Becoming Spiritual: A Story of Kundalini Awakening.

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In March of this year I packed my belongings, left my London job, career and life behind me and went to India to “find myself” and to “heal myself.”

As it turns out, I got a lot more than I bargained for.

While on this journey of healing and self-discovery I somewhat accidentally stumbled upon spirituality, and not only that, I became spiritual, in the truest sense of the word.

This was not a choice or a conscious decision. I did not read a lot of books on spirituality, nor did I do that much by way of spiritual practice except for yoga and sporadic meditation, which in retrospect was an important gateway to my awakening. But while I dabbled delightedly in this new world of mantras, mudras, asana, prana and dharma, I did not wake up and decide one day that spirituality was my new path. I did not even understand what any of it meant, really, until one day, while in Dharamkot, Dharamsala, the Universe decided to show me.

On 27th May, 2014 I met my true (spiritual) Self: the person who always has and always will reside within me, in all her manifestations. I had a Kundalini awakening. And it tore my world to shreds.

(In a good way!)

For those whom, like me before, do not know what I mean by Kundalini rising or awakening, this article by Ben Ralston suffices to explain a lot of what I experienced and the “theory” behind it. I Googled the keywords from it the day after it happened to me and I am grateful that I did. For although I understood innately at the time that I could not intellectualize what was happening to me, to know that others had felt the same amazement, terror and confusion was comforting.

Perhaps I will write in more depth one day about what happened to me that day, and for the days and weeks that followed, but for now I feel that while this is something I want to share, I simultaneously wish to protect and keep sacred some part of this experience, which blew to pieces everything I ever knew and believed to be true about the world and my place in it.

What I will say though is that it was the single most shocking, terrifying, fascinating, sublime and incredible thing I have ever experienced in my life. And unless I reach enlightenment, I will probably keep that trophy for the remainder of this lifetime. The Kundalini energy that awoke in me that day in Dharamsala embodied me with all its force, arousing me, consuming me, overwhelming me, delighting me, inspiring me, frightening me, elating me and leaving me with a thousand and one questions.

It made everything I had seen, done, believed in and been up until that point suddenly seem minuscule and trivial.

It shone light on my true being and on life itself, revealing a whole wealth of possible realities and truths beyond anything I could have ever imagined, and which I still cannot comprehend with my mind.

It opened up to me the wondrous possibilities for love, creation and beauty within me and outside of me.

It revealed the Universe as an impossibly complex but beautifully connected series of portals, dimensions, and forms; a vision of colour, shape and pattern that ebbed and flowed, inward and outward and into itself; an ever-changing, all-consuming, symbiotic “thing” that beggared belief, and yet, made utter sense.

I felt shattered and profoundly confused, but simultaneously filled with joy, love and an overwhelming sense of peace. It was like somebody had clicked their fingers and everything had just slotted into place: all the pieces of the puzzle of my life, before so messy, complicated and overwhelming, were now so obvious, so simple, so fluid, and so beautiful!

And I knew for the first time exactly who I was, why I am here and what I was supposed to do from that point forward.

It was a rebirth, for sure. I saw the (material) world, the Universe, and myself with fresh eyes. Like a newborn baby, I peered out at the wonder around me, in awe at all I saw, heard, tasted, touched and felt.

I felt vulnerable and yet safe, as if I’d just emerged from my mother’s womb, naked and screaming but protected in her arms and sensing through her heart the unconditional love she was offering me (Her being our mother, Mother Nature). This feeling of security, of Universal Love, gave me the faith I needed to surrender.

So, how did this happen?

Despite knowing that nothing I can read in a book or write here will ever compare to the understanding gained through direct experience, being the inquisitive person I am, I have given some thought as to how I arrived at this magical place. What follows is the how and the why if you like. But really, this is a rationalization of an incomprehensible event, because it cannot be understood by the mind—it can only be realized through the body, the heart and the spirit.

Prior to my experience “Kundalini” was just a word that I had heard bandied about in yogi circles and read about once in a book on yoga and the chakras. I saw it as a concept, much like the chakras were just concepts to me (until I began to feel those too). As I said, I hadn’t expected this to happen.

In retrospect however, I can see that in the build up to this event, I had been experiencing a gradual but quite intense heightening of consciousness over some time, in particular in those weeks spent in the Indian Himalayas.

Going first back though to 2013, there was the breaking down of my emotional self and my Ego, triggered by months of depression, anxiety, disillusionment and despair, which led me to abandon “the matrix” and opened my mind and heart to new possibilities.

Then there was the discovery and practice of yoga and meditation, which calmed my mind, helped me let go of fear, anxiety and the past, and taught me to trust my inner voice and be present in the moment, in turn guiding me towards my true Self.

