Sex is the barometer for our romantic relationships.
I have been told by many that “sex isn’t everything,” but if someone can’t fuck me deliciously, then they will never be able to fuck my heart, my mind and especially my soul.
“Physical connection is critical to emotional intimacy. When there’s no physical intimacy it isn’t too long before the emotional intimacy goes, too.” ~ Kimberly Graham
We are sexual creatures. We are born from sex, and we spend the majority of our lives wrapped up in the details of it. We are built for touch, for love, and for those sensual moments that ruin us forever.
Sex is as limitless as the lover––and with the right partner, it not only is infinite––it’s unforgettable.
Sex truly is a gauge for how healthy our romantic relationship is. I am not talking about a “one and done” type situation; I am talking about the type of relationship that changes us forever. The one that none other can be compared to, and life will forever be defined in terms of a before and after.
To have amazing sex requires the exact same ingredients as having a healthy relationship. I feel so many times this is overlooked. To be able to be heart fucked requires opening ourselves to another, and we can’t do this without trust. Trust is crucial to our sense of well-being and comfort with another individual.
In order to let someone else into our hearts we need to be able to trust that they would not harm us. We need to not only trust them with our inner most thoughts and feelings, but our oddities, our sarcasm and the weird parts of ourselves that most of the world won’t ever see.
“When you touch someone with your spirit, and they in turn touch your soul with their heart.”
When we trust fully we don’t just develop an emotional trust—we develop a physical one as well.
A physical trust, especially for a woman, is one of the greatest gifts that she can give her lover. A woman can’t really have her body fucked until she’s opened her heart up to be fucked too.
To have a physical trust means that she will be open to her lover sexually. Trust in sex means not only being willing to try new things together, but also willing to let a lover take over her body, to be open to his touch, to let him lead her in the act and let herself orgasm with him.
Many women mistake the inability to orgasm as physical, when in reality, it’s usually based in the unwillingness to open emotionally and let themselves go.
Before we can be heart fucked, we need to make the decision to open ourselves completely to our lovers.
To trust our lover in bed means we will trust them in life. I would venture to argue that the trust that is based in being able to have amazing sex together is deeper than any other kind of trust. It’s relaxed and unrushed, it’s laid-back and casual––when something happens so effortlessly there is no need to worry about it.
When we trust someone at this level, we also have patience with them and their individual journey. We respect their life decisions, and have gratitude for being able to have them in our lives––maybe this is better than any sort of standard commitment that we are told we are supposed to make.
Although I have my own thoughts about the unoriginality of white diamonds and dresses, one saying we often hear is that we should marry our best friend––which I agree with, but only if that best friend is someone whom makes our heart race and our blood run hot.
“Know this: I have tasted your mind and I cannot forget its flavor.” ~Unknown
Only a best friend whom we can share incredible passion with can ever be capable of mind fucking us.
I think too often not only do people underestimate the importance of sex, but of passion. The passion that a lover demonstrates during sex is the exact same passion they have for life, and will ultimately have for someone they care about.
To me passion isn’t something that I am just going to reserve for when I am naked and rolling around with my lover––and I hope he doesn’t either. I want my lover to be as passionate about life as he is about me. I want him to be passionate about his job, his friends, his leisure time, his hobbies, the food he eats and in creating alone time for himself.
I believe that a man, who can be passionate in every aspect of his life, is going to understand and encourage me to be the same. We will feed off each other’s passions, and only when that happens will someone be able to fully fuck me in the most delicious way.
To be able to mind fuck each other means to meet each other mentally and to challenge and inspire one another as well. This is the ultimate level of romantic consciousness. But to achieve this, we need to be willing to be honest with ourselves about our needs, wants and desires––not those that are just about us personally, but about what we expect from another person as well.
Instead of hiding our differences, let’s wear them as badges of honor, because it is proof that we are a unique.
When we are truly passionate about our lovers, it’s not only to desire their body, their lips and the smell of their skin, but it’s to desire their minds––the rush of words over their lips, the way they can create fire in our souls and the mental connection that makes us feel like we have sparks of electricity dancing in our minds.
The trick isn’t to find someone that just makes your blood rush while you’re skin to skin, but to find that person who makes you breathless just walking into a room, whose very being arouses you––the one whom you just can’t keep your hands off of.
Someone who can fuck us dizzy by just looking into our eyes.
Every fear, every mistake, every heartache is preparation for that chance to be soul fucked into oblivion. We need to simply let it all out, so that we can let it all in.
“Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.” ~ Charlie Chaplin
Opening our soul to another is the most elusive and most desirable type of connection. The reality is, even if we’ve opened our hearts and minds to someone, not everyone can be that Soul Mate, or Twin Flame who can fuck our souls.
We can’t force something that just isn’t there.
Soul fucking is not just opening ourselves up to another individual, but it’s to invite them inside—to let them wander around the deepest parts of our hearts, and to let them color outside the lines of our love.
It believes in magic, even when people think we are crazy for it. It’s not having our heads in the clouds, but knowing that sometimes, it’s the very best of things that are unexplainable. It believes that sometimes, two people really are meant to be together—and that sometimes the universe conspires to make it happen.
It’s so easy to be skeptical in the society that we live in, but it takes courage to be an optimist, to believe in what can’t be seen, but only felt.
When two souls come together that recognize something inside one another, a connection is forged that can’t be broken.
It’s timeless, and doesn’t abide by the rules.
Souls aren’t aware of what they should or shouldn’t be doing, they don’t believe in timelines, or what society says about love. They are unconventional and apart of any norm that we have ever seen. When we meet someone whom our soul recognizes—all bets are off.
To soul fuck is be open, honest, raw and not the least bit perfect. It’s to be ruined forever.
I believe sex is everything—it’s the throbbing life force that drives us in all that we do. It’s the lick of lips against juicy and ripe strawberries, it’s the way our lashes graze our check when we drift off daydreaming, and it’s the bite of a bottom lip as we think about late nights and sweaty skin.
Sex and physical intimacy is the fire of life and we all deserved to be fucked senseless, in every way possible…and as often as possible.
Author: Kate Rose
Editor: Travis May