December 22, 2014

Alchemizing Suffering into Triumphs & Gratitude.


Mastering our lives into liberation.

When we choose to view everyone as a mirror which reflects to us our inner world and our relationship with ourselves, our most challenging relationships and experiences can serve as enormous catalysts, becoming our greatest opportunities for healing, inner peace, compassion—of self and others—and more.

Rather than causing further turmoil and suffering for ourselves by feeling we were wronged in some way and mulling over “what they did” or “how they hurt us,” we can choose to liberate ourselves instead.

This is where free will comes in really handy.

Not to mention that through this lens we realise we are not powerless victims, but rather potential masters of alchemy.

We have the ability to co-create our lives and transform our mental and emotional states based on how we perceive our experiences, regardless of how hopeless or dark they may seem. The choice is entirely up to each of us.

Some of you might not like that I say this, but actually, there is really nothing to forgive or be forgiven for, when you look at it like this. It’s really all about the perspective you choose.

I share now my own life examples of the power of utilizing challenging experiences in order to gain further self-discovery, healing and to come to a general trust in the universe that all that happens in our lives absolutely serves our highest good, whether or not we see it at the time.

There is no ultimate goal or destination. Only to embrace all experiences and people which cross our path with gratitude and faith, that they have come to us for a divine reason.

What follows is a letter to those who have played profound roles in my life, some of my greatest teachers.

You’ve hated me. Thank you. 
For you have allowed me to see how in the past I have hated myself, thinking I am not enough. I believed I was inadequate, unlovable, under-educated, ugly, undesirable and unworthy.

You’ve judged me. Thank you. 
For you have allowed me to see how I’ve judged and criticized myself in the past, for not living up to my, and others, expectations and for not being able to please those who expected too much of me. I was unable to accept myself as I was.

You’ve betrayed me. Thank you. 
For you have allowed me to see how in the past I have betrayed myself, by doing things that dishonored the soul I am. By allowing people to use me, disrespecting myself, and by going along with things I knew were not in my best interest.

You’ve abandoned me. Thank you. 
For you have allowed me to see how I have abandoned myself in the past, through neglecting myself. By putting others first, and forgetting to nurture myself or tending to my own needs, not being present for my emotions or listening to my heart, my “inner knowing” and my body.

You’ve lied to me. Thank you. 
For you have allowed me to see how in the past I have lied to myself, denied my shadows from finding their light, and denied myself from expressing who I truly am. I have hidden my light and the truth of my being from myself and others out of fear, for far too long.

You’ve abused me. Thank you. 
For you have allowed me to see how in the past I have abused myself badly, with my self-directed cruel thoughts and words (conscious and unconscious), and by feeding myself foods, alcohol and other substances which were not healthy for my body, mind and spirit. I beat up my psyche and my heart to a broken pulp. I contributed greatly to my battered heart and my then, fading spirit.

You’ve rejected me. Thank you. 
For you have allowed me to see the ways in which I have in the past rejected myself and the person I was, my less desired traits, my shadow-self. I had hidden them deep out of shame and embarrassment, trying to forget the haunting (false) feeling that I wasn’t enough as I was.

Everything you have ever done, or would ever do, I can in truth only say—thank you!

You have served as the perfect mirror and for your service, for your part in my soul’s growth and my spiritual awakening, I say, thank you.

I am grateful for you.

You have been a precious crucial instrument in my life, to show me where I needed to be kinder to myself, to reveal to me many more sides which were once blind spots. And now I can see. That is truly a divine gift you have blessed me with.

You’ve helped me to heal, to become stronger within myself, to connect to the courage I held within and to awaken to more of who I am. You have been my greatest teacher.

Your role has been divine, and for that, I don’t know how to repay you. But for now, I will again say, thank you.

I love you. I hope I can do the same for you one day.

Without these difficult experiences where people crossed my path to serve as guides, I wonder what I would have learned throughout these years of life.

I’m assuming, a lot less.


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Author: Jessica Ishizuka

Editor: Travis May

Photo: elephant archives

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