There were also the drugs that I took in the months and years leading up to this date, which blew open my mind and broke down boundaries within myself and between those around me, reigniting in me my love for others, the world, connecting me again with my inner child, and opening up my long-suppressed creativity.

And then there was India, in all her magnificent glory.

god light pray statue buddha silent meditation

It’s hard to explain what this country does to me.

Her energy is so powerful, so strong, and yet so maternal—so female. She is a She: Mother Nature at her finest, or “full power shakti,” as one friend put it. She holds you in her bosom and her energy pulsates through your every cell. From the mountains to the beaches to the dirty city streets, the prana is electrifying. And with each day I was there I felt more alive than I ever had in my life, no more so than by the sacred Mother Ganga in Rishikesh, and then up further into the Himalayan villages of Dharamsala, home to the Dalai Lama.

India poured life force into me with every breath I took. She showed me magic beyond my wildest dreams. And as I ascended further up into the mountains, the air cooler, the dal richer, and the thunderstorms more intense, I felt such a feeling of unity, of wholeness and of acceptance, inside and out—something I realise I had craved my entire life.

And so, in a country that I felt nourished by and cherished in, surrounded by nature, by friends, teachers, and soul mates, with an open heart and at peace with myself for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to be transported to this new realm of possibilities.

I surrendered. And really, that is the only “rational” explanation I have.

And now?

Well, I still have a thousand and one questions! But here are some things that I know for certain:

I know who I am.
I know my purpose on this planet in this lifetime.
I know that whatever happens from this point will be the right thing if I keep on following my intuition, if I keep listening to my heart and to my gut, if I keep my mind in check and fear at bay.
I know that I am finally on my path, following my journey, and living my destiny, not anyone else’s.
I know that I am honouring my soul (my true Self).

So, while I certainly didn’t ask for this (and I still haven’t read any books!) I am without a doubt, now, a “spiritual person.”

From that day in Dharamkot I knew that life would never be the same again. And I was so, so grateful. For this is the greatest gift I have ever been given: to finally be me.

I suppose you might be wondering why I am sharing this, and believe me, I have gone back and forth a hundred times in my mind on the subject.

Before writing this article I’d only told three people about my experience and wasn’t sure whether it was something I wanted to (or even should) share. First, it’s by far the most personal thing I’ve ever written, about an experience so intimate and sacred it’s out of my comfort zone completely to talk about. Secondly, the more I seem to find myself in spiritual cirlces these days, the trickier a subject I realise spirituality is.

While I believe there is a huge shift going on in our collective consciousness at the moment (if you’re reading this you can probably feel it too), we don’t quite know how to discuss spirituality. (Or at least that’s how I feel as a newbie spiritualist.)

But, something compels me to share. In a nutshell: my intuition—a gut instinct and a feeling in my heart that this is part of my journey.

Once we open up access to our internal life-force energy, and especially once Kundalini is activated, we cannot ignore our inner voices and inner hearts, in my experience. Since realizing my higher purpose, it has become almost impossible not to live it, breathe it and act on it. (To do anything less would be so untruthful, I would be consciously living a lie.)

My purpose, I believe, is to share my and others’ healing experiences, to spread knowledge about healing and self-development, to connect healers with those seeking healing, and ultimately, to help in any way I can to bring joy, love and hope to as many people as possible who are stuck in meaningless, empty, depressing cycles of existence.

We in the modern Western consumer-capitalist world have been conditioned to believe that we have no choice but to follow the status quo (get up, work, numb our brains with mindless entertainment, sleep, eat, and repeat).

writer author man laptop cafe

 

We feel trapped in lives we don’t feel are right.

We are longing for something, lacking something (a “thing” or a “feeling” or a purpose), which we can’t quite put our finger on. We are afraid of dying, and of living, and of each other.

And we are so disconnected from ourselves and each other that we know no alternative than to obediently follow the rules and keep a system in check that by its very nature denies us access to the greatest gift we have of all—our true nature.

Most people will continue to live like this until the day they die (in a physical sense at least). And that makes me very sad. Knowing now the power that each of us holds inside I feel it is my duty to share my experience. Kundalini is not a concept; it is real. So why aren’t more people talking about it?

Having had the time since my initial awakening to “come back to earth”—to ground myself, reflect on what happened and integrate these huge energetic shifts into my physical realm plane of reality (the “real world” if you wish), I have kept my eyes and ears open to discussions around the topic.

To my surprise they are few and far between and largely confined to spiritual forums and communities. And I know that outside of my yogi-healing circles it’s unheard of. This leads me to believe (along with my gut feeling) that most people, like me before, have little or no idea about this incredible life-force energy that resides within us all, just waiting to be activated, to bring us to life, unlock our true potential and guide us through our lives with passion, love and integrity.

But don’t take my word for it.

