back up after she falls.

She’s ready to accept your offer to help her up the next time she does.

Date a woman, not a girl. But when the little girl in her comes out now and then (and she will), you will still love her as the woman that she is.

Be with—no, know—a woman who wants to understand herself a little better each day. She wants to understand you too. You may not have met her yet, but in a way she already does.

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Ed: Sara Crolick

Image: Wiki Commons 


About Renée Picard

Renée Picard is a freelance writer and editor. She prefers real conversation over small talk, red over pink, ocean over mountains. She leads life with a soft-but-fierce heart. For her, writing has always been an instinct, a craft, a heart-thing. For more, check out her personal blog or her Medium page. You can also follow her on FacebookTwitter and Instagram.  


71 Responses to “Date a Woman Who Knows Everything (& Nothing). ~ Renée Picard”

  1. eric says:

    It is refreshing to know that some out there assert the confidence to love without demand; to care without obsession; to feel without dependency. Nice thought!

  2. Ken R. says:

    Very nice article. I loved it and agree. My wife passed away very unexpectedly earlier this year and I think of her when reading every sentence. My quest to find another challenging woman to love and who loves me is hopefully on the horizon. Thanks for the inspiration!

  3. girlfromPH says:

    I LOVE this!!! This woman is me, you, my best friend, my neighbor, a random schoolmate, the one I saw at the supermarket this morning…the list goes on. This is so spot on. And this kind of woman deserves a man who will never leave her behind.

  4. Maria says:

    So amazing, so profound and thought provoking!

  5. Anthea says:

    I really admire you for acknowledging that the wondrous attributes mentioned apply to you, as I can say I see myself in quite a few too and am warmed by that.

  6. I think I've read this at least a dozen or so times. I absolutely love this! I take something new away from it every single time I read it. I am striving to be the girl you have described so eloquently here. Thank you for writing and sharing this! Much love to you!

  7. Liza says:

    You have described me in most ways. I still have a bit too much fear but I have learned much recently from being with the wrong man. Thank you for this. Especially this Valentine's day. You have affirmed who I am and shown me that it is MORE than just OK.

  8. Lee says:

    I would love to date that woman for I am that man…..but she eludes me in every way…where do I search, how do I find her?

    I’ve read this so many times and I ache thinking about the love I wish I could share….but she eludes me in every way…

    Love this article and style of writing so much!


  9. Lee says:

    I want to date that woman for I am that man…but she eludes me in every way….

    I’ve read this so many times, and each time it moves me more than the last…I hope we find each other one day soon…

    Love your article and writing style – very moving.


  10. Leslie says:

    It's official…Not only are you my new girl crush, but this article is everything I have ever thought, felt and tried to convey for as long as I can remember. You nailed it Renee! You are on my list of must know people…

  11. Amy E says:

    Love this article! It's oh so true! I have been single longer than I have been married. There is a lot of peace and comfort in being alone. I'm a nerd, so I'm fascinated by everything. I have enough hobbies to last me two lifetimes. Not that I wouldn't enjoy having a partner. Fortunately, I have some great male friends.

  12. Gina says:

    I don’t mean to sound full of myself but oh my, I felt like you were describing me. I do yoga. I sew and I write and not only poetry.

    Unfortunately. I guess the men I meet don’t want to be challenged. I Am Very Old Fashioned AND They Get So Intimidated. I even printed this because I thought about even caging my expectations, but instead with this article, it just gives me more reasons to keep being the way I am and not settle for anyone. Thank you so much and many blessings. Xoxo

  13. fitzjameshorse says:

    I think its as much about Friendship as Dating.a
    It seems that the frontier days of the Internet…late 1990s….are long gone. It was easier to make friends (and possibly date) fifteen years ago and while I have retained some, some fall by the wayside.
    The point I am trying to make is that social media such as Facebook has actually made it harder to relate.
    And certainly the Blogging experiences of My Space, Live Journal and Word Press empower us as citizen journalists but do nothing for relationships.
    They have actually created barriers that were not there in the old chat room days of AOL and Yahoo.
    Of course all of us were burned in some way….financially and emotional by the old frontier friendships. But somehow we have lost a lot of…potential.

  14. xavibrenn says:

    Just wowowwww !!!

  15. elephantjournal says:

    It's definitely about friendship too! You've got it. Thank you. ~ Renee

  16. elephantjournal says:

    Hey Gina! Yes, the idea is that – to some degree – we recognize the quality traits like this in ourselves, our lovers, our friends. It's about seeing the fabulous traits in a person and acknowledging them publicly. Thanks for reading! ~ Renee

  17. elephantjournal says:

    Really? Wow I'm not sure that anyone has said that to me, ever. In real life I'm pretty quiet lol! This just came out one day…I'm not sure where from. 🙂 Thank you, though. Very flattering. xox ~ Renee

  18. Jason McKinney says:

    Superb article! I love that you wrote about my wife. 🙂

  19. Pdtn says:


  20. Tiffani says:

    I wish I could send this to the man I just walked away from for every reason in this article. He needs to read it but he isn't ready. One day he'll find himself and I'll sadly be long gone. 🙁