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January 11, 2015

For My Child: Some Truths About Love.

simpleinsomnia/Flickr

“Love is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention towards other things it will come and softly sit on your shoulder.” ~ Unknown

Although you will learn your own lessons throughout your life, I want you to read this very carefully.

And, although I am not always right, there are some truths about love that just can’t be wrong.

Love Hurts.

Yep, damn it can hurt. Even when it is the most divine love, you will still feel wounded at times. There will be moments when you will feel frustrated, in pain and confused.

You will never fully understand the workings of another’s mind—don’t try too hard. Concentrate on yourself, find where the pain is coming from and listen to what is it telling you. When it hurts, look inside for the answers. You will find them.

Sometimes the one you love will not have meant any harm. But, please remember, when love hurts intentionally and deliberately to inflict emotional scars, you always have a choice. It is up to you and you alone whether you choose to stay or walk, fast and far away—the latter will always be my preferred choice.

Love Means Letting Go.

Even if it doesn’t mean walking away from the relationship, there are still a lot of things to let go of. Let go of expectations, let go of baggage, let go of fear, let go of anything that may be holding you back. Love does not need to be held and it does not need to be crushed, simply allow it and you will benefit more. You will see things clearer and you will have freedom of choice. Don’t grasp on to anything other than each moment it offers.

And if you feel it is time to let go of the love, hold your head high, do not wallow, take deep breaths and let it go.

Love is Not Just a Word.

Just because someone tells you they love you does not mean that they mean it, and vice versa. Love is a feeling, an emotion, and one that causes us to want the very best for ourselves and for the other person. Show your love, feel your love and recognise the signs that it is being reciprocated. Love is the most beautiful experience you can have, ensure that it is felt and not just spoken of.

Being In a Relationship Does Not Equate to Love.

Recognise the signs of co-dependency, settling and convenience. Do not stay just because you have spent so much time with someone. Your life is too precious and love is something to treasure; go, seek, find it—it will be worth the search. Better still, sit back, date yourself, enjoy your own company and love will one day arrive.

Love Is Not Jealous.

While jealousy may co-exist alongside love, it is not the love that is causing the jealousy. It is insecurity and low self-esteem. Do not excuse and do not make excuse for jealousy under the veil of love. Possessive and jealous love will crush your wings, whether you are on the giving or receiving end. We cannot live to our full potential within a relationship when we are manipulated, fuelled and controlled by negative energies. Deal with the jealousy as something separate from love. Love is a positive emotion, it fills us with joy—anything else that creeps in that is not for our best is not associated with love.

Love is Not Always Compatible.

While love may come naturally, a relationship cannot be forced. If there are too many conflicts and complexities it will cause tensions and resentment within relationship, and, sadly, it sometimes means saying goodbye. Give it your best shot, but before you get in too deep, recognise if there is potential for a united and fluid communion. If not, you may continue to love, but you can also release from one another.

Say thank you, be grateful for your time together and then free yourself so better things can come your way.

Love Doesn’t Have All The Answers.

Sometimes it just won’t work out. You may not understand why at the time, but when you look back, in time, it will make perfect sense. Other times, there just isn’t any apparent reason. You can go over the details a million times—it just wasn’t meant to be. Incompatibility, bad timing, differing values, there are so many excuses and reasons we can feed to ourselves. So don’t fret, don’t worry, accept it for what it was and keep going forward. Sometimes you will be the one not knowing why you want to end things; if it isn’t right, it isn’t right—sometimes it really is that simple.

Love is a Mirror.

It will be held up to you and it will force you to look; if you look away, it will appear again. The light will get brighter and harder to bear until one day, you will look right in and recognise the reflection.

Love will reflect straight back at you. If the love is not pretty, look inside—who are you resonating with and why? We will seek the love we think we deserve. You are amazing, special, unique and deserving, absolutely always deserving of true love.

Look in the mirror and accept what it shows. If you don’t like it, figure out why, what part of you thinks you deserve this? When you believe you’re not worthy of genuine love, you’re fooling yourself, tricking yourself and denying yourself the beautiful benefits of a genuine love. If love is toxic, remove the mirror, take steps back then remove yourself.

Love Will Not Complete You.

You are already a whole person and so are they. You should not need another person to make you feel complete. If you do, there will be other issues. Take time out for yourself, find out who you are, what you like, dislike, what makes you happy and sad. Spend time alone and get to know yourself.

Let love compliment you and be a bonus in your life, not something that you depend upon. Share your completeness with each other, let two people be two people, not two halves making one. Bend and compromise, but don’t sell yourself out as true love will never want or expect any less than the very best version of your self that you can be.

Love will mean finding your own way, there will be many twists and turns and sharp bends, but stay on your own road, walk your own truth, and if anyone forces you to sway from the path, always question why and ask of their intentions.

If love takes its time, enjoy all the time you have to yourself. Don’t try to hurry it, as love cannot be rushed.
Be prepared, but be aware, love can often trick us and repeat old patterns and can feel familiar, but it doesn’t mean it’s right.

Question, be curious, don’t be too cautious. Your intuition will tell you all that you need to know. Listen to it.

The right person will come along when you least expect it. Don’t gamble with love, don’t play games with it or test it or push it too far.

Be grateful when it arrives and when it leaves, continue to be grateful.

Love can teach us more about our selves and life than we can ever have hoped to discover.

Let it breathe, let it grow and don’t take your eye off it. Love should not be expected or taken for granted, it should be cherished and explored at every turn.

Love it, love to love and love to be loved. Be love and you will receive love.

But always, absolutely always, know you’re forever loved.

 

 

 

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Author: Alex Sandra Myles

Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: simpleinsomnia/Flickr

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