If I learned anything from my trip away it’s that you cannot intellectualize spirituality. You can only experience it. We must go forth on our journeys of self-discovery in large part alone, as no teacher, book, podcast or documentary can answer the questions about our true purpose, our true power and our true nature.

Those answers lie within—in that vast expanse of darkness behind closed eyes; in the rise and fall of our chests as we breathe prana (life force) into our beings; in the stillness of our minds when we shut out external concepts, beliefs and habits that control our current plane of existence. In the peace and joy of discovering our innate goodness and that of others. In the challenging but overwhelmingly rewarding journey to the Self.

I should add a cautionary word here, as from what I have discovered since having my own experience, activating Kundalini can be problematic, scary and even dangerous.

In fact some people report losing their minds and experiencing excruciating physical pain if they are not ready. It would be wise therefore to have a support system in place (an experienced Kundalini yoga teacher for example) before undertaking any intense energy work. And if you are completely new to yoga and meditation then I can only advise to go slow—very slow.

Speaking from my own experience of the initial Kundalini rising event, aside from the joy and wonder I felt during and after, I was also left shocked and quite afraid. Had I not been in a safe and nurturing environment (a very spiritual area of India surrounded by close, non-judgmental friends and teachers), I could quite possibly have lost my mind. It’s a frightening thing to have your world turned upside down and to realize that everything you thought to be true may not be at all.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be talking about Kundalini and that we shouldn’t all be taking (gentle) steps to get closer to our true Selves by connecting with this powerful life force that resides within us all. Because, in my humble opinion, the evolution of our own consciousness is by far the most important journey we will embark on in our lives.

If you want to find out more about Kundalini I recommend reading Ben’s article as a very good starting point. I also came across this YouTube video recently which I find very relatable and true to my understanding of this energy and how we should be “using” it.

Beyond that the internet is your oyster, nature is your playground, and your yoga mat is your best friend.

 

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

 

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Author: Olivia Wood

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photos: Author’s Own, Vinoth Chandar/Flickr, lucyrfisher/Flickr

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anonymous Feb 16, 2016 10:46pm

wow thank you, this is the first time i've ever posted on a message board but this was special for me to read. my kundalini awakened in india 3 weeks ago on a meditation course but I only found out about kundalini a few days ago – whole world turned upside down! My experience was very similar to yours, I'm young, live in london, work hard, ambitious, atheist but went through quite a stressful time, took certain drugs a bit the last couple of years which opened my mind. Then started sorting stuff out – meditation, yoga, therapy, being with nature – things changing for the better. Came to india, felt so at home and this happened and has hit me for six – your positivity and the way you surrendered to the power seem to be the way – the only way. Since I found out I've been trying to find a suitable person or guru who can give me some guidance – do you know of anyone or anywhere? I'm in south at the moment but after reading this think i'll head up to rishikesh. Big love for sharing this, will – I dive in! (cautiously)

anonymous Nov 23, 2015 9:17pm

Olivia,

Thanks so much for sharing your story! I have only recently identified my own kundalini awakening and am on a path of discovery. A year ago, I was at the lowest point in my life – having been diagnosed with PTSD, and battling depression and anxiety. In addition to medication and therapy, I had started yoga and meditation, and then found myself inexplicably drawn to reiki. During my first reiki session, I experienced a physical and spiritual event which was as transformational for my reiki master as it was for me. I could not define it at the time, but now know it to be a kundalini awakening. It changed EVERYTHING and I now realize that every step and every experience in my life has brought me to exactly where I need to be. And I understand my purpose in this life. But it is a very small circle of people that can truly understand, so you have my deepest appreciation for opening this topic for discussion. Sending light and love.

anonymous Nov 15, 2015 12:42pm

A lot of this is familiar. I went through my own awakening as a consequence of emotional trauma just over 16 years ago, and the initial few days were a rollercoaster ride. I had very little idea of what was happening to me, although through the weirdness of it all I felt that I was going through some kind of positive transformational experience.

In hindsight, I should have kept a journal, but one of my initial symptoms was a restlessness that denied me the ability to focus long enough to read even a newspaper article. Reading this brought back a *lot* of memories, and I'm immensely pleased that you've had the courage to be able to talk openly about the experience. I'm still not fully at that stage, although my close friends and family were present to watch the train wreck and transfiguration as it happened.

