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January 22, 2015

I’m Not Afraid to Miss You.

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When I long for you, when my heart cries out for yours—I know it’s just another facet of the delectable, divine, dark-chocolaty goodness of our love.

I’m not afraid to miss you.

Don’t get me wrong darling—when you’re near, I feel like I’m bathing in sweet candied caramel. My body relaxes into a luscious pile of peaceful contentment and I melt into you, becoming one with you.

Our devotion is undeniable.

Our love is delicious, soulful, passionate and wise.

My heart trusts your heart—that’s why I’m not afraid to miss you.

My heart understands your heart—that’s why I love missing you.

Yes.

I love to miss you, darling.

I love when you’re away and I can feel only me.

I love stretching my soul in unbroken silence, sipping a spicy red wine and submerging my tired skin into a frothy, rose-scented bubble bath.

I love feeling the lack of you.

I love seeing your empty spot on the couch, your abandoned coffee cup, your silent guitar propped up against the wall, your mismatched socks scattered across the bedroom floor.

I love rolling vanilla-jasmine-mimosa perfume oil on the insides of my wrists, rubbing them together, then liberally smearing the scented deliciousness on the nape of my neck, just for me.

I love listening to Sarah McLachlan sing “Building a Mystery” over and over again, while I light half a dozen candles and get lost in a steady stream of poetry, uninterrupted.

I love sitting alone, sipping lemon-ginger tea from my red mug, savoring the tart spiciness, and closing my eyes to enjoy extra long inhales and exhales.

I love catching up with my thoughts and emotions, allowing my heart to blossom sweetly in the spaciousness of solitude.

I love showering alone, smelling the soap that reminds me of you—sea-salt and pine— bringing me back to wistful adventures and salty passionate kisses.

I love taking over the entire bed, hogging the covers, and being just a little afraid of the dark as I drift off into dreamworld solo.

I love seeing your sweet texts saying you’ll be home soon—with a smiley face—always with a smiley face.

I love perking my ear to the sweet sound of hurried footsteps and the eager clang of your key turning.

I love when you open the door and I see your face again.

I love feeling your chapped yet gentle lips touch mine again.

Yes, it’s such a sweet treat to see you after I’ve been with me.

I’m not afraid to miss you.

Because darling, our love, like any love, is a heartbreakingly beautiful series of hellos and goodbyes. I know it needs both to survive.

Because darling, missing you only fans the flame of our connection. Being away from each other hurts, but it is a sweet bitterness that I have come to cherish.

Because darling, we say hello each morning.

Because darling, we say goodbye each night.

Because darling, we come together and split apart a thousand times each day.

Because darling, you are my true love and I’m not afraid to miss you.

 

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Author: Sarah Harvey

Editor: Travis May

Photo: Jenna Carver/Flickr

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