I will Never Apologize for being Vulnerable.

Via Janne Robinson
on Apr 11, 2015
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Photo credit: Bryan Tranminh

Recently someone, who I don’t know well, reached out to me and bared her heart.

I didn’t respond right away.

It was long and deserving of presence and time, both which I didn’t have when I received her message.

We forget sometimes that messaging services are for just that, leaving a message.

I don’t live with my fingers glued to my screen and because of that, sometimes there will be a day or two delay.

She wrote a second message a few hours later apologizing for unloading the goings on of her life on me.

I knew that feeling.

That feeling like we are imposing, unwanted, or taking up space when we open up to someone and don’t hear back immediately.

Baring our souls is a lot like getting naked.

And when we get naked, we usually expect people to look at us, at the very least.

So, when no one notices our ballsiness and leaves us hanging, with it all hanging out—yeah that’s terrifying.

It can feel like the person didn’t want to hear it and we did something we should be embarrassed or self conscious about.

Throw on our trousers in a hurry and regret feeling brave earlier, as we feel foolish.

I am an open-hearted, sensitive as sh*t Cancerian and when I was younger I would pour my heart and soul on late nights into text messages communicating it all—the joy, the sadness, the anger.

My ability to communicate as strongly as I did made most men run away with their tails between their legs.

It’s only at 25-years-old that I am learning what an incredible strength and asset it is to be vulnerable, to communicate and to be transparent with the sensitivity that comes from living with a wide open chest.

My sensitivity is my greatest strength, not a weakness.

Saying what’s really going on is hard.

I remember waking up in the morning, with no new text message notifications and six-page messages in my outbox baring my wavering heart.

I remember feeling embarrassed and apologizing for my feelings.

I will never apologize for being transparent.

Sometimes in my transparency I will be irrational, and not as graceful or gentle as I wish and then I will apologize.

But there is everything right with saying how we feel.

This woman was a mirror for me, and my message to her and for myself and the world is:

Don’t ever, ever, apologize for being vulnerable and open.

Don’t ever apologize for being honest and saying you’re having an *sshole of a day.

Don’t send an email or a message or open up to a stranger and then go, “oh sh*t!” and apologize for your beautiful ability to be transparent and real.

It doesn’t matter if they don’t dig you or connect or think it’s too much, or if they fall in love with your ability to show up exactly how you are.

“What other people think of you, is none of your business” ~Paulo Cohelo

Don’t ever apologize for vulnerability–it is the biggest gift you may give someone.

~

Relephant read:

My Superpower is Vulnerability.

~

Author: Janne Robinson

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: courtesy of the author


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About Janne Robinson

Janne Robinson is a poet, writer, bushwalker, idealist and animal activist currently residing in Vancouver Island. She cuts kindling with her teeth, eats Bukowski for breakfast and makes the habit of saying the word feminist as much as possible. She surfs naked, pees in the woods, and loves whiskeys that swing their hips when they walk and know what they are doing. Janne's life-work is to be transparent. She makes a living off hanging her dirty and clean laundry out for the world to see. Her mission is to give others permission to also walk and exist with the same transparency. You can connect with her on TwitterInstagram and Facebook. Please also visit and connect with her Facebook writer's page. Check out Janne's website.

Comments

12 Responses to “I will Never Apologize for being Vulnerable.”

  1. I am also a poet. I've written and performed(!) some heavy things. Someone told me that in resonating with someone else's experience (as it did), I'm giving them a voice, a chance to be validated for their own pain, inspiration to then share their experience, the beginning of healing.

  2. Nicole Milman says:

    Thank you, thank you. At 40, I have recently begun living authentically and after having made some very difficult choices, have been berating myself for my openness and emotional nakedness. I appreciate your words so much.

  3. Marianna says:

    and you were a mirror for me.
    it is great you’re realising this at barely 25, it’s been taking me much longer.

  4. jen says:

    I love this… And it has appeared on my timeline with perfect timing (mostly thanks to facebook and their creepy algorithms.

    Being vulnerable is something I struggle with, I have only come to realise recently how my walls up is weakness and actually the strongest people are the ones who are open and prepared to be accepted or rejected in whatever manner that comes in their way.

    First came the realisation, now for the action.

    Thank you for your words, and you are exceptionally lucky to be realising this at 25 <3

    Thank you xx

  5. Massimo says:

    Vulnerability is THE thing
    Exposing our vulnerability is the only way to love or to be loved
    (at least that works for me !)

  6. Alexis says:

    Oh, best thing I've read all day man how much more simple the world would be if we could all keep this mind

  7. Stephanie says:

    This was right on time for me today. Oh, how I can relate to so much of what you have written here! Thank you for the message, it's always great to "hear" your thoughts from someone else's mouth.

  8. Soph says:

    It's great what you wrote. Very often, in past few months, I feel like an ass exposing my feelings and thoughts to someone who apparently doesn't want to hear me. And it hurts, of course it does but at the same time I have that feeling that I did what I could to be heard and understood, I was transparent and honest, the rest is not up to me…

  9. Geoffrey Douglas K says:

    Thank You for sharing …

    Joyous

    Announcements

    Nurturing

    Natural

    Expression

    Robustly

    Orating

    Beautiful

    Insightfully

    Nuanced

    Soul-filled

    Offerings

    Now

  10. Koi says:

    My soul spilling out of your mouth. Thank you

  11. Koi says:

    My soul, spilling out of yourmouth. Thank you.

  12. Hell yes!

    As a man it’s even more common to appear to be weak by showing your vulnerability, but nothing couple be further from the truth. I am a strong, flawed, complicated human being and I wouldn’t want to pretend I’m any other way.

    It takes some big balls to put it all out there and be okay with your humanity.

    Thanks a bunch!

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