Now, I'm working my way through the unfinished business of the things I wasn't able to take on board at the time, and getting to accept my mystical nature (sometimes difficult for those of us who grow up in an overwhelmingly materialistic and rationalist culture).

anonymous Oct 17, 2015 2:11pm

Hi Olivia. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for being authentic. I felt shivers throughout my whole body. The energy in your writing is still strong 🙂 Much Blessings.

anonymous Jun 15, 2015 6:36pm

Extremely Brilliant Olivawood. I simply loved the way you have expressed your trueself in terms of experiencing such an amazing journey. I am also going through tough phase of my life with all negitivity around me and it is time for me to take up the right path. Any advice on how to start would be greatly appreciated. I have been spiritual from my childhood and I don’t believe in this materialistic Race (in the current world). but at the same time, I am confined to thoughts and not able to focus on experiancing it in true sense (actions, implement) to attain it. Thanks for your inner self being explained so nicely. Made me think for myself to face “Maya” boldly and come out of it. Need your help.

anonymous May 18, 2015 3:30pm

Olivia,

Is there a way to contact you directly? I’m extremely interested to learn more about this.

anonymous May 14, 2015 7:07am

Hi Olivia, thank you. I had the Kudalini awakening also (about 8 months ago) via meditation. It was completely unintended. I was going through similar things that you were going through it seems before your awakening, but I live in Southern California, and didn't know much about spirituality, and I was alone when it happened. Thanks for writing about your experience. I completely relate.
I had no idea what was happening to me when it happened to me, because I was rather new at meditating and completely unaware of what even chakras were. After the experience, I had to run to this local shaman for an explanation and help..I didn't even know what a shaman was I didn't know what in the world had just happened to me, and the energy flow was off tilt. I had an almost permanent third eye tingling for weeks after, and many other important changes. Eight months since the experience, I am still blown away. Since that day, great things have happened in my world. I am pretty sure that I will never be the same as I was before this experience. Thank you. Still in India?

anonymous May 6, 2015 5:19pm

Thanks for sharing your story and thanks to others for sharing too. I used to be the biggest skeptic in the world about everything relating to anything 'spiritual'. In the last couple of years I slowly gained an interest in meditation, yoga and Kundalini yoga, although didn't practice any of these very regularly. Several months ago after a huge amount of stress and insomnia while studying for my masters, the day after I finished I started to go through this type of experience. I am still not confident enough to call it a Kundalini awakening because I'm still experiencing lots of anxiety and the emotional roller coaster that others have talked about. Since that time the indescribable feelings of bliss, love and connectedness have lessened dramatically but I hope by taking things very slowly I can gradually return to that place. I can still hear the old skeptic in me sniggering at the fact I am writing on a website like this and viewing what I went through as a spiritual experience (rather than just a break-down of sorts) but I have to be honest with myself as I am now, and accept that the experience has opened my mind. In many ways I want to turn my back on these realisations as they are so overwhelming but thankfully one of my close friends is very open to lots of ideas of this nature and she has taken all I said very seriously and helped me explore it a little bit, although she admits she finds it hard to understand. She was the only person I felt I could talk to and if it hadn't been for her I feel I'd have really lost my mind and never returned to being 'grounded'.
Your comments about finding a balance ring very true with me, I think is what I am trying to do at the moment, as in many ways I still feel shattered by the impact of the experience. I have just started a new Kundalini yoga class and once I have settled in I hope to talk to the teacher about what I experienced and ask for some adivce, but the old part of me feels embarrassed and fears even she will think it's a bit crazy and just 'humour' me – I know this won't be the case but this is all so bizarre for me I find it hard to imagine anyone else taking this seriously and actually understanding the truth of it. Reading the stories of others helps give me some confidence. Thanks.

anonymous Apr 16, 2015 5:50pm

Check out this buddha artwork interpretation of a Kundalini Awakening by Jalai Lama. Pretty Incredible.. .http://awakeningvisions.com/art/kundalini-awakening/

anonymous Mar 6, 2015 10:12am

Wow! Thanks for sharing so openly, this was a great read! It solidifies what I have been experiencing……

anonymous Jan 11, 2015 4:12pm

Thanks for sharing your experience, I had my kundalini awakening 2 1/2 years ago. It was an incredibly life changing experience, and brought with it moments of pure bliss and peace and love, but at the same time was a terrifying emotional roller coaster. The only thing that has kept me sane is being able to read others experiences online, because the few people in my life I've told couldn't possibly understand and thought I had lost my marbles.

anonymous Dec 10, 2014 10:14pm

This article really resonated with me. Over the past year I have been experiencing severe anxiety and depression, and only VERY recently have come to beginning meditation occasionally and doing some basic yoga at home. But I am not where near understanding it all, especially the concept of Kundalini energy. However when you spoke of your experience and feeling like somebody had 'snapped their fingers', I began to feel this way a few months ago. I literally feel like I have stepped over in to this whole new enlightened state and have been questioning every aspect of conformity in society and also feeling extremely content with myself. I really related to what you were speaking about, but how do I know if this is what you are speaking of when you talk about Kundalini? I have read that article, can you recommend any very introductory texts that would really explain the experience. I think it would really help me to understand my own. Thank you for the amazing read!

