Share this with you favorite Spiritual Charlatan! It works every time, or your money back!
It’s…the New Age Bullshit Generator!
I bet Waylon Lewis, John Friend (efficacy!), Deepak (quantum!), Eckhart (now!), Tony Robbins (ca-ching!), The Daily Love and various twitter/instagram Spiritual Heroes are so pissed right now.
They could have just used this thing all along.
PS: if any of the above don’t find this funny, I’d be surprised. Making fun of ourselves? Not taking ourselves too seriously? It’s fundamental to “the mindful life.”
Don’t have a sense of humor? You ain’t spiritual in my book.
But enough of that!
Ever want to dazzle a girl (ie, get laid) using only your profound spiritual wisdom…but don’t have any? Want to teach yoga, but don’t want to study yoga, first? Want to make money selling folks sham nostrums and false hope?
Read on! Click away! At last!
Click here and all your hopes and fears shall be fulfilled! Guaranteed! Or your money back:
Namaste. Do you want to sell a New Age product and/or service? Tired of coming up with meaningless copy for your starry-eyed customers? Want to join the ranks of bestselling self-help authors? We can help.
So, what is this for? Put it on your website as placeholder text. Print it out as a speech for your yoga class and see if anyone can guess a computer wrote it. Use it to write the hottest new bestseller in the self-help section, or give false hope to depressed friends and family members.
This is right up our alley–making fun of our own tendencies toward Spiritual Materialism.
Relephant bonus round:
But by far the most important spiritual wisdom you can buy: