September 21, 2015

I don’t Want to Get Over You—that’s the Problem.


“The ones who love you will never leave you. Even if there are a hundred reasons to give up, they will find the one reason to hold on.” ~Unknown

Letting go is a choice—but it’s not one that I want to make.

Sometimes someone crosses our path who makes us realize life won’t ever be the same again.

It’s not necessarily because life suddenly becomes perfect—but because all others pale in comparison.

The best love affairs are those that change us without changing our essence.

That special someone becomes the compass to keep us pointed due north—and suddenly we know, no matter what life brings us—we’ll never be lost again.

Even when life shows us every reason to give up—we just can’t find that part of us who actually wants to walk away.

It’s those moments that our soul takes over and keeps us somewhere because the story just isn’t finished yet.

Sometimes the ending of a chapter can seem like the whole damn book is done—but no love story is great because things were easy.

No, the greatest love stories are those that faced turmoil—the ones where life was stacked against them, but they persevered anyway.

It’s not giving up hope even when it seems like the easiest choice.

Because love isn’t about choosing the easy way out—but making the choice to do it the hard way, even when all seems lost.

Because the truth is, there are some people we just won’t ever get over.

Sometimes we find someone so special that we don’t want to walk away—pretending that none of it happened—sometimes someone leaves an imprint on our lives, and we’ll never forget.

We know that no matter what life may bring, or who it may bring—no one will ever be able to fill that space.

It’s okay to not give up—to refuse to get over someone.

Maybe we don’t really have a choice in it at all—because there really are certain people who are meant to be in our lives.

And even when the going gets tough—we just can’t give up on them.

Because this time, I just don’t want to get over you.

While others could look at me and call me foolish—I don’t see any other way to be.

Because if I actually believe everything I feel—how could I possibly just walk away?

If I believe in the pull of the moon on the tides—then how could I ignore the signs the universe has sent?

And maybe I will be forced to move on—not by my own choice, but because sometimes things in life have a funny way of not working out.

But, at least I will know that I stayed true—not only to the words inside of my head, but the feelings inside of my heart.

That is what not giving up is about.

It’s not so much about the other person—but instead the journey of learning to trust ourselves.

Our own intuition.

Our own heart.

And if we then can honor those—then we can honor the other person and their journey.

When I think about why I don’t want to get over you—it’s not because of things you’ve done for me or physical acts I can measure—but because of how you make me feel.

And I have lived long enough to know—there are people who only come around once in a lifetime.

Sometimes I’ve resented being the one who is the constant—the cool and steady hand.

I also know that is the way it is meant to be.

Because you needed to see that I wouldn’t give up on you—no matter how far you pushed me away.

But because I needed to be tested to see just how much I want this—and how ready I actually am.

It’s been a tangled journey of a thousand secrets, too many promises—and not enough action.

I have to admit that I tried to move on—I tried to fill your place with others.

I met new men, I flirted, I talked with them—and I even let another touch my body.

But the problem was, even when I was with them—I was still thinking of you.

Even when we had seemingly gone our separate ways—I still saw you in my dreams.

And so when we came back into each other’s lives—I wasn’t really surprised.

Because what I’ve come to believe is that when it’s real—it stays.

And whether it’s a problem, or gift—that’s precisely why I don’t want to get over you.

You’ve said that you hope you taught me as much as I’ve taught you—and you have.

But maybe the biggest lesson you’ve taught me—sometimes someone can come into our lives and we will never be the same again.

Because the thing is, I don’t want to imagine my life without you.

So I sit underneath a darkened sky wishing on stars and the seeds of dandelions that maybe someday it will all make sense.

That maybe someday you will decide that you don’t want to say goodbye to me.

And at that point the only thing left to say will be hello—and with it a new start to get it right.


Relephant bonus:

Relephant read:

You Don’t Need A Man, You Need a Goddamn Warrior.


Author: Kate Rose

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: Flickr/Christian Gonzalez

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