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January 25, 2014

3 Reasons Why Sex is More Popular Than…

Nature.

We gravitate toward stories about sex instead of nature (yet we care about the state of our world, right?)

So why is sex more popular than nature?

We quickly click on tantalizing stories like Can We Be Lovers and Not Have Sex? or 6 Ways to Have Radically Intimate Sex to find ideas for creating more intimacy with our lover, but we barely look at stories about ecology.

I imagine that most of us, readers, love being in nature: we enjoy our strolls along golden beaches watching the sunset or sunrise (depending on where you live) or we revel in our two-week backpacking trip in the Trinity Alps—coming back with smoky shirts and dusty boots.

As much as we adore our adventures in nature, we still tend to click on the stories about sex.

At first, I humphed at readers for taking more pleasure with stories about sex than nature, but then I mused over it as I biked on a 70 degree January day in northern California. It’s hot. Yes, not just today, but the whole idea of sex is hot.

We cannot really control it, but we can. We cannot really delve into the intensity of it, but we do. We cannot ever really completely know sex, but we try.

We just know the moment; that feeling of being completely pulled under a wave, yet still floating on top of the salty water. Yes, we love sex more than nature. I agree.

And here’s why:

1. The Exploration:

Adventure is sexy. Sex is an adventure. We love exploration. We, humans, are pleasure seekers—a sudden kiss on our lips or a look into those darting eyes that speak words that are unspoken—we want to test the limits.

Certainly adventures like getting lost while canoeing on the Mad River (it’s happened) or climbing mountains are challenges, but the real quest is the meeting of our bodies with an other(s).

A few nights ago, I heard a young woman discussing relationships with a fellow at a cafe. In this cafe chatter, she explained, “That dating is all about finding out what you don’t want.” After reflecting on my own experiences, I disagreed with her. I believe dating—and sex (or love making)—is about finding out what you do want: a slow tease of touches along your naked back or a sudden connection after days of sexual energy building up, perhaps both.

Learning to know what we want is why we are so consumed with reading about sex.

We need insight on the adventure of sex. We, gals, may not get that men may want more than a one-night stand. Or you guys may find that we, women, may truly want a few adventures, but nothing serious. We’ve got too much to do before settling into a long relationship.

All-in-all, we learn what we want through the adventures. And as much as nature provides a space for building up our endurance through our runs, hikes, bikes and climbs up the peaks. There’s more to living than just nature, eventually all that love of nature will come in handy in the sack.

2. Connection.

We all adore a sense of connection (come on, you are lying if you say that you don’t!), and sex is truly one of the most profound ways to achieve this meeting of bodies, minds and hearts.

And once we taste those feelings that come with sex, then it’s hard to step away. That’s why we look for advice in the articles about sex—sex is a powerful act, and then some!

Here’s where the confusion settles in: we enjoy the hook up, but get lost in our self-doubts.

What if the other doesn’t want to step into a space of deepening a connection or vice versa?

How do we go about recognizing a potential union without being too vulnerable? How do we stay steady in our ways while still being open-hearted?

I think here’s a perfect time to visit articles about nature. Actually, we should just take a trip to the river, beach or mountains.

Get out there and find our connection with nature as there are just as many clues about relationships in rafting a river (think rapids) as there is in reading an article about sex.

3. The Orgasm(s).

Yep, that is ultimately what most of us are looking for in sex.

A crashing ecstatic crest where we dissolve into our bodies and out of them in one brief moment, which feels like it may last for eternity. Yes! That’s it.

Certainly, it’s a little bit harder to fall into the pleasure of an orgasm about pristine mountains or golden beaches (perhaps there are a lucky few who can, but…).

We tend not to read articles about how to get an orgasm while hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. We read stories like Size Really Does Matter because it really does—read the article, and you’ll know what I mean—as the author isn’t talking about mountains.

Sure we can have orgasms in pristine places (think sleeping bag, tent and scaring away mountain lions with an orgasmic chorus).

I think that we lean toward reading about sex because we are afraid that we won’t be able to find those orgasmic moments without a guide.

So why not take a risk—head for the hills, jump in a kayak or put on a harness (for rock climbing)—get out into nature (let it be your guide), and just maybe, the sex may follow (plus you can keep reading the sex articles for pleasure!).

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Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

Photo Credit: Stephanie Luksan/Pixoto

 

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