I used to be super uncomfortable with all this goddess stuff.
Goddess imagery conjured up images of Eve’s defiance as she took a bite of the forbidden apple. (Goddess energy is internally driven—it may cause you to break rules and social norms as it demands loyalty to the beats of your own heart.)
Goddesses were associated with witches in my mind who knew secret magic and wore proudly the ugly warts on their noses. (Divine feminine power moves deeper than the force of external beauty into the very nature and energies of life and has a sort of fuck social beauty norms attitude.)
Goddesses were seductive and sexual and unashamedly so. (Living with the Goddess leaves little room for sexual objectification. Instead, relationships align on a subject to subject form, not top down as in patriarchal structures. Authentic sexuality and expression awakens within and creates a shared experience.)
I didn’t know why I would I want that kind of scary rebellious energy in my life.
As it turns out, I was already scary and rebellious enough. And once I recognized that in myself, I recognized the goddess at work within me. I realized how I had devalued certain parts of myself and seen them as bad and dangerous. Upon further reflection, I began to see how this feisty energy actually helps me live a life that supports my passions, integrity and thriving.
So I pressed in.
Goddess energy is for everyone, men and women.
Here are five ways to cultivate and embrace it more in your life:
Step One: Boundaries.
Practice saying “No.” We are not living someone else’s life. We are not side characters in someone else’s story. In order to do the work we’ve been given to do, we need to create boundaries around a sacred space to discover our gifts so that our work can unfold in the world. Consider Frederick Buechner’s vocational question: Where does your great joy meet the world’s great need? And then go for it! Like the spirit junkie Gabby Bernstein says, “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no!” Honor your instincts. Follow the energy. And say no to those commitments that steal too much of your time away from your true work.
Step Two: Use your rage.
I used to think anger was a sin. I used to practice my spirituality by being nice and stuffing my true feelings—especially the fiery ones. I was really good at over valuing others and undervaluing myself. If I felt something was off in a relationship, I would smooth it over by being Minnesota nice. But anger signals that a boundary has been crossed. In order to heal, I had to allow myself to feel those forbidden feelings of anger—I had to bite into that apple. Think of Martin Luther King Jr. or anyone who has become enraged by the injustices of the world. Let your anger become the antidote to your lethargy and the fuel for your passions.
Step Three: Clean up the self-talk.
I used to be own worst enemy. At one time I would crumble underneath anyone else’s criticism because I was such an expert at beating myself up already. After I had children I realized that I would never talk to my own children the way I talked to myself. This woke me up and taught me how to begin to mother myself well. Now I practice telling myself that I’m fabulous—because I am. Hell yes! I don’t need someone else to validate me. I can say the words that I need to hear. Perfection is cruel and inhuman. Compassion is key. Practice it often.
Step Four: Become a virgin again.
The goddess Aphrodite became a virgin again every year by bathing in the sea off of Cronos. As the goddess of love, no matter how many partners she had, she ultimately belonged to herself and was true to her energy. We too can renew our virginity when we honor the fact that we are one in ourselves. If I feel I’m getting too attached to another person and overly clingy, I withdraw and take some time to discover how I have neglected an essential aspect of my nature and mistakenly believed it to be outside of myself.
Now I practice calling myself back home. I take myself out to dinner and eat delicious food. I adorn myself with sensual clothing. I am adept at master-dating and masturbating. (Why didn’t I learn about the dual stimulating vibrator before age 38?) I have become skilled at how to create pleasure for myself and all by myself.
Step Five: Anoint your body.
Our bodies are a sacred temple. They are the dwelling place of our soul. They are our friend and constant companion from birth until death. Our bodies are primarily made of water that is influenced by our words and even our thoughts! Practice saying and thinking kind words of appreciation toward your body every day.
I do this in the shower, extending gratitude for all the different parts of my body and how they support me in my life. After showering, I take time to anoint my body with fragrant oil. Use almond oil or sacred oil that has been chanted or prayed over. When we are balanced and centered we all glow. It’s the light within the body that makes us all truly beautiful. Let that light shine in whatever body you have been given.
Goddess energy will challenge us to be joyfully rebellious. These fires will illuminate our inner life while burning away the social structures that teach us to conform to standards that silence the soul.
With goddess guidance we can co-create a truly authentic and inspirational life. Why not rock it?
Author: Jessica Zdenek
Editor: Catherine Monkman
Photo: Author’s Own