“I always knew that one day I would take this road,
But yesterday, I did not know that today would be the day.”
Some say there is a journey in each of us.
Maybe we are simply the outpouring of some higher power’s journey—like a video game designer who says, “Let’s see what happens when we try this…” and then simply lets go.
I believe we do have journeys within us—which began long ago, perhaps lifetimes ago. What I do not know (yet) is what my particular journey is. And as I have now entered my fifth decade on this planet—and for those of you not counting on your hand—that would actually be my 40s, thank you very much—I wonder sometimes if I should know by now.
I have many friends whose journeys have taken them into the breathtakingly humbling and beautiful world of parenthood, family and eager sacrifice for another. Other friends have devoted themselves to a single cause—healthcare, building a school in Africa, the creative process, teaching, and the list of course goes on.
For me it hasn’t been that simple. I often thought some new “destination” held the answer. I moved around a lot—Northern California, Southern California, East Coast and then back to Northern California. And I changed jobs a lot: nature preservation, the arts, higher education and healthcare. I also dabbled in many religions and spiritual practices, spinning a simplified amalgamation that continues to bubble and stew. Lately, Kundalini Yoga breathed and stretched and powered its way generously into this little hotdish.
Today, I feel more peaceful than ever—without the desire to change anything except the part of me that thinks that the answer, the destination, the road I must be on, is out there. The whole journey has been happening within all this time.
A great forgiveness was necessary. A great acceptance is still in progress. And an even greater and grander “letting go” is my secret and ultimate wish.
In nature, we see the utter fluidity and freedom of movement in birds and fish, or the flexible, mutable strength of plant-life. It is in human nature too, in those few amazing souls who allow everything to just be—trusting that all is well, despite the melee others viewing the same scene. The gorgeous result in all of these instances is that they flow, they glide and they groove with God in some sort of creative mash-up.
Whether through meditation and breath work, prayer or simple all-encompassing love, it can happen. We find that there is something beautiful to appreciate in every circumstance, every so-called “problem.”
As humans, we have that extra cognitive capability to take complete ownership of our thoughts and what those thoughts are creating around us. And perhaps it is only grace that allows us to release it back into the flow.
It is this grace I wish for myself. And it is this grace I wish for you today.
Author: Brandy Kolmer
Editor: Caroline Beaton
Photo: Courtesy of the author
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