I want to change so badly.
I feel it whispering in my bones, a deep, desperate throbbing that sends out little pulses of buzzing electricity throughout my entire body.
Where do I start?
Those four words seep into my bloodstream, like a double-shot of extra dark espresso. They jolt me just a little too much, sending my head spinning into an overwhelmed, starry-eyed cluster of panicked worry and confusion.
Suddenly I’m whirling in circles like the super-fast spin cycle of an out of control washing machine.
Soap squirts into my already-stinging eyes as I go round and round, crying out in piercing hollers of frustration.
Besides the fact that this doesn’t remotely help, it exhausts the crap out of me.
There has to be a better way.
“There is,” whispers my heart so simply. So sweetly.
I open my sweaty palms and suddenly remember something I all-too-often forget.
The key to change lies in our hands at this very moment.
Antique, ancient-looking and ornate, there’s this beautiful key that, like an appendage, is always with us.
Wait, do you see? There’s something scrawled in loopy script on the bumpy backside.
Let’s breathe in these words. They’re small, yes, but stuffed full of raw, trembling potential.
They remind us that more than anything, change must be rooted in the present. It must radiate from within us at this exact moment, skipping through our souls first, then fanning outward to dance in time with the universe’s heartbeat.
Not tomorrow. Not when we finally love ourselves. Not when we finally stop feeling worthless. Not when we finally lose weight or find love.
Because we are actually perfect, lovable, worthy and delicious just as we are, sans those changes we want to make.
It all starts here—with this tiny, whispering, seemingly insignificant moment tickling the palm of our hand.
Even if our souls are shaking in their boots. Even if we’re completely overwhelmed. Even if we have no f*cking clue how to begin.
Yes, let’s hold our frustrated hearts with soft hands and ask aloud:
What can I do right now to improve myself?
What can I do right now to support myself?
These questions, like sprinkling stardust into our hearts, can open us gently, with deep, magical intention.
They can bring our focus to the place and time where our strength, creativity, and ability to change reside:
Just for this tiny speck of time, we don’t need to worry about the looming uncertainty of the future or feel pulled by the dragging weight of past.
We can stay right here. Just right here, right now.
Soon, a simple answer will start to form, through the muddy clay of our efforts.
For me, my body, mind and soul are saying: “You’ve worn us out! We want to change, too. But, we feel burnt out. Let us rest.”
And, even though this doesn’t seem like change or movement at all—it’s actually great movement towards improvement.
Because my mind, body and soul have received my intention of wishing to change. They recognize that this will take energy—but they don’t have extra energy right now.
So, the first step is to rest and gather strength.
In doing this, I am working towards change in the best way possible—supportively and kindly.
So, I’m going to get a good book, uncork a bottle of cheap red, curl up under four blankets and watch the snowflakes dance to the ground outside my bedroom window.
Then, I will ask those magic questions again tomorrow.
I will ask every day.
This is the path to true transformation.
It begins, always, in this moment right here.
Because if we can help and support ourselves right now, then we’re already moving towards change.
Breathe in and feel the lusciousness of this moment expand into your thirsty lungs.
Feel your buzzing potential underneath the stress and fear and insecurity and worry.
You will get there.
I will get there.
We will get there.
We can start right now.
Let’s open our hands and claim our keys.
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Travis May