A Mindful Approach to Blame & Taking Responsibility.

Via David Zenon Starlyte
on Jun 9, 2014
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“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase “each other” doesn’t make any sense.”

~ Rumi  (13th century)

Let’s meet in this field, far away from routine.

Stop everything you’re thinking about, and just consider these words typed up on your screen, appearing magically, mesmerisingly in front of you on a multi-coloured screen. Did you ever think how your life is created as reality, and yet how much are you conscious of, and what is actually real?

We live inside a bubble of perception.

Everything that seems real isn’t. Everything is an illusion, and arguably the only thing “real” is the soul.

What people are seeking is seeking them. What people are seeking is inside of them already. It is waiting, it is asking them to wake up. It is tapping them on the shoulders.

What you focus on is really reality for you, but it’s not “true reality,” if there is such a thing. Absolute reality is beyond human perception.

The world I see around me is filled with people rushing around doing things, and trying so hard to make it in the world. What would happen if everything stopped—just momentarily—and everything went silent. Imagine the difference it would make.

Imagine what it would be like to live in a mindful world, where people could actually be fully present, and lend their presence to their life. Bringing the full force of mindfulness, one’s conscious awareness to each instant, would be power of such magnitude it would stop the world. And stopping the world, would change the world.

We could become aware of our choices, become aware of ourselves and how we have created our circumstances, how we are responsible for everything in our lives.

Everything we do is based on the choices we make.

The deep subconscious programs that run are consciousness that is usually beyond our awareness or conscious responsibility. These programs are often not even ours and we are probably unaware that they run our lives. We are victims of our programming to a degree. The moment you become aware of this is the moment you “wake up” and start becoming consciously aware of these programs. At that moment, one becomes responsible for one’s choices.

Everything I do is based on the choices I make. I am only responsible for how I perceive what unfolds, which I desire to be enjoyable. The more responsible I am, the better choices I will make. Choices are based on what we are aware of, which is admittedly and pitifully little. 

I dream of having conscious freedom to decide, to choose my own path. True freedom is not to be free of others, it is to be free of our conditioning, the one who controls us.

To know that you are a soul—that is freedom.

Let’s choose now, together as a society, to remove blame from our emotional vocabulary.

Let’s stop blaming our parents.

Let’s stop blaming our lover, partner, children and grandchildren.

Let’s stop blaming our boss, job and economy.

Let’s stop blaming our social status, economic status, gender, age, skin color, religion and nationality.

Let’s stop blaming circumstances, or the weather conditions.

We are responsible for every choice we make, every decision, every thought, every feeling, every action.

Make that responsibility count.

Come and live fully in presence.





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Editor: Travis May

Photo: Picture quotes from elephant archives


About David Zenon Starlyte

David is an international SOUL-COACH who travels the world as a spiritual healer, coach and mindful speaker. David's vision is to create journey retreats to guide people to places of mystery and power to rediscover, balance and ground themselves. Growing up in apartheid South Africa, David had an early initiation into a dysfunctional society. It influenced his thinking and search for peaceful and spiritual solutions. A passion for healing followed a severe childhood illness and a medical approach he found lacking gentleness and compassion. David later studied theology in war-torn Jerusalem for 3 years, before graduating as a Naturopathic physician in Australia. David has studied personal transformation for over 20 years with some of the leaders of human evolution including Grand Master Mantak Chia, Master Chen and Ajahn Brahm. He has worked as Naturopath, Wellness Expert and Healer at the best luxury resort as well as number one destination spa in the world. His spiritual education in mindfulness, prayer and wisdom has included immersion into Qi Gong (China), Buddhism (Thailand & Australia), Taoism (Thailand and China), Tantra, Qabbalah (Jerusalem). For more information, he can be found at: Website: http://davidstarlyte.com, , Email: [email protected] , Facebook: http://facebook.com/iamstarlyte


5 Responses to “A Mindful Approach to Blame & Taking Responsibility.”

  1. melliebear says:

    This was very nicely written! Thank you for sharing!

  2. Melina says:


    Check out this article that points out where the "no blame approach" can go wrong when people are being bullied, mistreated or oppressed. It can sometimes mistakenly lead to no accountability and to giving the bully or oppressor more power…it can also lead to misplaced blame as in vicitim shaming and blaming.

    Also I strongly believe that there is such a thing as right and wrong…sorry Rumi

  3. Thank you! Smiles

  4. There's a difference between blame and responsibility. Actions have consequences. A culture of taking responsibility is really the ideal, instead of "victims." Where there is a case of someone being bullied, it's important to address it, and work with the bullies as well as those being bullied. Rehabilitation is the ideal. Neither a victim should be shamed, nor a perpetrator punished to an extreme. A perpetrator must learn there are consequences to his/her action. Consequences don't need to feel like humiliation or shame. Sensitivity is required. Call this a mindful approach.

  5. darice says:

    My world has stopped, more than once. Death will do that for us. I've had my life & my future, ripped out from underneath me. And guess what? I LIVED! I have learned to question & explore many, many, old ideas. Where did they come from & why do I have them? Are they still true? Do I choose to hang on to them & let them define my world? I'm busy now, creating a new life, a new future. It's hard sometimes, but worth it. I really appreciated your article, thank you for sharing with us. Grins & giggles to all & have a beautiful day 🙂