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Making love is an intimate, sensual and sacred act. When we turn sex tantric we can experience explosive and mind blowing sensations that last for hours or even days afterwards.
Tantra is the combination of the mind, body, soul and spirit coming together as one and during lovemaking we can connect with our partner to form an intimate sexual union.
It’s believed that practicing Tantra can totally transform relationships helping to reignite passion and revitalise, reenergise, heighten and intensify love. It can also assist to create deep levels of bonding within new, and even in older, relationships where two people may have drifted apart.
The foundation of Tantra is that it brings into play the subtle layers of our body known as the Pranic body. By controlling the flow of Prana (energy) through our body we can bring life force energy into our systems by using simple breathing techniques.
When we incorporate Pranayama (breathing exercises) into our practice we can harmonise our chakras and awaken the Kundalini (spiritual energy) that is latent within us.
Instead of the energy that is created during sex being dispersed outside the body and leaving us, we retain the energy so it flows throughout our mind, body and soul and then overflows into all aspects of our lives.
The tantric practice is one whereby both partners should remain fully conscious so that they are aware of their thoughts and actions at all times. Tantra is slow and sensual and time should be set aside to absorb in it, so that it does not feel rushed.
One of the main differences between sex and tantric sex is that the focus on achieving an orgasm is removed. It is essential that both people remain fully present throughout. We should try not to allow the mind to wander to the past or project to the future. This way our sensations will be heightened as we capture the intensity of each moment.
First it is important to prepare a calm, peaceful and comfortable space with the room at a comfortable temperature and free from any distractions. Ensure there is plenty of pillows around for support, softly lit with candles or dim lights and gentle music playing in the background.
The first stage of connecting with one another is through synchronised breathing.
Sit opposite, facing one another, and looking into the eyes. Focus only on deep, slow breathing. Inhale and exhale in time with one another focusing on energising the breath until a rhythmic pattern is reached. When we breathe in tune with our partner we relax further and begin to connect on a spiritual level and this intensifies the connection.
When we are fully relaxed we can begin by both placing one hand on our partners heart. We can then open up to softly and lovingly speak about our truths, our feelings and dreams and share our intimate thoughts and desires as we acknowledge the divine in one another.
Then moving the hands to approximately an inch away from either side of our partner’s spine we should then slowly massage and stroke from the base (sacroiliac) to the top of the spine.
We should be silent while we gaze into one another’s eyes as the noise in our heads begins to quiet, slow and then disperse. If the mind wanders gently bring it back to the present moment.
Often people notice their partners face alter and change shape as they witness one another move through the stages of this practice. Opening up to the rush of energy that rises in the body along with the constant flow of emotions ensures the experience is a deeply transformative one.
Quite often two people feel at their most telepathic at this stage when they are gazing third eye (middle of the forehead) to third eye.
After approximately 10-15 minutes of deep breathing, one partner should move closer so they can wrap their legs around their partner’s body to a straddle position for a more intimate embrace. The seated partner should either remain cross-legged or with legs comfortably outstretched.
The seated partner should place their right hand on their partner’s back between the shoulder blades and their left hand on their partner’s buttocks. The straddling partner should place their left hand on their partner’s back between the shoulder blades and their right hand on their partner’s buttocks.
With faces much closer together gently touch lips with one another without any movement and as one deeply inhales the other exhales to allow the breath to flow from person to person. This sequence should be repeated until the lips eventually meet to immerse in a very slow sensual kiss.
Kissing is a sensual way to awaken energy and to arouse and ignite passion. Moving from soft butterfly kisses to more intimate kissing using tongues, we can lower and increase the tempo to gain maximum pleasure.
As we kiss one another we can slowly gyrate while moving the hands over the body caressing, stroking and massaging and moving in union as one. We may slip in and out of awareness during these stages and many people report feeling an outer body experiences as all the senses are heightened causing intense vibrations. The two bodies may feel as though they are merging into one.
When touching one another we should see it as an experiment to discover what works and what doesn’t both for our selves and our partners. There is no right or wrong way to touch, so start off slow and gentle and alternate movements while watching how the changes cause a reaction in the other person.
As we intimately caress one another we will likely feel pulsating in different parts of our own bodies and notice them as we touch our partner too. These areas are where energy is flowing freely. There will also be areas where the energy is blocked and if we are consciously aware of the sensations happening within our bodies we will feel these parts as a dull ache. We will notice these within ourselves and also feel them as we touch our partner.
To dissolve and remove the blocked energy we should slowly massage in slightly firm circular motions, breathing deeply while visualising light around the area. As we exhale we can let go of the negative energy and breathe it out.
There are many highly sensitive zones all over our bodies and everyone likes to be explored differently. When we pay attention and visualise the energy rising up through our chakras we can allow the energy to flow through and outside of us so that it reaches, interacts and circulates with the energy of our partner. As our energy dances together, we will feel a higher intensity of pleasure and as we touch each other we will notice how the energy increases further.
Masculine energy is felt strongest in the male’s lingam (genitals) and feminine energy is mostly strongly felt in the chest area as the heart chakra opens up.
We may then feel the temptation to move to full penetration. Some people like to resist the temptation and instead continue with stroking and kissing one another, continuously reaching an almost orgasmic state and then simmering things down. By breathing deeply and slowing things down it is possible to hold off reaching an orgasm and return to the embrace when the feeling has passed.
If we choose to move to penetration the focus should remain on keeping the connection and energy flowing, while remaining in tune with our partner’s body and also their mind and emotions. I will be writing about Tantra positions in the follow up article.
It is possible to continue for hours in a deep and blissful orgasmic state and also to experience the waves of energy circulating the body and mind long after the bodies have touched. Just lying close to one another and remaining connected is enough to keep the energy looping between both bodies and minds.
There is no right or wrong with a Tantra practice. We can reach and experience multiple orgasms or not orgasm at all, the focus is on the connection that is taking place, not on a desired outcome.
One aspect of Tantra is that we not only create a deeply sensual and pleasurable experience for our partners, but that we also create this for ourselves. Often during the act of sex we forget about our own pleasure and only concentrate on our partner’s or even vice versa.
It is also essential to remember that within Tantra egos must be left outside the room. We must lose all self-judgement, thoughts and worries about how we look or any concerns that our technique is right or wrong. Our senses and intuition lead us in this practice as our awareness of our own, and our partner’s, emotional and sexual needs are finely tuned in.
Tantra should be a sacred experience that feels completely natural taking place between two people who respect one another fully, both with the intention of creating a memorable, pleasurable and intimate experience. It is also a practice that is about progression, not about perfection.
Our own mental and sexual energy should connect and mix with our partner’s energy for an intoxicating mind blowing experience as well as sexual and emotional fulfilment that can revolutionize our love lives and beyond.
Tantra isn’t just a body or sexual experience. It is a practice that has the potential to enhance every aspect of our every daily lives as we evolve individually and also transform and strengthen our relationships.
Author: Alex Myles
Editor: Travis May
Photo: Flickr/Gabriel Delgado