March 11, 2014

10 Things “Real” Men Do.

Smiling Man

1. Feel

There seems to be some wild misconception that men shouldn’t talk about their feelings, but the real men I know feel. Rather than repressing their emotions, they talk about their feelings. They have the balls to sit down with an open heart and speak from a place that isn’t guarded or shut down. They don’t hear the words “we need to talk” and run away with their vulnerability tail in between their legs.

2. Get Our Souls Naked

Real men know the juiciest and sweetest parts of us don’t lie beneath our panty lines. They know the jackpot in love is undressing a woman’s soul, layer-by-layer, piece-by-piece. Real euphoria goes deeper than sex.

3. Scrape Windshields in the Dead of Winter

One night after a long night of slinging drinks at a bar in Edmonton, one of the bouncers walked me to my car and insisted on cleaning my car off. I gave up resisting and got inside my car as he brushed the six inches of snow off and scraped the ice off my windows in the silly -30 degrees Celcius weather. It was one of the nicest things a man has done for me to this day. Not all women want to be picked up for a date, have her door opened, her jacket hung for her, the bill paid for, and to be walked to her steps without the expectation of coming in. Most of us have a hard time receiving regardless of our sex, and women have battled fiercely for equality on our planet. So sometimes we may insist on going Dutch and maintaining our independence, but at the end of the day chivalry is nice and so are acts of service. Beneath chivalry lies the intent that you want to take care of us, and we like that.

4. Reach For Us Before the Cell Phone in the Morning

When we pick up our phone we immediately disconnect from the moment unraveling in front of us. Prioritizing a snuggle, followed by some morning breath kisses and maybe some hanky-panky gets a man far in this girl’s books. Emails, Instagram, stocks, voicemails and texts will still be kicking around inside our phones twenty minutes from the moment we open our eyes, I promise.

5. Show Up On Time

Whether it’s a dinner reservation at a five-star restaurant or a Skype date in sweatpants, when someone shows up on time it communicates that they not only value us, but also their word.

6. Don’t Squirm When They Hear the Word “Period”

Lady time is part of life, gentlemen. A real man isn’t put off by talk of cramps, cravings or the occasional roller coaster of emotions that happen during shark week. Real men can buy tampons.

7. Have an Open Mind

Real men aren’t racist, sexist or homophobic. They don’t feel superior because of their gender, skin color or sexual preference. Real men don’t sit at the bar and discuss shop culture that “isn’t for their wives,” real men care less what color skin you have, or what country your genetics came from. They don’t believe they are stronger, more intelligent or superior because they are born with a penis.

8. Show Up

Nothing is sexier than accountability. Real men are accountable for their own well-being—and ours. They know the importance of showing up.

9. Listen

I once had a boyfriend who—for my birthday—took me to a play, made me a homemade card, played my favorite Sinead O’Connor song on the drive, and bought me a MEC gift card. I had mentioned a month earlier that I’d never seen a play and spoke of my desire to do so. I told him that my mother had sung “Nothing Compares to you” while I was in her belly and while learning to take my first steps. He wasn’t artsy or that creative but he knew I liked that kind of stuff. I was about to embark on a trip to Australia and had mentioned needing everything from toilet paper to-go to Clif Bars. Listening goes far.

10. Drink Bellinis

Real men can drink bellinis, wear fuchsia and rent chick flicks free of shame. They know their testosterone isn’t threatened by their taste buds. They don’t feel the need to drive big trucks, bench press small countries or drink whisky to validate their sexuality. They are comfortable with their masculinity and don’t need to prove anything. They just do as they please.


Relephant reads:

10 Girly Things Burly Men should do.

Why I’m not a ‘Real Man’ and Don’t Want to Be.

Introvert, Extrovert, Empath? Or all?


Author: Janne Robinson

Editorial Assistant: Hannah Harris/Editor: Bryonie Wise

Photo: Pixoto

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Shane Mar 24, 2016 2:22pm

"Esse quam videri" Latin for to be rather than appear to be . Don't speak a lick of Latin ,just sounded cool. Introduced it to my daughter when she was 9 and told her this was our official family credo. Still holds true today at 16 …for both of us !

A Reg Jan 4, 2016 2:37am

“Real men drink Bellinis”…?

Now, let’s think for a second that a ‘real man’ had a taste for them. Certainly they can do as they please. But, I never drank anything that I didn’t like. I drank Miller Lite because it was the best tasting low cal beer, to me. I drank whiskey because I LOVED the taste.

Truth be told, REAL MEN don’t spend that much time thinking about what they drink.

Caveat: I quit drinking, so I could be a ‘real husband and father’. True story.

Melina Dec 6, 2015 7:30pm

"wear fuchsia and rent chick flicks free of shame" <3.

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Janne Robinson

Janne Robinson is a 21st-century feminist beat poet. Her voice haunts with the legacy of early feminists and poets such as Gloria Steinem, Charles Bukowski, and Jack Kerouac. Her no sugar shit prose cuts with the honesty and simplicity of Bukowski and the romantic reliability of Kerouac. Her poetry leads like a woman, walking with fire in the footprints of Steinem—breathing sexual liberation, choice, and overall championing women to their birthright of not only equality but leadership.

Robinson notoriously states that her career is to “share slabs of her heart for a living.” Her ability to capture the human experience with unrefined sincerity makes her an incredible force in the modern landscape of personal expression.

Her loyal following of enthusiasts on social media are there not only for her brutal honesty and lyrical grace but also for her lifestyle, which is a mirror of her devotion to joy and refusal to work to work to work to die. Robinson’s films and art shit on the societal “shoulds” and norms and encourage people to ‘build their own box’. She is an outrageous idealist and master at effortlessly marrying the life she wishes to live with her work, and this enrages and inspires many who believe they are trapped.

Robinson’s foray into directing and the multimedia world was in directing a spoken word poetry film in NYC involving 18 women reading the lines from her poem, “This Is For The Women Who Don’t Give a Fuck.” The film was a viral sensation online and was nominated for the 2016 Cannes Corporate Media & TV Awards.

Janne is very much so crowning at the beginning of what is and will be a triumphant career, and she has begun so with the hearts of millions indebted and watching as it is rare to stumble upon a woman who makes revolution nature.

You can connect with her on Instagram or at her website.