November 6, 2013

My Top 10(ish) Silly Excuses for Not Going to Yoga (Many of Which I’ve Used).

Admit it. You get a little lazy from time to time.

We’ve all been there, baby. It’s a battle between you and yourself. More specifically, it’s a mighty smack down between your highest, authentic self and the self that wants to hang out on the couch all day, eating leftover Halloween candy and playing Words With Friends. And if you light some Nag Champa, it might just feel like you’re at yoga.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re not alone on that freight train to Slothville. Not to be a bad influence, but I’ve come up with some pretty good excuses in my day…

1. The Breaking Bad finale is on. Wild horses couldn’t drag me to yoga that day. But I did go to Trader Joe’s to get some snacky grub.

2. It’s too cold. It’s too hot. These go together, because I live in Los Angeles., where we hardly have weather. It’s never too anything.

3. My favorite yoga pants have dog hair on them, and I can’t find the lint brush. Yes, I have other yoga clothes, but they have dog hair on them too.

4. I want to stay home with my husband. He always looks so warm, all curled up in bed. Why would I leave?

5. My back hurts. Yeah, you know why? Because I haven’t been going to yoga.

6. I just don’t fucking feel like it. That about sums it up.

7. I’m in a bad mood. See above.

8. Stupid traffic. Again, I live in Los Angeles. There’s cars, like, everywhere.

9. My husband said something about sushi. Check your Instagram in half an hour. There’ll be a photo from me of deep fried shrimp heads.

10. I ate too many Altoids today and now I have a stomach ache. It happens.

I was going for 10, but why stop there? Down Dog can wait.

11. I need to do my roots. Or I could wear a hat. Would that be weird?

12. My dog sees me putting on my shoes and he’s giving me “the look.” My dog Shamus, he’s the master of guilt trips.

13. There’s dirty dishes in the sink. I know it’s not the end of the world, but it bothers me.

14. The regular teacher isn’t teaching. I’m definitely not in the mood for Suzy Sub. Good thing I checked the schedule.

15. I’m hungover. OK, I’m drunk. My advice? You should probably just go back to bed. You could hurt yourself.

I have a new plan: I’m making myself get up, leave my sleeping husband and go to yoga in the morning, at 8:30. No matter what.

What the hell?

It’s only an hour.

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Ed: Bryonie Wise


Photo: Julie de Waroquier Uploaded on YouTube

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