Menstruation is a difficult topic to broach for many couples. More specifically, sex during menstruation.
From the perspective of many men, the thought of having sex during menstruation is off-putting because it seems “dirty” or abnormal. Many stigmas have been attached to menstruation for thousands of years (most of which were posited by men who didn’t understand the process), so this is hardly a surprise.
Conversely, there are men for whom making love while his partner is “on her moon” is completely natural. For some it’s even a turn-on: It’s called menophilia, and those who partake are known as “blood hounds.”
(Hey, if eyeball licking can be a fetish, so can this. No judgments.)
In the same respect, some women feel “unclean” during their periods—or simply don’t feel the desire for sex while they have their period—while others treat menstruation like any other time of the month.
Wherever you fall on the spectrum is perfectly wonderful. However, let’s debunk a couple of myths: Menstrual blood is not dirty. In fact, it helped to nourish all of us for the first nine months of our lives in utero. Further, menstruation is one of the most normal things a woman can do. Actually, unless she’s menopausal, the absence of her period is abnormal.
But no one can deny that we’re hard-wired to avoid sex during menses. For example, I was horrified when, just days before the very first time I was to have sex with my partner, I began my moon. We’d planned and looked forward to our first night together as ardently as if it were a holiday in Paris…and now this! To make matters worse, I didn’t even know which camp he fell into: Would he, repulsed, cancel our beautiful evening together? Or would he shrug his shoulders good-naturedly and grab some old towels? (To his credit, he fell into the latter camp.)
Still, the “period-sex-is-icky” conditioning can take some effort to reverse. If you’re going to try a little moon-loving for yourself, here are a few insights:
Sex during mensturation can help accelerate her period.
Cool, Right? As it turns out, the act of climaxing mimics the contractions required to expel blood from the uterus. The more she goes at it, the faster the process moves, sometimes reducing the cycle by a day or two.
It’s a cramp stamp.
There is a great benefit to making love at this time of the month as well: Her orgasms can help reduce period cramp pain. Some of this, again, is the physical act of “stretching” the uterine muscles and releasing chemicals in the body that reduce pain. Additionally, cramping chemicals called prostaglandins are spent, thereby alleviating the pain that cramping causes.
Menstrual blood is an amazing lubricant.
Our bodies are really smart.
When we’re aroused (or swimming or taking a bath), our periods often give us a hiatus of a few hours to a full day. Doctors and scientists are not sure why this is, exactly, but it seems no one is really rushing into further research, either. I think a simple thank you to our bodies is sufficient, don’t you?
Wait for it.
If you’re still not sold on the idea of sex during menstruation, you may wish to wait until the latter days of her cycle, when blood flow is decreased. This timing, in combination with the above-mentioned Mystery of the Halted Menses, will help decrease the chances that you’ll notice anything different at all about your regular lovemaking experience.
Post-sex clean-up is fun.
Taking a post-sex shower together is in itself a sweet bonding experience. But post-sex washing during menstruation can be even more intimate. Take extra time in washing and rinsing each other’s bodies. (Bonus: You may also choose to reenact your favorite battle scenes from Game of Thrones. Or, you know, not.)
A few words of warning.
Always remove a tampon before having sex. If you forget, don’t sweat it, but remove it as soon as possible afterwards to avoid the tampon remaining wedged deep in the vagina, possibly causing infection.
Some couples use this time to have unprotected sex, as getting pregnant is less likely. It is still possible for her to get pregnant during her period—although it is rare—so keep this in mind. Couples looking to have children may use this time to practice conception-friendly positions.
As always, happy loving!
“The Guy with the Good Attitude Toward Menstruation.”
Dave Foley, The Kids in the Hall
Author: Rachel Astarte
Editor: Renée Picard
Photo: Wikipedia Commons