For the Women With Balls Who Do Give a F*ck.

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277/365 "Poor little skin stretched over poor little bones", martinak15, Flickr

*warning: f-bombs dropped below!

Relephant: get Things I would like to do with You.

This one is for you.

For the dream seekers and the rebels, the ones who not only don’t fit into the mold—they fucking break it as well.

This is for the women who do give a fuck.

We give a fuck about ourselves, our lives and those that matter most to us—but mostly we give a fuck about making a difference in this one amazing life.

We know that we weren’t born to play life small, and while life has tried to smack us down at times, we stand right back up asking—is that all you’ve got?

This is for the women with the balls to be themselves—unapologetically.

Yes, the balls.

Because having balls isn’t about what’s hanging between the legs of a man—but what we are willing to risk, to go after what we love.

This is for the women who stay up late chasing dreams, and are up early with the sun making them a reality.

This is for those women with thirsty hearts and messy hair—the ones who march to the beat of our hearts and often find ourselves alone because of our choices.

This one is for you, for me, and for all the women who often wonder if they are alone in their individuality.

You’re not.

And although we are as unique as they come, we all are linked because of the desire to break free from the expectation that we need to be well-behaved women in order to be loved.

We can’t follow the rules for the life of us. When given the choice we always choose the most difficult road, because that is where we often learn the most.

This is for the women who take care of themselves. We are masters at keeping our shit together, even when it seems we can’t take one more step.

This is for the women who tuck themselves into bed each night. It’s not because we don’t want a lover with us, but because we know that, unless it’s genuine, solitude is so much sweeter than putting on an act.

This is for the women who just won’t conform no matter how many times people shake their heads at us.

These are the women who drink moonshine underneath the stars with their bare feet dirty, and their eyes wild dreaming of their next adventure.

The women who prefer to be untamed. We don’t care about letting our crazy show because we know it’s just as seductive as the pull of our eyes.

This is for all the women who’ve had people ask why we can’t just be like everyone else. Why can’t we stay in unhappy relationships? Why can’t we just stay with the secure job? Why can’t we just suck it up because we are adults? That is what adults are supposed to do.

But we were born differently. Where others see stability, we see stifling.

“We dream of a life that fills us with inspiration, and we dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for.”

~ Alice Hoffman

We don’t know how to give up on the desires of our hearts.

And while we may seem to wander aimlessly at times, it’s all part of our un-plan. Because some are just born to be the movers and shakers in this life—to rattle and shake things up a bit.

And while we may drive you crazy at times, and scare the shit out of you at others, life would be boring without us.

For we are the wild ones—the ones who make life worth living.



To Love a Wild Woman.

Relephant bonus: Here’s another thing worth giving a f**k about:


Author: Kate Rose

Editor: Khara-Jade Warren

Image: martinak15/ Flickr

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italianlotus87 Jan 22, 2019 9:10am

Just love this!

anonymous Apr 10, 2016 3:20pm

Hey S. Young maybe it’s you that’s the issue here. This post moved me and filled me with GIRL POWER! Get a grip and quit whining!! I shared this with SO many women who feel the same as I do!! WE ARE WOMEN HERE US ROAR!! Not whine!!

anonymous Mar 26, 2016 8:49am

Truly inspiring! Keep it up Kate!

anonymous Feb 12, 2016 11:17pm

I think our paucity of appropriate language for the female side of things is a problem; simply rehashing male buzzwords (you’ve got balls) or female genitalia-based insults by males ( cunt ) is no answer, either.

anonymous Jan 30, 2016 11:01am

"This is for the women who tuck themselves into bed each night. It’s not because we don’t want a lover with us, but because we know that, unless it’s genuine, solitude is so much sweeter than putting on an act."

It took me so long to realize that its OK to be alone. Somewhere along the way I was taught and believed I was no one unless I was wanted by someone. Getting over that and realizing I actually enjoy being alone has been so liberating. And the more I write about it in my blog, the more I realize so many other women feel the same way. There are a lot of us out there, and I thank you for writing this article and showing the world you too are one of them! – I love this post, thank you!

anonymous Jan 28, 2016 2:19am

Ahhh thank you!!!

In my family we like to call our go nads,

Lady Balls!!

