If men could look past my sex for just a little while, this is what I’d love.
The thing is, I’m not a typical woman and often feel lost in the company of women. I know there are other women out there like me, but I just feel more at home with the guys, if it wasn’t for those small details which mark me out as ‘not one of the guys’—you know, the breasts and vulva that somehow become mountains rather than the molehills they really are.
Sometimes, the ‘molehills’ seem to get in the way of just having a good time.
I want a good wrestle, because men get physical and I love that.
Is there a smallish man out there who could give me a fair wrestle without worrying that he might hurt me or feel embarrassed if he accidentally elbowed a boob? It’s not easy to get physical with a man without all the other ‘stuff’ getting in the way—fear of hurting a woman or the distraction of sex.
I want a good argument, just for the sake of it.
Men seem to have a better knack for having a good row and then laughing about it afterwards. A good argument gets the juices flowing and keeps the mind in shape but needs a degree of emotional detachment to make it work – and men just seem to be better at that.
I want to rough it for a few days, to be one of the guys .
Camping, eating beans from a tin, telling lewd jokes at the fire and singing raucous songs. I love not having to think about washing, grooming or cooking, and sleeping under the stars with wood smoke on my clothes and lots of music and laughter is heaven.
And while we’re camping, can we go skinny dipping (and can you forget my body is different, just for a while)? Warm sun, fresh water, bare skin. Forget about the whole sex thing and lets just enjoy nature as fellow human beings!
And once we’re passed all that, maybe you’d let me change the tire next time it goes flat (because I can, and maybe I need a chance to show that I really can!)? And tackle the shelving that needs to be put up? And have a go at the blocked pipe?
To be honest, I’ve learned to look after children and shop, but I much prefer messing around with power tools and showing my physical stamina. It’s just who I am.
I guess I’m saying, not all women like chocolate and roses (and not all men like having dirt under their fingernails).
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Editor: Renée Picard