People aren’t things, the Universe said.
This concept struck me while walking my dog, on a late summer afternoon as the sun was casting its golden hue among long grassy fields and the sycamore trees.
People (it continued) are processes, events, a multifaceted movement that is never wrapped up or contained in a perfectly defined package.
What you know of your loved ones is fleeting. They themselves, are fleeting. In fact, we all are.
If you relate to them unconsciously, however, your relationship with that person will always be fixed. Leading to stagnation, frustration, misunderstandings and burned bridges.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can remain awe-struck, open, capable of seeing people as they really are: miraculously indefinable, ultimately unknowable.
As this occurred to me, I realized that for each of the various relationships I am in—each complex, individual unique—carries with it a genesis point when I first bonded with the other person in a particular type of relating. This is the moment when the creation of “us” began. And this genesis point can forever unconsciously paint the relating between myself and the other person.
What was resonating between us, was the experiences we had throughout our lives, the pathways that lead us to this moment; a cornucopia of processes, feelings and interpretations.
Suddenly here I was; a process of events, (some of which I remember, most I do not) a human being capable of feeling infinite degrees of emotions, harboring numerous wants, needs, and fantasies, and stringing countless thought patterns together for the word-scapes I reside among. It was from this singular and unique vantage point, where I stood and met the other.
But the “other,” it turns out, isn’t really “other” at all.
He/she in reality, is as infinite a space as I am. A kaleidoscope of emotions, memories, happenings, circumstances, victories, failures, and all shapes and sizes of stories we each tell about where we have been, where we are going, who we are, and who we are becoming.
Precious are these moments; the big-bang-between-before-and-after, when we have the capacity to genuinely see another human being for the infinite expanse that they are: these moments are golden, friends. Savor them.
Be present within those valuable intonations; feel the reverberation of the harmony that exists between two people. What a glorious gift it is for us to witness one another in existence.
By being aware of what is going on in our lives, in our hearts and minds, as we interact with people and form deeper and deeper relationships, we can provide ourselves ample room for expanding and allow the people in our lives to continue to show up larger than what our need for them is.
Love elephant and want to go steady?
Editor: Catherine Monkman
Photo: Pixoto user Sofian Anwar