October 22, 2015

How I Shifted my Relationship to Money in 30 Days.

Money troubles

A year ago I had just moved down to Wellington and was concerned about how I was going to manage with the higher cost of living. My rent alone was going to double, I was a self-employed single parent working part-time around my child’s early childhood education.

So when an email advertising a 50% off on The Money Shift by Slade Roberson program arrived in my inbox, it felt like the prime time to examine my unconscious beliefs around money and shift my experience. I forwarded the link to my flatmate and good friend Sarah too, suggesting that we do the program together.

A succinct 11-page PDF, The Money Shift declares boldly that it is no shelf-help—the kind of book or program you buy, skim through, and then put on your book shelf hoping that the mere act of buying it will have a magical affect on your personal development. No, it’s powerfully clear on exactly what you need to do in order to create the shift.

First, there’s the preparation for the program, which outlines the materials you will need plus a handful of tasks you need to do before Day 1 and every day while on the program, there are instructions to follow, including a journalling exercise.

Sarah and I decided to start on a Saturday, and do all of the prep tasks that evening. We wanted to devote an evening to it and turn it into an event to signal how serious we were about this process.

That day, I headed into town with my four-year-old to take him to the skatepark. After parking, and unloading him and his skateboard out of the car, I happened to look down on the pavement and find… $5.

Wow! A $5 note!

I can’t remember the last time I found money on the ground—not bills anyway. Later that night, when Sarah and I sat down to start with day 1 of the program, I  discovered that we needed a bill with a face on it.

“I you wish, you may ask your angels or spirit guides to send you a special money talisman to use—then keep your eyes open for the next bill you find lying on the ground.”

Now, I don’t work with any angels or spirit guides, but on the very day I needed a “found” piece of money… I found a piece of money.

It gave the entire evening a touch of flow and magic—that sense that we aren’t in control of our lives, we don’t know everything that’s going on, and we are looked after in ways we don’t even know.

The biggest task we had to complete that evening was to write out all our negative money beliefs, one to each index cards 100 if we could.. 100! Who has that many negative money beliefs? Well, turns out, once you get going and allow for variations on a theme, there are scores of negative money beliefs hidden in the psyche.

Negative Money Beliefs like:

  • Money changes people
  • Hold tight to what you’ve got
  • If I spend my money, I won’t have any
  • I’m blocked when it comes to money
  • Making money is not spiritual

…and other doozies like that. By the end of the exercise, Sarah and I each had a thick wad of negative money beliefs on cards. This was to form the basis of the program over the next 30 days. Each day, amongst other things, we would shuffle and choose one card from our stack. We would take that negative money belief and reframe it in the positive. For example:

“I’m blocked when it comes to money” turned into “Money easily flows through me and my life.”

Once you had the reframed belief, it became your mantra for the day. Anytime my mind flicked to concern or worry over money, the instructions were to come back to the positive money belief.

Sounds simple right?

It is, but it was also deceptively powerful. The first few days in particular I was amazed at how often I worried or stressed about money, especially when I was buying crucial items like food, petrol or paying for childcare. The fear was even bigger when I was buying non-crucial but still needed items like lunch or a cup of tea. I noticed I would have conversations in my head if I could really afford to do this… and often I would deny myself basic items.

Repeating the positive money mantra at these times helped me to shift focus and I began to see how often I was in fear about money—whether I bought the item or not. I began to realise that although money is tight, or has been tight, there is always enough to pay rent, buy enough food, put enough petrol in the car and there’s always a way to juggle things and make things work.

Over the first 10 days, I became aware of the base-line survival and scarcity fear I had been living with for decades and I began to consciously shift it.

That deep fear of running out, of not having enough, of spending too much, of lack… it began to lessen.

Instead, I began to notice the abundance around me at all times. Simple things, like the number of hair ties I would find on the ground. I got into the habit of picking them up, taking them home and washing them. There were other small things too—paper clips and bull clips. Random screws. Sometimes these items would be unexpectedly needed within the day.

And of course, money began to flow in unexpected ways. One particular Friday, I was concerned about the state of my business bank account which was seriously low. I didn’t know if I’d have enough money to pay myself the following week. And if my business account couldn’t pay me, how could I pay rent?

Every time my mind began to worry or stress, I repeated my positive money mantra for the day.

I reminded myself that right now, this day, I have enough. I reminded myself that I’m smart, resourceful and well-connected and that opportunities arise every day. I kept my eyes peeled and my ear to the ground.

Two days later, on a Sunday, I was wondering around in the sunshine at a house my flatmate was contemplating buying—the major reason she was doing the program. Like me, she’s a single woman in her late thirties and buying a house by herself was at times an overwhelming prospect. Doing The Money Shift was helping to give her the confidence to realise she could take this step.

I had a sudden urge to check my bank account and so I flicked open the bank app on my phone, wondering if maybe some money had turned up from somewhere. I was gobsmacked to see an extra $1500 in my personal account. Turns out the government unexpectedly owed me a refund.

Now, whether or not I had been doing the program, that refund would have shown up, right? I hadn’t magicked it out of no-where. But, because of it, my state of mind had been relaxed and open and I had experienced way less fear and stress than I usually would’ve during this process. I was able to take that $1500 and put it into my business, buying myself another three weeks of salary.

This was the big gift of shifting my experience with money. On a material level, there wasn’t a massive shift to wealth. Yet on the non-physical realism—the realm of the psyche and more—I changed.

I stopped stressing out or being fearful about my bank balance or my ability to pay for things. I realised that I am resourceful, smart, talented, connected and I live in an abundant world. I realised that money is mostly a flow: it comes, it goes.

I realised that making smart decisions helps enormously, as does not being attached to particular outcomes.

The smartest decision I’ve made as a single parent is to live with other people. It means I’m living in a nicer house, rather than a small, down-trodden apartment, which is all I could afford if I lived alone. It means my bills are shared, and food costs less too. There are other bonuses to living with a good friend too – shared cooking and housework, plus a someone to look after and someone who looks after me. I have support with my son, and we both have someone else to interact with.

There’s other ways in which I am financially literate which helped me live on a low income. I understand the power of compounding interest and avoid all debt, plus keep a slush fund solely for emergencies. I have no problem buying all my furniture, clothes and even shoes from second hand shops and TradeMe.

Doing The Money Shift helped me to see while I was living in perpetual fear of not having enough, I was making smart decisions and doing all the right things.

I realised that the biggest thing affecting my experience was my state of mind—and thanks to the program, that has now shifted.

In the end, Sarah and I did our Money Shift not for 30 days, but for 40. We both felt that length of time was better—it gives more time for the processing to sink in and for our unconscious beliefs to shift.

On those last 10 days, as we sat at our kitchen table, shuffling our index cards to see what our negative money belief would be for the day, we’d often burst out laughing.

The beliefs, which had had so much power over us just 30 days ago, now seemed ridiculous. We’d giggle away at the craziness of the belief—“who would ever think that!”—reframe them in a heartbeat and own that reframing immediately. It was proof to us, just there, over how far we’d come.

Is it possible to shift your relationship to money in just one month? Hell yes. Of course it is—if you do the work. You won’t necessarily come out of it with more money in the back, but you might. You will come out of it with a new understanding of flow, abundance and your own resourcefulness.

Now, one year on, I am financially in a better place than I was last year. But even more importantly, I live with a daily sense of ease and trust around my finances. And that is a huge blessing.


Author: Kara-Leah Grant

Editor: Katarina Tavčar

Photo: Ken Teegardin/Flickr, Jasmin Loomis/Pixoto.


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