Yep wonderfully beautiful fearce LADYBALLS 🙂

anonymous Sep 2, 2015 4:51pm

AMY WATSON "Oh my GOD do they play games. It's serious because they use (women) to a point where they themselves may lack ultimate reality. I suspect this because they obtain SO MUCH MONEY with no families that you just can't give them credit for anything."

What the hell does that mean exactly?

anonymous Sep 1, 2015 10:24pm

“Reality is neither easy nor difficult.” – This was either Patanjali, B.K.S. Iyengar or perhaps even Buddha. I’m not sure but I sort of used it as a mantra for a long time. As an especially tall woman in modern culture, I have seen my fair share of the games men play. Oh my GOD do they play games. It’s serious because they use (women) to a point where they themselves may lack ultimate reality. I suspect this because they obtain SO MUCH MONEY with no families that you just can’t give them credit for anything. You just can’t; and so, to save your soul, you fight. You fight fast food; you fight advertising; you fight the expectation for you to be complacent; you fight anything that says “turn your head while I make a mess somewhere else.” We see that message so much that it becomes infuriating. What we do today is how happy our children are which is what the world IS tomorrow. Motherhood can be dauntingly serious and this is why we – some of us, not all – shouldn’t be afraid to swim upstream and create our worlds. It may be more difficult, but I like to think it’s more real. Men seem basically ok with the scores of books on our shelves that are mysoginist. They are. At the risk of saying too much, I think modern men have forgotten that these used to be scrolls shared by men which women never saw. Now we see them and I think there are repercussions. It’s a lot to digest – the entire innards of what every man has ever thought. I don’t think gender war is inappropriate. How else are we going to get it burned or rewritten?

anonymous Aug 26, 2015 3:55pm

I have to say the same thing, and I actually wrote a new 'friend' something along the same lines about me last night. BUT, Why is it that everyone says they love these things about me, but then, eventually, I think it wears them down until they are intimidated and insecure?! Does anyone else experience this in their relationships?
Maybe it'e like Deb said…."Need to find a man with balls the size of mine!
But I agree….she gets me. Now we all need to get together and conquer the world!! Not that we need the help, but

    anonymous Oct 30, 2015 5:21am

    Always, Wendy. Always. The way that I look at it though is if one can’t accept the authentic me, the time to move on is sooner rather than later.

anonymous Aug 11, 2015 1:11pm

I read and re-read this more than a normal person! My connection to is cut deep. Thank you so much. It’s amazing when you start and learn to love who you are. ❤️

anonymous Aug 9, 2015 12:27am


anonymous Aug 8, 2015 4:35pm

Love this! Now to find a man with balls the same size as mine

anonymous Aug 7, 2015 5:37pm

They say imitation is the best form of flattery. This reads like Janne Robinson’s work on “This is for the women who don’t give a F*ck.”

I’m assuming that was your intention, but just making an observation here. If I had written something as a spin off of hers, I would’ve at least credited her as the inspiration for it. I get we all borrow from each other, but I think it’s good to give credit where credit is due.

I am also recalled to that quote about balls being weak and sensitive and to grow a vagina… cause those things can take a beating.

Some women might say they have “balls”… but I think I’ll just stick with my lady parts. No need to borrow another’s genitalia to reference my own female strength.

anonymous Aug 7, 2015 11:05am

Wow…this article is just…wow… totally relatable and absolutely inspirational….

anonymous Aug 4, 2015 9:36am

Wow, I am just speechless at how you so eloquently captured our true spirit. Thank you for writing this. I will be saving it and sharing it.

anonymous Aug 4, 2015 1:46am

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Yes. I’ve never actually heard this more perfectly stated. Am rereading and posting and adding. THANK YOU. You see us, we see you ❤ Sarah Sihota

anonymous Aug 3, 2015 12:07pm

As a woman I don’t think I am unusual at all because I don’t conform. Many women feel a lot of the time that they don’t fit in. That’s because the culture we live is not just sexist, its utterly misogynistic.

But for reference, I’ve not got balls. I’m glad of that. They always seem to me to be a very foolish bit of design. What I’ve got is cunt. I wish you more power to yours.

    anonymous Sep 22, 2015 9:11pm

    Yeah, but then how will this woman and those like her convince themselves how special and different they are for having messy hair and being "unbridled* and *alive* and *real* where all the other women are fake and not alive and not real?

