June 7, 2014

What to do next time you feel Insecurity.


“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~ Steve Furtick

Insecurity is pervasive. We might think about sex every seven seconds, as they say—but we feel insecurity, jealousy, doubt, fear just as much, if not more.

Imagine your day without self-doubt. Imagine your day without fear. With the sort of un-selfconsciousness of a child, running about playing in water fountains.

We learn pride. We learn insecurity. We learn what happiness is supposed to look like. When we have it, we protect it—cliques form and fear gilds our circles with haughtiness. When we don’t have it, we sit in cafes staring out at happy couples walking by, hip friends sitting around a restaurant table, cool cyclists rolling off up the hills on lunch break…and we think, why not me? What’s wrong with me?

As we discussed last week, this loneliness is actually good news. It’s a crack in our egos. It’s a sign that our bullshit isn’t working. It’s the crack where the light gets in.

The trick is to feel your heart. Feel your vulnerability, your sadness. Don’t run. Running creates a lifelong habit of stress, of not being able to soften, to relax into our shaky red beautiful hearts.

And the trick is, as Louis CK reminds us, that loneliness is a wall of fire. Step through it, it’s thin, and you’ll survive. You’ll feel sadness, briefly. Then you’ll feel real joy, and leave behind speediness, fear, stress. Real joy.

So next time you feel like you’re not enough, feel that feeling instead of pushing it away or pretending to be something you’re not.

“Be yourself—everyone else is taken.”

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