October 2, 2013

Sexually Obsessed? Read this.

Do you control it, or does it control you?

Everyone seems to have some sort of obsession in life, from a need for dark chocolate, to a need for something much darker.

When Pluto transits your 8th or 12th House, your unconscious motivations rise to the surface to help you understand the ways they empower you, as well as how they sabotage you.

You’re compelled to come to grips with an obsession, compulsion or even an addiction—and confront it. Pluto’s influence may force you to overcome it.

Ironically, you find that your conscious attempts to change are undermined by unconsciously motivated actions that end up subverting you. You become frustrated because, despite your sincere efforts, you aren’t able to control certain behaviors, as you notice things not working out the way you intended.

That’s when you finally admit to yourself, “I can’t seem to control my temper,” or “I know I should stop eating so much,” or “I’m addicted to pornography, but I can’t stop.” As a result, you feel powerless to change a part of your personality that is unhealthy or unproductive.

A Pluto transit gives you the opportunity to confront unconscious behavior that has produced negative results in your life. This behavior may have originated during your childhood, only to cause you problems and upsets in your relationships as an adult. However, now you’ll finally be able to purge it from your personality so it can be replaced with a new way of behaving.

But to accomplish this transformation, you must get to the root of why you’ve behaved this way in the first place. This isn’t always easy, as Danny found out.

Danny is a very handsome young man and easily attracts women with his intense personality, masculine physique, and seductive magnetism.

He’s grown used to getting his way sexually with women he dates, to the point that he seldom takes “no” for an answer when he wants a woman. Despite the many women he goes out with, he seldom has more than one or two dates with any of them. His dates complain that Danny seems to be interested in “only one thing!”

Danny tries to move slower and not be so sexually aggressive, but he ends up forgetting his intention and screwing things up by repeatedly behaving badly.

A case in point was his last dating experience with a woman he met at a party. Danny was really attracted to this woman’s personality, character and beauty. He could see she was a special woman with whom he might be able to enjoy a relationship, not just a one-night stand. So, he wanted to make sure to restrain his sexual desires this time, promising himself he’d focus on letting them both get to know each other first.

The first dinner date went well and he felt in control of himself. On the next two dates with her, he made sure not to be alone with her at either of their apartments, for fear he would come on, too aggressively.

This strategy worked because they were having a nice time getting to know each other. Then, on their next date the young woman invited Danny into her apartment. She made it clear that she just wanted to enjoy a glass of wine and then go to bed early. She explained that dating was new to her, and that she liked going slowly before becoming intimate with a man.

He acknowledged he understood, realizing it was important he respect her wishes. But as he sat on the couch close to her, something changed—as he felt a real sexual attraction for her, he no longer cared about his pledge to himself or her words to him.

He leaned over to kiss her and when she pulled away Danny got angry, calling her a tease, and from there the conversation got ugly with his date asking him to leave. Danny left, and as he got into his car he tried to understand how he had suddenly lost control of himself. He asked himself,

“What happened? I knew how I wanted to behave; yet I couldn’t control myself.”

Danny experienced the power of Pluto’s unconscious energy to interfere with his conscious intentions, especially because he was unaware of the psychological issue driving his behavior: he doesn’t respect women, only seeing them only as sexual objects for his personal gratification.

If he wants to really change his deep-seated behavior, he’ll most likely require professional assistance.

Pluto’s influence makes it possible for you to understand the hidden side of your personality.

It’s important to recognize that its energies can also activate the dark side of your nature. I consult with many clients who are sure—because they intellectually are aware of their bad behavior, they can now regulate their problem and remedy it. Most of the time, they are as powerless to control it as Danny was.

The reason they fail is because their behavior emanates from their unconscious. Therefore, correcting it requires going to the root of the problem, not trying to resolve it just on a mental level. I had one client who had a similar problem to Danny’s and she said,

“Yes…I know I have that problem, so I just watch myself to make sure that I don’t act that way.”

She was only fooling herself, since the same behavioral problem in her relationships came up each year that I consulted with her.

Pluto’s influence offers you the potential to transform yourself in a deep and profound way. When it transits your 8th or 12th House, it may give you an awareness of how your behavior has caused your relationships or actions to succeed or fail.

This provides you with the opportunity to confront your feelings and emotions so you have a better understanding of how they have positively or negatively affected your life.

Then you can consider if you need to make any radical changes to improve yourself; or if you need some professional help to assist you.

If you want to know where your personal transits are—to see if they are affecting you, go to the Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. You may find that the transiting planet, Pluto is affecting your life right now.


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Ed: Catherine Monkman

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