February 23, 2015

The Best way to Help Someone without Saying a Word.

holding love hugging couple

I love the feeling I get when I am around people that make me feel like I don’t have to explain myself.

They just get it.

I also love when I have had a bad day and I’m hardly holding it down, about to crumble, and someone has the key.

The key that most look past because it is so incredibly simple. What I love is that it takes us back to the basics. The key that solves many of my problems, 99% of the time, is the comfort that roots back to a genuine embrace.

Sometimes, when I don’t know what else to do other than not fall apart, I just need someone to pick me up, pull me in close and hug me.

Are any of you with me on this?

As we mature we are expected to be well composed when handling tough situations. There are plenty of ways society expects us to deal with negativity, but the biggest one is ignoring it.

Last time I checked, if you ignore something it either dies, remains in it’s current state, grows or rots.

For me, it’s usually the last one.

I believe thoughts get old, and just like the garbage, we need to take our old rung out thoughts to the dump—and leave them there.

I believe in starting fresh (and doing so often).

Think of it this way: just like computers, our brains/thoughts/attitudes need to be refreshed. And then, we just might need someone to pull us in, wrap their arms around us (whether they be big and strong, or soft and delicate) and remind us that this too shall pass.

The beautiful thing is sometimes they can do so without saying a word.

I think society is wrong in many ways, especially with the way it asks us to cope with aches and pains that ibuprofen doesn’t stand a chance against.

I think it can be unhealthy to never take our strong faces off.

And, in my opinion, it’s not fair to the tender spots in your heart that you may have forgotten about 20 years ago because you chose to “do what you have to do” instead of taking care of yourself and moving on after you “take the trash out.”

I think what Oscar Wilde said (despite it being targeted towards women) is very fitting for this. Wilde said,

“Women are meant to be loved—not to be understood.“

Well, perhaps we should take some notes and stop muffling our pain and begin wading through it by starting with a hug.

It’s all about respecting your beautiful bubble!

But the next time I see someone I love trying to fight through their battles alone, or they just aren’t sure who to pick for their team of heart-ache-kicking supporters, I’ll do one easy and powerful thing (if my gut instinct tells me it’s okay to do so):

Ignore my desire to give unsolicited advice and simply give them a squeeze.

Perhaps we can benefit from a little unity instead of constantly trying to be superior to others by proving our strengths that, in the end, usually make us weak.



The Secret Language of Hugs.

Author: Bailey Mikell

Apprentice Editor: Brandie Smith/Editor: Renee Picard 

Photo: Nicola Romagna/Flickr

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Bailey Mikell