Kissing is a delicious, tantalising, sensual and intimately personal experience which can also be incredibly erotic, therapeutic and deeply bonding.
During a passionate kissing session neurotransmitters, such as dopamine (self-confidence and feel-good hormone) and serotonin (balances moods), elevate and then trigger the release of oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, sparking an all over radiant glow and a deeply fulfilling and pleasurable sensation.
There are so many different types of kissing styles we can engage in but the orgasmic kiss is one of my favourites.
We often kiss our partners in the way we’d like to be kissed, so when kissing, it is important to take turns in leading and following with the movement of the lips so that we can get a sense of the other person’s preferences.
Women are far more likely to reach orgasm while kissing as the female’s lips are one of the most erogenous zones (sexually sensitive) and have more nerve endings than almost any other part of the body. Lips are supposedly 100 times more sensitive than the tips of the fingers and are more sensitive than the female’s genitals. According to the Kama Sutra, a female’s mouth is a mirror to her genitals—the lips being the labia, the cupids bow (the double curve on the upper lip) being similar to the clitoris and the hard palate above the front teeth reflecting the g-spot.
So, to give a seductive orgasmic kiss to a female’s lips, use a similar technique to one that would be used for kissing the genitals.
To kiss orgasmically is to essentially involve the entire mouth area, juicily exploring the lips, tongue and teeth.
Kissing involves three of the senses, taste, touch and smell, so it is important to make sure that the mouth area is clean and fresh. Exfoliate the lips regularly to ensure they are smooth and maybe even use a small amount of flavoured lip chap to make the lips soft and tasty.
To enhance the sensual experience, initially spend some time on foreplay to slowly entice eroticism and build into the kiss. Move the body into a position so that contact is close and comfortable for both. If appropriate, line the bodies so that the lower erogenous zones are touching. Press the bodies slowly but firmly towards one another, then release a little and repeat in response to the speed of the kissing to heighten pleasure levels.
Place the palm of one hand at the back of the neck and softly tousle the hair with your fingers, while also caressing the neck. The other hand can rest firmly but gently on the side of the face, moving to stroke the jawline and neck.
While kissing, the hands can also move to massage, squeeze and caress the back, breasts, just under the breast bone, abdomen, thighs and bum, while also pulling your partner’s body in closer to achieve a more intimate contact. Pulling the hair at the roots to gently tilt the head back can also be an erotic way to increase pleasure.
Relax the lips, press them gently into your partner’s and begin by kissing slowly placing butterfly kisses over the lips and surrounding skin, adding a little more pressure and speeding things slightly as you both begin to arouse. Using just the tip of the tongue wet the lips with a slightly controlled movement.
When the moment feels right, slowly insert the tip of the tongue into the mouth and then pull back slightly as though the mouths are mirroring the act of intercourse. Repeat this motion with a regular rhythm to build anticipation and increase the level of desire.
Hesitate momentarily to allow the other person to repeat the motions or use their own preferred movements, noticing the speed and intensity. Softly nibble the lips, gently licking and biting the curves on the upper lip, moving to the corners of the mouth and just below the bottom lip. Also, suck on the lips, one at a time, and slowly and slightly firmly suck and release the tongue.
Tickling is one of the easiest ways to excite, however, not everyone likes to be tickled. Try tickling the lips slowly with the tongue but take it slow to pay attention to how the sensation is received. If it feels good for the other person, roll the tongue slowly around the mouth, teasing while causing a tickle sensation at the same time.
Alternate between tickling the lips and mouth softly and then nibbling on the lips or move to the earlobes, down the arms to the wrists and back upwards to the neck to love-bite the flesh, (without sucking too hard and leaving marks). In between kissing, if appropriate, take some time to massage and suck the nipples, then move the attention back to succulently seducing and teasing the lips while the hands remain to fondle the breasts.
Synchronising the breathing is another way to heighten desire—as one inhales, the other exhales with approximately the same depth, adjusting the breathing as the kissing intensifies to shorter more rapid breaths.
An orgasm through kissing may not happen immediately and could take some practice, the key is not to focus on reaching orgasm, but rather to concentrate on enjoying each sensual moment. The orgasm will come when it is ready (sorry for the pun). Don’t be too rough (unless that style is welcomed) or in too much of a hurry—let it feel natural, so that both sets of lips move in tune with the other. Not everyone will achieve an orgasm through kissing, and not everyone will appreciate the orgasmic style.
It’s important to be in tune with one another when the kissing session takes place and don’t forget to pay close attention to how the kissing is returned. If this is someone’s first orgasmic kiss it may be a little overwhelming so go slowly, be gentle and build the intensity little by little.
An amazing sexual experience is quite often less about physical stimulation and more about the connection and the chemistry that is taking place.
Orgasmic kissing can also be used to sustain an orgasm that has been achieved during penetrative sex. Regularly return to kissing sensually during a love-making session to send bioelectric shocks through the body, to stimulate and enhance sensitivity and create mind blowing results with a long lasting erotic impression.
The true art of an orgasmic and intoxicating kiss is presence, so let it linger and be fully aware of the sensations that arise from it and also experience the full pleasure of giving and receiving.
Although this is a guide, there is no magical step by step plan that must be followed. It is far more important to pay attention to all the signals the other person is giving out, rather than following techniques that may not be appreciated. Be in the moment, clear the mind so that it is free to fully absorb each seductive and sensitised moment of the orgasmic kiss.
Experiment, relax, whisper to one another, take control, surrender, add elements of surprise and notice the energy and passion ignite between the bodies. Try not to focus on the end result, the majority of pleasure, satisfaction and excitement is found on the journey, not the destination.
Bonus: The Simple Buddhist Trick To Being Happy.
Bonus: Enlighten your sex life.
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Katarina Tavčar
Photo: Michelle B./Flickr