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January 15, 2014

Operation Better Sex: Be a Superhero for the Sexual Revolution. ~ Mary Tam {Video}

Let’s talk about sex, baby.

No really, let’s talk about it.

A lot of people spend a lot of time thinking about sex. And trying to have it. But how often do we discuss it in a meaningful way?

Let’s start with an easy question: how did you learn about sex?

Take a second to think about it. Was it an overly informed childhood friend? A convoluted metaphor involving flora and fauna? Watching the nudie channel when someone’s parents were out of town?

Or perhaps you had to hide your genuine surprise during the first sex-ed class at school.

As you started to piece together this intriguing mystery, what did you come to think it was supposed to be like? How long did it take you to realize that childhood friend may have had a few details wrong? Or that what you saw in that porn doesn’t always feel that great on the receiving end?

Do you have it all figured out with nothing left to learn?

Probably not.

In our culture, sex is too often presented in ways that create unhealthy assumptions. We are accustomed to sex through a synthetic lens. Through a filtered one. A detached one.

A violent one.

Perhaps it’s time to get rid of the lens entirely.

Sex can be one of the most amazing experiences in life (many will argue the most). It can also be one of the most horrific experiences, when against one’s will (many will argue the most).

And of course there’s a whole lot of mediocre sex happening, unnecessarily. In order to shift that, to reduce the negative sexual experiences people have, we need to shift the way we think about sex. The way we talk about it. The way we have it.

While perceptions of sex continue to evolve, many people are still uncomfortable discussing sex in an open and honest way.

Sure, there are fetish sites out there for anything you can think of. There is no shortage of “how to” sex guides that are helpful, but can feel a bit on the sterile side. There tend to be fewer resources that live somewhere between hardcore and fluffy, that are both entertaining and enlightening.

Operation Better Sex, an animated short video, focuses on the disconnect between how sex is presented in our culture, and what pleasurable sex really is…not to mention the wide spectrum of what represents “pleasurable” to different people. It aspires to be humorous, inclusive, and dialogue-provoking.

Take three minutes of your life to watch this. Hopefully, at the very least, you’ll be entertained. At best, it may inspire you to share something new with your partner, or pay attention to what your partner is trying to tell you, whether it’s with words or body language. Share it with friends who will appreciate the message.

Operation Better Sex does not say anything that hasn’t been said before, but it does attempt to frame it in a way that’s more digestible and allows people to absorb the message.

It is but a drop in the bucket of the growing sex-positive movement.

Be a part of it. Be brave enough to acknowledge the issue. Bad sex is no different than any other challenge…”if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

So what’ll it be? Will you remain a complacent bystander? Or will you be a paratrooper for the sexual revolution?

Your call.

In case you do better with visual models, here’s an ERRC Grid (Eliminate-Reduce-Raise-Create) take on Operation Better Sex, which was originally intended to be a series of short videos covering a range of topics such as communication, sexual violence, porn, and fantasies:

Eliminate

  • Non-consensual sex
  • Sexual violence and exploitation
Raise

  • Pleasure
  • Communication
  • Positive sexual experiences
Reduce

  • Contrived sexual behavior
  • Biased representation of sex
  • Bad sexual experiences
Create

  • Informal sex-education resource
  • Healthier perception of sex

 

 

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Assistant Editor: Renee Picard/Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: screenshot from video

 

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