January 4, 2015

How to Win Back the Love Relationship You’re About to Lose.

couple in bed 

Eleditor’s note: Astrology isn’t a religion. We’re not sure it’s a science, either. It’s magic, maybe. But, as with feng shui, say, things affect things. So as long as we don’t go blaming our problems on the stars, as long as we assume responsibility for our own actions…well, hell, a little auspicious coincidence and applicable wisdom can’t hurt. And so, with that grain of salt…enjoy!

There comes a time in every relationship when you decide that it’s necessary to re-evaluate how happy it makes you and how well it satisfies your needs.

That time occurs when the planet Saturn transits your 7th House of Intimate Partnerships.

For others who have acted badly in their relationship, Saturn in this House is a wake-up call offering them one last opportunity: a chance to win back the relationship they’re about to lose.

When this transit occurs in your life, you’ll evaluate your love life, your marriage, or any committed relationship you’re in and take responsibility for whatever it has become. That means whether you’ve been a victim or the offender, you’re now accountable for your behavior in your relationship.

For example, a woman had causally dated a man for years and her partner had grown impatient and finally said to her, “Either let’s commit to each other and get married or end our relationship.” Another client didn’t spend much time in his relationship, always working or playing golf with his buddies. Now that his wife was very ill, he needed to accept greater responsibility for taking care of her.

Saturn’s transit through your 7th House requires you to make some adjustments in your relationship. You’ll experience growth by re-defining and re-structuring the essential needs you have in your love life. The client who was not ready to commit after years of a dating relationship may have to make an adjustment to being single again or accept the responsibility of making a marriage commitment. The man who spent so much time away from his wife will be required to restructure his work and time golfing in order to accept the responsibility of taking care of his wife. The responsibility that you must accept requires you to re-define your needs and re-consider your priorities.

You’ll learn lessons and be tested in terms of how flexible and compromising you can be with your partner. Have you ever heard someone say, “It’s not easy being married.” These are the lyrics to the song that Saturn will sing to you, if you’re in a committed relationship. Close relationships like marriage or business partnerships become demanding and difficult, requiring a great deal of effort on your part to maintain. Saturn will constantly test them. What’s happening is that you’re put in a position where added responsibilities burden your relationship, requiring you to give more, not less. You’re called to unselfishly sacrifice some of your freedom and even make some adjustment that may not be comfortable.

Saturn’s influence in this House can produce tensions, frustrations, and pressures in marriage as well as in business partnerships. These energies inevitably lead to confrontations that force you to examine your relationship so you can determine whether it satisfies your mutual needs and expectations. You may have been staying in an unhappy relationship out of convenience, however, now the status quo cannot be maintained.

You must face the music.

For this reason, many relationships end because they demand more attention and effort than both partners believe they’re worth. This Saturn’s transit will test the mettle of any relationship, no matter how happy it has been. This is why transiting Saturn in the 7th House is often a time when a marriage may break up and end in divorce.

Be aware that even if your marriage is solid and going well, you may still have to confront flaws or issues in your partnership. However, this can actually be a very positive “wake-up” call allowing you to make needed changes that will stabilize your relationship so that it thrives and is much stronger than before. One marriage partner decided it was time to stop being a workaholic in order to spend more time with a spouse. Another partner realized she was no longer in love and must try to adjust to that reality. Yet another spouse was caught being unfaithful and must choose between marriage counseling or divorce.

Saturn’s influence requires you to re-define, re-structure and even re-evaluate your current relationship. If this is done in a positive way, where both partner’s concerns are addressed then a good relationship will be even better.

Perhaps a compromise is reached such as, “We’re agreed, from now on, I’ll make sure to be home from work by 6 p.m.” or “Let’s agree to go to couples counseling and work on saving our marriage.” The partner who came to the realization that she’s “no longer in love,” must decide if the practical benefits she enjoys from her marriage are enough. If a necessary adjustment cannot be made or a resolution can’t be achieved, then it may be best to let go of the relationship. The cuckolded partner may say, “I m sorry, I am no longer willing to tolerate your infidelities. I want a divorce.”

Makes You Responsible 

Saturn represents karmic law. Or, expressed in other ways: What you sow, you shall reap; what goes around comes around; what you put into something is what you get out of it. Sir Isaac Newton (another astrologer, by the way) states in his Third Law of Motion: “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

Or, as stated by Larry Schwimmer: “Payback is a bitch!”

So, if you’ve behaved badly in your relationship, this will be the time when you’ll be held accountable and responsible for your actions, even if your past behavior was not noticed or challenged by your partner. For example a dissatisfied partner may be confrontative and say, “You’re no longer thoughtful and romantic. You use to buy me flowers and remember my birthday” or “You use to care enough to listen and show interest in my feelings.”

During this time you’ll find that limitations or shortcomings that have caused you to be less than an ideal partner will be revealed either by your partner, or even by circumstances that compel you to improve your behavior. Here are some examples, “You never tell me you love me any more,” or “I’ve just been diagnosed with cancer,” or “I’m calling to inform you that your spouse has been in a bad accident.”

Unfortunately, you may not even be aware of behaving inappropriately in your relationship. Saturn in the 7th House gives you the opportunity to change your ways because it often brings a crisis into your relationship where you’re forced to face the problem that exists. Hopefully, your sense of responsibility towards your spouse or partner will bring with it a deep desire to bring resolution to the upset that has occurred. Of course, some partners aren’t responsible or willing to change inappropriate conduct in their relationship.

Saturn has a way of bringing their behavior to the light of day. Often, a partner who’s engaged in improper behavior will be exposed during Saturn’s pass through their 7th House.

This transit has coincided with many an unfaithful spouse getting caught cheating. They were outed when their spouse saw evidence of their infidelity such as lipstick on their handkerchief, intimate and personal text messages on their phone, or unusual hotel charges on their monthly credit card statement. These are examples of how Saturn brings about circumstances that can lead to upsetting confrontations in a person’s relationship. The ultimate purpose is to cause a re-examination of the relationship in order to either resolve the root problem or let the relationship go, if the partners can’t come to terms with it.

This is judgment day for many relationships. It’s a time of reckoning and taking responsibility. If you (or your partner) are open to making the necessary changes, you could win back the relationship you’re about to lose.


Is this your year for Saturn to bring a major change to your relationship? Find out if Saturn (or other transits) are affecting your 7th House of Partnership by going to the to the Free Transit Calculator and entering your birth date. And, if you’re curious to learn more about your personal Horoscope in 2015 and what it says about your love relationships, career, investments and health in: Order your customized Report:  Your Horoscope & Future in 2015.



Relephant Read: 

How to Love Better: Mindfulness in Relationships. 


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Author: Larry Schwimmer 

Editor: Renee Picard 

Photo: Tina Franklin at Flickr 





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