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July 27, 2014

9 Healthy Ways To Validate Yourself. ~ Lauren Stahl

little girl puddle reflect child

“All the wonders you seek are within yourself.” ~ Sir Thomas Browne

Validation is something we all strive for.

It is healthy to want to feel validated. Ultimately, the most fulfilling form of validation comes from within. Life is an inside job and the more we look for something else external to validate us, the more we will be taken out of the present and on the constant search for more.

Finding the validation from within is where the foundation to our most fulfilling life is made.

Here are nine healthy ways to practice finding that validation from within:

1. Ask a friend how their day is going.

Showing up and caring for another person feels good. It connects us with the larger picture. Get out of yourself today and ask a friend how they are doing. Be compassionate and kind and truly listen to what they have to say. With this, you can feel the validation from within.

2. Ask yourself what it is you are really looking for.

When you feel the need to be validated externally, there is normally something else going on internally. Are you looking for connection? For love? For nurturance? Take a step back and connect with your soul. By doing this, you are validating yourself with action.

3. Speak to the inner child in you.

Within each of us is that inner child looking to feel safe, loved, and comforted. The beauty is that you can provide this for yourself. When you notice a need for something external, speak to yourself like the parent of the inner child within you.

Embrace love, compassion, and kindness for yourself.

4. Read a quote that inspires you.

When we are looking for validation, sometimes all it takes is a shift in perception to find it from within. Reading an inspiring quote can help with this shift. Here are some that inspire me:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched—they must be felt with the heart.”  ~ Helen Keller

5. Plan a date with a friend.

Validation comes from taking ownership and responsibility in your life. Making the effort to reach out to a friend and plan a date feels good and empowering. Try it today.

6. Buy a book you want to read for leisure.

It can be easy to get caught up in all you need to do and trying to balance work and life. Take some time and go to a bookstore. Peruse the books and find one that speaks to you. Take some time during the week to read it. By doing this, you are listening to your true self.

7. Practice positive affirmations on a daily basis.

There is so much to be said about affirmations. By constantly using and choosing a new thought pattern, you are empowering yourself to create your own belief set. Choose ones that embrace validation. Here are a few:

I love myself and I deserve to be happy.

I see the best in me and believe in myself.

I will let go of judgments around what I am feeling.

I accept myself.

8. Ask someone that you admire out for coffee.

By reaching out to another person, you are being of service. You are entitled to all the good in the world. Is there someone at work that you look up to? A friend that you admire? Get to know this person on a deeper and more intimate level. This is a feel good experience.

9. Begin your day with gratitude.

Gratitude is a bridge between the uncertainty and fear to the clarity on the other side. Start your morning by writing down three things you are grateful for. This brings the soundness and peace of mind to your present moment. Carry this with you for the day.

 

 

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Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: Matt JP at Flickr

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Lauren Stahl

Lauren Stahl is a New York based Accountability Coach. She founded SPARKITE where users SPARK what they want to be held accountable to and she helps to hold them accountable. She is empowering and inspiring people by the day. Learn more about Lauren’s Accountability services. Visit Lauren on FacebookInstagram to Twitter.