October 2, 2013

Just a Few Desserts of Motherhood.

They say it’s all about perspective.

How we see our life situations and how we make meaning of our experiences. Our thoughts and feelings about ourselves as people—what we do, what happens to us, our histories, our emotions.

Conclusions and meanings drawn from all of this become our reality. The cool thing is, that at any time—we can work towards creating a new perspective when the current one no longer serves us. And this will happen. New stages and phases of our lives often require us to change, leading to a new outlook—a new reality.

The transitioning into motherhood is certainly one of these life experiences that changes us, challenges us, and leads us into undiscovered territories. All that we knew and felt prior to this moment is changed, not for the better or worse—just different. It’s almost impossible to see ourselves in the same way. We are no longer just considering our own journey on this planet—we will forever take into consideration another human being in a way that has not been done by us up until this moment.

And of course, struggle will exist. Motherhood requires a balance of patience, love, discipline, compassion, awareness and emotionality. Some of the best desserts take time, patience, and love to get just right. The time we put into making fresh baked pies and creamy rich cheesecake is so worth it, as we all know.

What might happen if we attempted to create the goodness of that dessert without mindfulness, awareness, love and compassion—would it really reach all it’s intended potential? I think it would fall short.

So, as I look back over the years of stages and phases that I thought at the time I would be stuck in for forever, I realize those were just moments in time. Just like this moment in time—when I can feel and see all the goodness, and the desserts of the past several years, as I tried to figure this whole motherhood thing out.

No one said it was going to be easy. But, as we all know, there are some really cool and exhilarating parts of this role we call “Mom.”

Witnessing all the firsts—smiling, crawling, and walking. driving and dating.

First days of school, first time to Disneyland, first time driving, first date, first job. And, even if some of these firsts don’t make it into the baby book, it’s okay. The memory is there—and growth took place—whether it’s documented or not.

Being available to support and help make things better when struggles exist.

Knowing that they can count on me. I’m willing to be a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, a hug when they need it, a perspective that differs from their current lens and a listener. I feel comfort and security knowing that they know they have a safe place to be all of themselves—whatever that calls for in the moment.

The sharing of their curiosity about themselves, their friends and world around them.

The descriptions of books read. The stories of what was learned in school or on their own. The funny details of life and times with friends. Witnessing the hopefulness for future experiences. I love to see them excited about all of these. I am so appreciative of the early morning check-ins and the late night “good nights,” where even at their age, I enjoy just as much as I did when they were in elementary school.

Our current supportive environment allows us all to find our own way.

The support that we feel for each other is the cherry on top. I, myself, haven’t ever experienced the likes of it. I know that if I need something—anything—that I have three other people who I can call on. And they all know the same. I’m a fierce mama and my family knows that. I’ve mindfully worked on creating a culture of support in our family—no matter what. Witnessing them display a bit of their own tenacity when faced with their passions and for what they believe in is the goodness.

We’ve all grown up together and helped each other learn along the way, and I am grateful for that.

We’ve all made mistakes, and we will continue to do so, but we’ve found ways to forgive and move past them.

In times of struggle—we fix what can be fixed and we move on. My perspective is that energy creates and is attracted to like or similar energy.

So, I mindfully choose to highlight what is working—giving focus to this, creating change as needed along the way. All the while, choosing to make the most out of this roller coaster we call Motherhood.


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Ed: Sara Crolick

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