    anonymous Dec 14, 2014 12:46pm

    Hi Cat. Thanks for sharing your story. yes it sounds like we are on similar paths. I don't profess to be any kind of expert but what I feel (and have been advised) is that it's best not to try to understand it all really. The more we can let go of our need to control and intellectualise things, the more free we become to feel and to listen to our inner voice. That's really what the energy taught me – to trust my intuition. In terms of texts, as I said I really haven't read any! This is a website I've been recommended – http://kundaliniguide.com/. Perhaps that's a good start. I think the best thing really though is to take care of yourself, listen to your intuition and try to let go.. Take care x

anonymous Dec 9, 2014 9:54am

Wow!! Thank you for sharing your experience. Soulful searching it something that I have felt drawn towards a lot lately. You give me inspiration and desire to pursue it.

    anonymous Dec 10, 2014 6:54am

    Thanks Linda. Wishing you well on your journey x

anonymous Dec 8, 2014 7:07pm

The Divine Universe prepares Everyone to meet The Divine Universe…for the meeting of Shiva & Shakthi …WTHIN TO BECOME WITHOUT…to reflect on, quote, "beautifully connected series of portals, dimensions, and forms", unquote…The Divine Universe…Our Guru is Within. Good Luck. God Bless.

anonymous Dec 8, 2014 7:34am

Wow!!! Thank you so much for this awesome article – I am really glad that you followed your intution to share this with the world because it resonated very deeply with me! Actually, I read it about five times and then sent it to the people who supported and nurtured me as I went through my awakening in December of 2012. Our experiences are so amazingly similar except I was not in India when it happened and it was anything but slow, so I'm pretty sure a few of my loved ones thougth I had lost my mind (especially since I was not at all spiritual prior to activating my Kundalini). Now, I know that the rough patches happened because you can't intellectualize spirituality and I am so excited to know that there is at least one other person out there who is unintentionally spiritual, aware of their purpose, and passionate about helping others achieve similar enlightenment. Thank you so much! Sat nam!

    anonymous Dec 9, 2014 3:07am

    Thanks Patty! It's really amazing to get this feedback and support and realise how many others are on similar paths. It's good to share! Olivia x

anonymous Dec 8, 2014 7:26am

Thank you for sharing. Wishing you the best on your journey.

anonymous Dec 8, 2014 6:23am

Thank you for this article. I’ve experienced the same awakening when I was in Kauai. Ever since the experience, in my heart I knew it was real, but feared that I could be going crazy or people will think I’m crazy. I do yearn to share what happened with someone who understands. So, again, thank you.

    anonymous Dec 9, 2014 3:05am

    Hi Regina. Thanks for your comment. I completely understand. That's a fear I had / have too. I really had no idea about Kundalini, nor did I have many (or any?!) openly 'spiritual' people in my life prior to this year, so it's all so new and of course overwhelming and confusing! For sure we are not crazy though. All the best on your journey x

anonymous Dec 8, 2014 5:03am

Your article is so spot on and almost exact in your description of your life experience to what I am and have been watching unfold in front of my very eyes with my soul, or that is how I have come to view this bubbling lava of enlighted thinking that I have been experiencing for about a year now. I have turned in fear back to old ways many times due to being to being so overwhelmed with the realization that, I KNOW NOTHING, in the way I thought I did including any definition of myself.

    anonymous Dec 9, 2014 3:03am

    Thanks Jeannine. I like your description of the 'bubbling lava of enlightened thinking' – absolutely! I'm sure not everyone has quite the sudden, explosive experience I had, which is a good thing as quite overwhelming! Slow is good. Finding a balance and staying grounded really important I am finding. Yes, we know nothing! Olivia x

anonymous Dec 7, 2014 10:02pm

All I can say is, Thank You! We all have our own path to how we have come to being awakened but reading this article has confirmed that I am not alone in feeling so new to it all. Loved every bit of it, some parts I read more than once. I book marked it as well so I can come back to it!!!!

    anonymous Dec 9, 2014 2:59am

    Thank you Kristin. So glad what I wrote is helpful for others!

anonymous Dec 7, 2014 8:02pm

A fantastic article! Kundalini yoga is amazing. Thank you!

