I feel a certain amount of yogi-shaming that I have gotten the flu.
In addition to having fever, chills, aches, sweats, congestion, headache and overall disgustingness, I am deeply embarrassed. Thatâ€™s because if I had consumed enough green drinks, or meditated more, this wouldnâ€™t have happened to me.
Even though yoga is not supposed to be competitive, of course it is. We see the Instagram photos of the uber-yogic-yogis drinking green drinks and eating their nuts and berries. It is supposed to be inspiring, but some of us feel like schmucks.
I could do better with my diet. I am gluten-free, drink green drinks and eat healthy food. I am almost veganâ€”and by that I mean I eat a little bit of farm-raised, grass-fed, antibiotic-free animal protein.
However, I also drink vodka, eat Swedish fish and swallow enough Splenda to kill a Green Bay Packer.
Furthermore, if you practice Hot Yoga of any kind, Bikram or Power, you are not supposed to get sick. Thatâ€™s what everyone says. I even take supplements and inhale essential oils.
I do all that stuff to thriveâ€”but then I took a dive.
Therefore, when I got the flu, I was afraid. I knew it would cost me readers, respect, and of course, my students who are looking for a real yoga teacher.
Because real yogis donâ€™t get the flu!
Now, and I know this is controversial, I have decided to get a flu shot.
Yes. I said it. You know Iâ€™m not afraid of controversy. Iâ€™ve written about kale and gluten. Iâ€™ve written about bad girl behavior, which apparently happens everywhere except in Denver.
Iâ€™ve written about theÂ bad boy behavior of our gurus. Iâ€™ve written about rape in India and the Republicans in the U.S., and I have no idea why I put those two things in a single sentence but I might still be feverish. I have written about gun control and abortion. I even wrote about, gasp, what to wear to practice yoga.
Now I am venturing into the fray by saying that I am getting a flu shot. After this, I mayÂ go into witness protection.
I know that there is some evidence that the flu shot may be bad for you. It has mercury in it, but probably not as much as the tuna Iâ€™ve eaten. It costs around $25 in my area. And the last time I had it, in 2008, it made my arm hurt. A lot. I couldn’t do Crow Pose for six months.
On the other hand, this flu was really freaking bad. In fact, 45 people have died from it so far, and one was described as a very nice middle-aged woman with a great sense of humor.Â That could have been me!
I lost work from this [email protected]#king flu. My husband and teenage children are shunning me even more than usual. My girlfriend came to visit and I had to hug her knees! So I bought Tamiflu to fight it, which costs around $250.
Now I am out $250, which in yoga-dollars is like an entire yearâ€™s pay. I am still sick, and I am ashamed. This little yogi cannot win, so I give up.
Crucify me if you will, but Iâ€™m getting the flu shot.
It has to be better than this hell Iâ€™ve been through with the flu.
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