    Don't get my wrong, I'm all for passion. I'm just not willing to tell myself I'm so much more unique than everyone else.

anonymous Aug 2, 2015 2:02pm

Wow. I loved this. It was unapologetic, and if there’s one thing I’m working towards it’s being unapologetic in who I am. Thank you.

anonymous Aug 1, 2015 7:49pm


anonymous Aug 1, 2015 5:09pm




I am beyond thrilled to know more women like me do exist!!!!

If you are offended by reading this then you should probably go and sit with the panty wagons down the road! This is the 20th Century not the 50’s where there was a manual on your role as a wife and how to be submissive and serve your husbands, regardless if they abused you mentally, emotionally and/or physically! F*** all that! I can honestly say I am the proud owner of “My Balls” and not afraid to show it! It has taken many years of heartache, healing, confusion, coping, co-dependency, courage, strength, and WANTING TO BREAK THE CYCLE SO BAD I CAN TASTE IT, to be where I am today and I would not change one single thing about it!

anonymous Jul 31, 2015 11:40pm

I just could not believe what I was reading. I swear, everything you wrote about was so “me” , something I am very proud of . I even felt a little violated, I mean how could you possibly know me so well. I have had these figuratively speaking balls for many years. 15 years ago my family even named them……..”Wanda Balls”. Seriously, everyone should own a pair !

anonymous Jul 31, 2015 3:03pm

Get back in the kitchen (after we do anal) ….

anonymous Jul 31, 2015 9:56am

The world needs more strong women. Women who can stand on their own two feet and fight for what they believe in. The world needs more wild women who are not afraid to dance naked in the moonlight.
The world needs more women who dare to sing their song.
The world needs more witches, more spirit warriors, more healers.
The world needs more women who have visited their dark side
The world needs more women who want to learn to be Women.
Otherwise I am diminished as a man

anonymous Jul 31, 2015 3:30am

Amazing!!! Loved it!!!! Thank you for writing this! I identify 100%! I almost never write a review or a comment but on this one I had to. Please keep writing and sharing your thoughts!

anonymous Jul 31, 2015 1:35am

For anyone to find offense at this clever article is beyond me. Everyone take 4 steps back, take 5 deep calming breaths, then read the full discussion. For those that will not: l

anonymous Jul 30, 2015 9:01pm

S. Young sadly you totally missedThe Beautiful Message In this articleTry thinking outside the box! Read it and enjoy the message Instead of dissecting every word. Just saying

anonymous Jul 30, 2015 1:15pm

Loved, loved, loved this! <3 thank you!

anonymous Jul 30, 2015 6:06am

Perfect timing for me…and this is perfectly me. I didn’t find this piece the least bit offensive…you have to be able to read between the lines here. Pull from it whatever you can and leave the rest for everyone else to sift thru and grow from. You can call it “balls” or “ovaries” or whatever you need to hear to accept your individuality and be proud of it. I can now see beyond my thoughts and dreams for my future. And its ok to be ME. Thank yu for the writing! 🙂

    anonymous Jul 30, 2015 9:18am

    YES! So glad to hear that you are loving being you! <3

anonymous Jul 29, 2015 10:05pm

I am slack-jawed and nearly in tears by how close this hits to home for me. You may have meant it tongue-in-cheek but it struck a deep, meaningful chord in me. I’m not remotely offended by someone saying I have balls by doing some of the things I do. It’s not necessarily a badge of honor for me, but I do take it in the spirit it’s intended–it just means you’ve done something brash and/or innovative that people normally associate with a testosterone-ridden man’s actions. Women kick men’s asses in so many ways, especially in matters of weathering deeply painful emotional situations, giving birth, on our feet with the flu to take care of our families, etc, but we don’t get credit for it because we usually bear it quietly. I loved this piece and I thank you for it.

    anonymous Jul 30, 2015 9:18am

    Julie, I couldn't agree with you more.
    I feel that women sometimes are given the short end of the stick, especially in terms with what we deal with. It's not so much about claiming the qualities of a man, but more about the qualities of strength and perseverance. These words set something inside of me free, and I am so glad to hear that they did the same for you.