anonymous Dec 7, 2014 8:00pm

OMG! Thank you Olivia for sharing with an open heart. I could feel the love pouring of your words into my soul. I am also in this journey, having reached a peak moment in my life where the "norm" is being defied, where marriage, a job, "friends"…all is just not enough. I'm a trained yoga instructor and I meditate regularly. I read voraciously, but, as you wrote, it can't be understood through the intellect. Kundalini must be experiential.
I am also a trained designer and my name is also Olivia. These past months, year almost, the Universe has been giving me signs that I need to step into this journey FULL ON, no restraints, trusting, faithfully.
I am very grateful to read your post, to know that even though I, myself, am unclear as to WHAT I AM MISSING, I want to believe I can experience this blissful state of kundalini awakening and allow it to guide me into my life's purpose.
How wonderful to know it happens! That people have experienced it and are paving the road for others, like me to join.
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. <3
In Peace and Love,
Olivia

    anonymous Dec 9, 2014 2:57am

    Hi Olivia. Thanks so much for your comment. It's amazing to hear that others are going through these changes too in their own ways. Although we don't have the answers if we trust and embrace the evolution going on (inside and out) amazing things can happen! All the best on your journey. Love, Olivia x

Experiencia Kundalini Jan 4, 2018 9:56pm

my body seemed to defy the law of gravity, I felt as if it floated on the floor, I had absolutely no weight and I began to wake up with full consciousness even in the hours of sleep. I discovered what is nirvana, but I knew nothing of it at the time, I know today because I read several books on the subject and kundalini, I missed the opportunity of enlightenment because I wanted to hear from her about my ex girlfriend, I looked for a girl who was friends with my ex girlfriend and I had already had an affair with her before my courtship (at the time we spent together when we were together), the result I got carried away by the sensuality and made a fun with it, we did not even get it, but I ejaculated and feel the energy coming down the column, I was even warned but above the hour as if a thunder spoke in my mind "if you do this maybe you will not recover in this life" but I did not give importance, result lost the lighting, kundalini came down, today I have 46 years, I am well experienced sexually, but that does not interest me anymore, only enlightenment interests me, my enlightenment was at age 25, and I'm ready again to try the spiritual ascent, It's strange that after a decade that my ex girlfriend ended the courtship with me, we re-married and married, but I have to admit I no longer feel love for her, but I still continue with her because I have 3 daughters and I intend to light up anyway , because I feel it is an inner commitment of my soul. I feel that I am ready and soon I will enlighten myself! I am ready for the ascent of the kundalini again, and as soon as I have been conquered and settled in the cosmic consciousness I will share with all who wish, at the moment I am going through the dark night of the soul, it is already a few years, it is a state of dullness, sense and life does not taste, but I remain firm, waiting for the awakening again, I have meditated for 15 years, I am a vegetarian and I have become extremely strict with myself

Experiencia Kundalini Jan 4, 2018 9:10pm

to dance normally, but the girl who was in front of me her hair got stuck in the buttons of my shirt and she tried to detach and caught my attention so harshly and I replied with authority that she who came very far behind, I got undone the interlacing of her hair in the buttons of my shirt and she continued to dance in front of me, she was pretty pretty, I suddenly feel the wave of deafening heat and a vigorous erection with a force of a giant magnet, as if a volcano I wanted to erupt, not to mention the feeling of lust, the desire to possess the girl, and to feel an inner voice telling me to just observe, that's what I did and gave me an infinite desire to say a prayer right there in that place, I prayed to God that I would never betray the infinite love I felt for my ex-girlfriend, tears came down from my eyes, as it was in the middle of the night no one noticed, ti something exploded in a violent force on the genitals like a volcano and rose to my heart and felt a gust of light opening in my chest, when I left the disco I felt something strange and special screaming inside of me that I had won, I took my car and I went home to sleep with the feeling that something extraordinary had happened, coming home, as I lay in bed as I prayed, I felt an energy being sucked from the base of the spine in a force and pressure from another world, a heat as if it were burning my genitals. As I prayed I felt something coming up the column with a deafening noise, something wonderful and frightening, but I surrendered to God at that moment when I felt the energy reach the base of the neck I felt incredible lightness in the body, I fell asleep immediately, the other day I woke up with an infinite joy, it seemed that everything was good, I felt a joy that seemed to explode at any moment and an infinite love for the people, I walked and it seemed that I did not have corporal weight, I felt like an inflatable balloon to take flight, in that same one day I went with my brother to get my father in his work I was already 25 years old, on the back we were listening to a soft instrumental music in the car, when suddenly I looked at the window for some horses loose on the ground near the road, just feel a love infinite by them and suddenly I was the horses and they were me, and I saw that I was everything at that moment, that was on Monday, I continued to feel a love radiating from my breast spontaneously to everyone and everything, when I went to take a shower, I took a cold shower, the instant the water fell on me, I felt in the chakras she fell on them, I could feel all the chakras, I had no thoughts and a sensation of unity, when I went on Wednesday, I went to attend a lecture at the spiritual center I attended, but as the speaker spoke, I just wanted to hug people, it actually seemed like I was in another dimension, when I finished I went to find a staff who distributed soup to needy people, got there, saw a ragged child and who was stinking for not taking a shower for several days, made me want to pick it up on my lap, but my mind went into action saying, "this child is cracking "and my true self," I said I'm no different from her, I have to eradicate any feelings of superiority "and I picked her up, and I started to play with her and pointing at the moon I was talking to her moon, moon ,,, and suddenly an infinite joy took possession of me ,,, and by the soles of my feet I felt millions of volts flooding me, I was pure energy, when I came back look at the moon I was her, and it was everything ,, it was the whole universe ,,, just disappeared ,,, there was no longer me ,, a sense of humility and infinite power, at the same time as a love that seemed to explode took care of me, when I got home, I simply fell asleep consciously, it was as if on the other side I was in unity also without center scattered throughout the cosmos, when I woke up, I noticed that the sounds of the birds had an incredible harmony I was the sounds, I started to listen to the divine sounds, I was them also at the same time that I listened, and had no more mind, huge thoughts of pure intelligence began to thunder in my mind, knew everything instantly but without intellect, at the same time I felt the unity of intelligence ,, interpen I was in this state of love, union with the cosmos 3 months, I had no time, past, future ,,, or even I ,, I was the being ,, , the name you want to give, and I felt an unlimited respect for everything, since my body became the body of the ant, my father, mother, people I've never seen and distant planets ,,,, can not explain the mystical experience in words seemed that I did not exist and existed at the same time,

