A Letter From The Love You Haven’t Met Yet. ~ Emily Bracken

Via Emily Bracken
on Apr 27, 2014
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Peter Hellberg via Flickr

Dear Future Love of My Life:

I know. I should have written before.

Forgive me.

But I got the feeling that you were beginning to think I didn’t exist. But I do. And I wanted to let you know that while I might be as elusive as a unicorn grazing in a field of four leaf clovers, I’m close.

I’m around the corner, down the street, on Facebook, in your office, at our local coffee shop, a complete stranger.

I made eyes at you once on the subway.

I saw you across the room at a party.

I swiped you right on Tinder.

But it’s not our time yet. And I know you’re wondering why.

It’s really not fair that you’ve had to wait this long, or go on blind dates, endure bad sex, settle for meh relationships, feel misunderstood, cry from loneliness, wrap your arms around a pillow as you fall asleep at night.

I’m so sorry, my love. You deserve an explanation.

So here it goes. It’s taken me a long time to even admit this to myself much less to you, so please know that everything I’ve written here is true.

The reasons we haven’t met yet, in no particular order:

1. I haven’t thrown out the list of things I think you should be.

2. I’m with the wrong person right now.

3. I’m not ready to be loved unconditionally.

4. Since my life isn’t together, I think you’ll reject me.

5. I still believe that drama is a show of love.

6. I’ve been intentionally keeping my head too busy to think with my heart.

7. I need to date more to understand what I do and don’t like.

8. I won’t be able to appreciate you until life has kicked my ass.

9. I’m too focused on my own needs.

10. I don’t know how to create the feeling of home that lives in my heart.

Clearly, I’m not my best self yet. Or even myself—I’m still figuring out who that is. I’m pretty sure even if we did meet, you wouldn’t like me all that much right now. It’s entirely possible that we did hit it off once, and I left without getting your information; or maybe I did get your number and never called because of any one of the above reasons.

Be patient with me, darling heart.

Know that I’m working my way toward you. So don’t spend any more time thinking about where I am or am not. Just keep making your life exciting and full, so when we do finally come together, we can bring each other joy, because we are already happy.

I know it’s taking longer than you’d like. It’s a hell of a lot slower than I could have ever imagined.

But I’m here.

This is me talking to you. And I’m not going anywhere.

Don’t give up on me.

Yours,

In perpetuity,

The Love You Haven’t Met Yet

 

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Photo: Peter Hellberg via Flickr


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About Emily Bracken

Emily Bracken is a writer of articles, the screen, and is currently at work on her first book, “Slutty Isn’t A Halloween Costume: And Other Things Only Your Cool Aunt Will Tell You.” She lives in Brooklyn Heights, NY and, sometimes, Venice, CA

Comments

85 Responses to “A Letter From The Love You Haven’t Met Yet. ~ Emily Bracken”

  1. Andrea says:

    Beautifully written and lovely sentiment but I no longer believe this is possible. There's a reason the word "spinster" exists, some of us just aren't meant to find many, one, or "the one". I'm learning to accept this fact of my life and find it frustrating when people, who know nothing about me or my life, try to convince me otherwise. Yes I'm jaded, though I prefer to think of it as being realistic. It hurts less than trying to keep hope alive for something that will never happen.

  2. kristen says:

    Absolutely beautiful. Shared it.

  3. yasmin says:

    I needed this. Thank you

  4. Catherine says:

    Thank you. my boyfriend left me 3 weeks ago for 9 out of the 10 reasons you list. Hoping he will realize all this very soon and call me back. But maybe he is not my true love..another man is.. and I haven't met him yet!

  5. Shelley says:

    Beautifully written and inspirational
    Although I have been rejected and turfed over (for someone half my age… yawn how predictable)… I am using this opportunity (and it IS an opportunity) to find who I am and where I am meant to be in this crazy, mixed up life.
    And whether that means finding another love, or just learning to be content with "enough"… that is not clear but I am enjoying the journey and the incredible people I am meeting on the way

  6. Louise says:

    Lovely! Thank you!

  7. Laura says:

    just wow! this is like it was written just for me xx

  8. blythe says:

    So very beautiful. Thank you.

  9. Marianna says:

    haha i too think this was written for me, and in a wonderful shift of perspective, it’s uplifting. we’re not alone! true love, true selves, true purspose..and feeling home. i’m personally stuck on no. 10 more than all the others now. hanging in there. love and good vibes to the author and to all the present and future loves of some other’s life out there. M x

  10. Marianna says:

    Sounds like it was written for me too, and in a wonderful shift of perspective, it's upliftign! true love, true self, true purpose..and feeling home. we're not alone. i'm personally stuck on no. 10 more than anything else (but will admit to partially clinging on to my ideal list too). lots of love and good vibes to the author and all the loves of some other's life out there..

  11. John says:

    Dear John…..

  12. Amanda says:

    Dear Emily,

    There is nothing about this post and the timing of it that could be more perfect. It’s as though you have taken the words from my page. It’s such perfection that I wonder if I’m your soul mate. Haha.

    Thank you xxx

  13. sara says:

    Emily – Thank you for writing this letter. From the comments, I guess we are all in the same boat. I’m glad to know I am not alone. Below, I wrote a note back to ‘The Love You Haven’t Met Yet’.

    All Elephant Journal-ers – Thank you for continuing to exist. Your words and topics are so freaking meaningful, I hope I never have to live without you!

    ======================================

    Dear The Love You Haven’t Met Yet (aka Darling) –

    Keep being patient. Keep working on being present. We are both making progress.

    I have no doubt that all the pain, suffering and worry will all be worth it. I also think all of the pain, suffering and worry will just melt away and be completely forgotten after we are together.