      anonymous Jul 30, 2015 10:55am

      See here's the thing: women claiming they are behaving uncharacteristically, i.e. like a man, seems too self-deprecating. Considering your actions and choices using a frame of reference "normally associate(d) with a testosterone-ridden man's actions" carries a lot of baggage and dilutes your sense of self worth. We all know there is a huge difference in the way the sexes act and react, or process emotions, and using the other sex as a yardstick is a quite penalizing to self and the opposite sex. I try to revel in each individual's qualities and strengths regardless of their sex. I suggest that if you unbind yourself from this mode of thinking that you may feel a profound sense of liberation.

    anonymous Aug 18, 2015 11:46pm

    I started crying. It was like saying, "Someone gets me!"

anonymous Jul 29, 2015 9:38pm

Totally feeling you on this piece. I am the male counterpart to this type of woman and isolation is often the consequence for living your life uniquely. Be strong and let your sun shine. The light will always be to bright for the mediocre so you don't have to waste your time. Author Bruce Bryans writes about being a polarizing figure so that you repel those not worth your time and only attract those high quality individuals that recognize who you are.

anonymous Jul 29, 2015 8:33pm

As we can see by your grammar, you may have a problem "getting it".

Cheers to the writer!

anonymous Jul 29, 2015 7:31pm

"We dream of a life that fills us with inspiration, and we dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for." – YES!

anonymous Jul 29, 2015 2:07pm

This is why I 'm not renewing m elephant subscription.This thing where a woman "has balls" is sexiest and offence to both men and women. It's called having a a great set of ovaries and "ovarieing up " if it is a woman.I on't need balls to get things done and men aren't always "taking care of bushiness"s and not giving a dame(at least not because they don't have balls).

    anonymous Jul 29, 2015 2:46pm

    Hey there – thanks for your comment!

    This is supposed to be a bit lighthearted, tongue-in-cheek, if you will. It's not meant to be offensive. If you want to share your opinion (constructive criticism) beyond this, by all means submit some writing!

    anonymous Jul 29, 2015 7:36pm

    Hey S. Young, As EJ said this was supposed to be tongue and cheek because we hear so much about getting some balls, or maning up. It is supposed to be an amazing contradiction that says women don't have to claim their feminine aspects specifically in order to be considered women-thanks so much for your thoughts. EJ is an amazing publication and I do urge you to reconsider<3

    anonymous Jul 29, 2015 11:09pm

    The author states its not about what’s in between your legs. Having balls is a general term. Sure you can say ovaries as well but to say having balls is sexist especially when the author clarifies that it’s not about the physical being of having balls is a stretch.

    Grow a pair. Is that sexist? Again… These phrases are how you make them out to be. For the women who really don’t give a fuck (I consider myself one of these women) having balls or having ovaries are one in the same.

    Great post to the author. Uplifting and reminds us women to keep trucking. You don’t have to be the societal version of female to get what you want out of life.

      anonymous Dec 28, 2015 8:17pm

      Quite right. I suppose I could be offended by the language given that I've been unfortunate enough to lose both testicles and now have an empty sack between my legs. But, I am not. I understand what the author meant. Anyway, I have balls even if I don't have testicles.

    anonymous Jul 30, 2015 10:30pm

    Breathe deep S. Young if the words don't fill you with joy and spark and renewed spirit so be it.
    Don't be so tied down to feminist political correctness. It's boring – break all the boundaries.
    Rebel even against what the feminist ethos tells us we should believe and do.
    My friends and I call ourselves Cunts to take back the word and use it as a term of mateship and power.
    We will reclaim our uterus power but not through indignation and political correctness but through humour and zest.
    This piece is filled with both. Rejoice in the spirit of the piece and don't get bogged down with the words. X

    anonymous Aug 30, 2015 6:31pm

    Obviously this article was not meant for you! 🙂 Finding offense is NOT for the movers & shakers, the dreamers & creators! Feel the pull in this article! Think of the passion it stirred in so any people!! Unclench your cheeks and ride this life.

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Kate Rose

Kate Rose is an artist, free thinker, lover, writer, passionate yogi, teacher, mother, rule breaker, and rebel. She can usually be found walking barefoot in the moonlight between worlds with the dreams of stars still hanging in her hair, swaying her hips to the music of life and smelling of sweet bourbon and honeysuckle. She lives for adventure and wakes each morning with the excitement of a new day waiting to unfold at her feet. She truly believes the best is yet to come and waits, with bated breath, to see what it may hold. Follow her on TwitterFacebook or Instagram, and find more of her words on her website.