Experiencia Kundalini Jan 4, 2018 8:32pm

one day kissing I felt something terrifying, I felt she had destroyed me in a past life and I felt a deep hatred for her, but it happened in a matter of seconds and I had the intuition that I should love her deeply and that's what I did, my love for it only grew, but at the same time that it grew for the people, people I did not even know, animals and even the rocks, my night prayers began to feel tears coming down and a greater love for people, animals, I felt the energy coming out of the my chest, another thing that began to happen was that I began to focus on my forehead, more and more when I prayed, because I had read in some spiritual book that light annihilated the psychic bacs of the mind and that they came from past bad lives and that it was necessary to incinerate them through the light, I began to pray concentrating on my forehead and I felt a strong energy in the forehead in a point between the eyebrows as if it were a coal buried in my the funny thing is that the pain did not diminish, it did increase, but I grew stronger inside, I began to feel a walking fortress, I no longer complained inwardly of the enormous pain that I felt in the head, in fact I began to thank, it was as if he were rescuing something, by that time I was already studying everything that appeared in terms of spiritual books, spiritist, yoga, etc, in an endless thirst for knowledge, but I felt that I studied a lot that was very superficial, had not yet I read nothing about kundalini and how its mechanism worked and how it worked in relation to sex with love, in my courtship we continued the sarres and tried to fuck, but I could not and she also became nervous, but I touched her more and more with veneration and she she confessed that she felt so much love for me that she was afraid, she confessed that after we came back when I kissed her she felt her heart burn in flames, as something had opened up, n the same time I learned that she also activated her heart chakra, we continued a time of dating, but I continued to feel that the courtship would not go forward and that I should prepare myself for the moment of rupture, and that's what I did, I was living in a way that felt love leave my chest for everyone and for everything, I felt the energy even, in the spiritual center that frequented from my hands emerge a very strong energy that I felt was used for healing, I also began to capture the thoughts of the people, both incarnate and disembodied, it was as if I knew in essence what people were thinking and feeling, my head began to weigh as if I weighed 1 ton, it was as if my whole Being were inside my head, I continued to study and applying everything in myself at the same time that I desired all good to people, I began to feel an infinite humility, treated all beings, even the ants with affection and love, sometimes felt a light inv but I could not distinguish what it was, when there was a break in the courtship, I felt an endless sadness, but nevertheless I felt a greater and greater love for her and for all beings, I felt that I had opened a hole in the my chest, in a lecture at the spiritual center I attended, something strange happened, but I did not give much importance at the time, the moment I made a burning prayer blessing people, the world, all who suffer, I felt that something was simply coupled in the base of my spine with an overwhelming strength but it did not hurt me, after 2 weeks I had the courtship ended I went to a nightclub with a friend, but the night before before sleeping (now I could already sleep) I felt that someone an inner voice told me that I was going to be given a rare opportunity, that something great was going to happen, I did was disdain, and I answered inwardly, "what will it be, for I have already gone through so much, as this infinite pain that consumes my head and this moral pain of the heart to have opened a hole in my chest, before going on, I mean that when I slept, it was as if I was awake from the side of there, I felt that I went to many beautiful places and spoke telepathically with entities of light, and also felt as if sounds perpasse by me that I was the sounds that I heard on the side of there, beautiful sounds and harmonics ,, can not explain right, going back to the disco, arriving there I started to dance like a I was behind a young girl dancing a few inches from her buttocks, but without any sense of sensuality, but suddenly I felt an overwhelming force on the genitals and an overwhelming erection along with a fire that looked like a volcano in flames with a pressure that seemed like a giant magnet sucking the energies of the environment and a feeling of enormous luxuria, and wanting to engage that girl in her buttocks, I immediately scared and changed of place, I really felt the energy around, in the other place I came back