    We will be together at exactly the perfect time. And everything will make sense for why things unfolded the way they did. It could not happen any other way.

    Know that I will be waiting for you until the end of all time to love your every cell. There is nothing you could say or do that will ever stop me from loving all of you. I will never give up on finding you. Please don’t give up on finding me.

    The tears of sadness that I am shedding today for you, will be tears of joy and happiness when we are both ready to completely and wholely love ourselves and each other.

    Forever & Always,

    The Future Love of Your Life

  14. Vivz says:

    This is so true!!! I will be patient for you my dear future!

  15. Samantha says:

    Beautiful… Thank you

  16. San Sere says:

    Through my tears from Barcelona: "Thank you with all my love wishing the best for you." … That was the sign i needed to still go the way completing my myself with joy.

  17. Britt says:

    I read this every once in a while to freshen my view on my love life

  18. Crystal says:

    This could not be more true!!!!!!!!! I have finally met the love of my life, and we have both talked about these things on several occasions. We are in awe at how quickly we fell in love, and frustrated that it took so long and so many heartaches to finally find each other. Regardless, we have both acknowledged that the relationship probably would not have worked had we met earlier in life. Now, all struggles that would have dragged us down in the past are easy. We go into each day completely in love, open, honest, and finally home. Stay strong friends! You will get there!

  19. Melina says:

    Beautiful.

  20. Cyn says:

    Same here, mean for me. This just made me a puddle of tears.

  21. Alexa says:

    Thanks for writing this Emily 🙂

  22. Darien says:

    re: Your Letter

    Dear Love I Haven’t Met Yet,

    You missed my best years. They’re gone and behind me. I no longer have the energy to live with you, nor do I possess the capacity to love you. Your perpetual absence these 33 years has taken its toll, hardening my heart until it grew brittle and shattered into a suffocating dust. Now, all that remains inside me is a hungry void of utter darkness, longing to consume you. I urge you to stay far away. Keep to whatever hiding place you have employed over the past three decades. Should you be foolish enough to cross my path after you have “found yourself”, rest assured that I will hurt you in ways you never dreamed possible. I will scar you, as the gift of your silent neglect has scarred me. You will endure exquisite suffering for as long as you remain with me, and I will draw enjoyment from every moment of misery I inflict upon you. And still, even if you stay by my side to pay penance until your dying day… I will not have satisfaction. The only way I will ever exact my full vengeance upon you will be to experience rebirth as a new person in a new life — one in which I am all that you desire in the world. Then, I can forsake you as I was forsaken. I can make you face existence alone, when you exist only to find strength in me and meaning in our union. Only then will you taste the bitterness that has festered within my soul, and understand how any love I may have once held for you has transformed into seething hatred.

    Wishing you the worst life has to offer,

    Darien

  23. Darien says:

    re: Your Letter

    Dear Love I Haven't Met Yet,

    You missed my best years. They're gone and behind me. I no longer have the energy to live with you, nor do I possess the capacity to love you. Your perpetual absence these 33 years has taken its toll, hardening my heart until it grew brittle and shattered into a suffocating dust. Now, all that remains inside me is a hungry void of utter darkness, longing to consume you. I urge you to stay far away. Keep to whatever hiding place you have employed over the past three decades. Should you be foolish enough to cross my path after you have "found yourself", rest assured that I will hurt you in ways you never dreamed possible. I will scar you, as the gift of your silent neglect has scarred me. You will endure exquisite suffering for as long as you remain with me, and I will draw enjoyment from every moment of misery I inflict upon you. And still, even if you stay by my side to pay penance until your dying day… I will not have satisfaction. The only way I will ever exact my full vengeance upon you will be to experience rebirth as a new person in a new life — one in which I am all that you desire in the world. Then, I can forsake you as I was forsaken. I can make you face existence alone, when you exist only to find strength in me and meaning in our union. Only then will you taste the bitterness that has festered within my soul, and understand how any love I may have once held for you has transformed into seething hatred.

    Wishing you the worst life has to offer,
    Darien

  24. Alice says:

    This made me feel feelings ! it’s seems it was written for me to read today at this moment ! so beautiful thank you for this article <3

  25. Vasudha Parashar says:

    It really felt like it is written by the love of my life I haven’t met. Two words. Motivational and Beautiful.

  26. Patricia says:

    This made me cry touching my soul. Thanks. It’s exactly how I feel. Thank you Emily. Not everyone can touch souls with words….

  27. Renee says:

    Thank you for this. It made me cry. It’s exactly what I needed right now. ❤️

  28. Angie says:

    Today is the day after Valentines Day, which was a hard day for me being alone. With that said after several failed relationships where I gave too much of myself and was left empty and hurt each time I have finally made peace with being alone and no longer feel like I need a man to complete my life. Believe me it took a long time to get here and a lot of tears! I now try to focus on my family and my new grandson who is my joy!! I have quit looking for love with a soulmate because I believe that was were I went wrong. You don’t have to force something if it is meant to be. I was moved by your letter but also want to that although it has taken 50 years it feels good to have made peace with being alone. There are times like yesterday that are still hard but those days pass. Thanks for the letter and I have accepted to just let whatever is meant to be .

  29. Michelle says:

    Thank you for this. Ive never read anything that touched my soul this much. The rush of emotions and tears flowing down my face was extremely unexpected. It’s like everything I felt deep in my heart put into words for the first time. Again, thank you.

  30. Sorry for the late reply! I didn't realize it was still being read! So glad it bought you to THAT place. Keep on keeping that heart open! E 🙂

  31. You are so welcome!!!

  32. You are so welcome, Alice!!

  33. This is awesome, Sara!!!! Thanks for sharing – and feeling all the feels!

  34. Haha! You are WELCOME!!

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