Experiencia Kundalini Jan 4, 2018 8:22pm

I'm Brazilian and I do not speak English, I'm using google translator. Real History of Spiritual Enlightenment and Kundalini I will briefly recount what I went through until I came to the direct experience of lighting, in 1991 (I was 19 years old) I suffered a car accident, in which I hit my head, but specifically the forehead on the steering wheel, it was almost 6 years of headache over even sleeping, actually slept only 1 hour a night in the first 4 years, the fact is that this led me to a mental concentration beyond the human to endure the pain, I also entered into a phase of deep reflection on the attachment to matter seen that the car was my mother's and she was suffering because I had hit her car, I just thought it was just matter and nothing else, I did all the medical exams of the time, several specialists, computerized tomography and nothing abnormal was discovered, I also started feeling a kind of massive pressure on the genitals and a twitching of the shore muscles about 15 cm below the nape of the neck and I began to feel as if my body was coming into violent pressure inside, sometimes I felt the pressure so strong on the genitals that I masturbated to relieve the pressure, I also began to feel as if I were sinking on the planet, I began to feel as if I were disconnected from the world, universe, a horrifying sensation, it seemed like a walking stone, I did not feel anything for anyone, it seemed that my heart had completely dried up, I did not feel love for anything or anyone, I started having macabre thoughts, but it was as if a part of me was there watching everything that was happening inside me, in my mind , it seemed that I was fighting in my own mind with an army of millions, every day and I felt myself clearing my own mind all the time, I began to study spiritual books, yoga, and various spiritualist currents and apply the teachings of Jesus and everything I felt which was good for me, I started attending a spiritual center and participating in the works of charity, in that same period I met a girl who did my heart moved, but at the same time I felt that one day she would leave me, I began to feel love for her, something that amazed me because until the moment I did not feel love for anything and for nobody, I felt like a walking robot, and then 1 year of dating she left me, she was already 16 and I was 24, the fact is that we did not talk and I treated her like a goddess, even the way to touch her. talk to her, but we did not move, in time she and I began to exchange caresses but accentuated, more ardentes with horny in the popular, but I felt that of my chest leave love growing for her and also felt the love coming out of his it was as if I were to absolve her magnetism, her energy, at the same time I did charity work at the center as I distributed soup to the needy, I applied the gospel to myself, I became a vegetarian, and I began to watch over my words, my thought was still in the interior dialogue, it was as if I were clarifying another being within myself, which became more meek, docile, I tried to get rid of the pain that consumed my head, in a state of silent despair, after 1 I was very sensitive, and I was very nervous, I could not fuck her, I just failed, I did not have an erection (because my body was being transformed inside I felt energies if I seeing inside my body and as if I was undergoing a kind of rejuvenation and biological evolution, felt the internal organs being redone), we made other attempts, but even with erection was very nervous and had premature ejaculation, was capturing energies to the environment and she ended up leaving me, after 3 days walking and acting like a zombie, I heard in my ear in my bed before saying a word to FORGIVE HER, at the same moment I prayed with all my heart for she and all of humanity, thick tears streamed down my face and my heart exploded like an atomic bomb, I felt a great deal of energy shifting from the sexual chakra to the heart, I also felt how layers were breaking inside my heart and I felt a presence inside the living target breast inside me, at the same moment I felt that two beings appeared in my room with a feeling of infinite love for me, one of them touched my forehead and felt an energy flooding me and I fell asleep immediately after years without practically sleeping, it was my first night of sleep about 8 hours after years, flying me to a diaphanous place and there I talked with a female entity that I felt that it was illuminated and told me that she would come back, when I woke up the other day something inside me had changed, I felt love for the people and I set a deadline of 10 days for her to come back, which happened in fact, but the courtship no longer was the same, felt that soon she would leave me definitely,

Parthvi Lal Dec 16, 2016 5:31pm

Hi Olivia, Can you tell me the location and the organization who helped you attain the Kundilini activation?

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Olivia Wood

Olivia Wood is a former digital and social media professional, who early this year left her London career and life behind, packed her bags and went to India on a journey of healing and self discovery. Still in South East Asia, she is blogging regularly about her personal experience of healing through mindfulness, yoga, meditation and other alternative, holistic approaches to health and wellbeing. Her ambition is to combine her passions of writing, yoga and healing therapies with her digital and social media networking skills, to build an online community of healers and people seeking healing. Her ultimate intention is to lead, share, and hopefully inspire in others, a life of love, light and happiness. Follow Olivia’s personal story on Healing Beauty and join the Healing Network community on Facebook.