Friends with benefits, or “relationship lite” can be the ultimate arrangement when we are not looking for a serious relationship.
We get all the pleasures of sex and snuggling without any of the nagging, laundry and airport pick ups. But, anytime we decide to become a “we” and not just a “ you and me” things can get sticky (and not in a sexy way).
Here are a two tips to successfully navigate the world of “relationship lite:”
When considering a friends with benefits relationship we should make sure communication is clear and everyone is on the same page. So, when those “accidental” adult beverage inspired f.w.b. moments happen, get clear quickly! What is each person looking and hoping for? If we are emotionally, not just intellectually, honest with ourselves, everyone will benefit.
Everyone loves a little sexual pleasure but if we’re not clear with each other, we risk losing a friendship and hurt feelings on either side.
If the relationship is long term (most of these types of relationships last a few months to a year), it’s important to check in with feelings. Remember the psychological term, positive reinforcement? The addition of a reward following a behavior?
Friends with benefits + orgasm = a cocktail of oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin that makes for a powerful emotional and physical hook. The chemical high alone can cause our feelings to change. We should make sure to check in with our partners.
Most friends with benefits don’t wind up married or committed to one another, but that’s not to say they can’t.
The good news is, unless the communication was poor or an unrequited love scenario developed, then the odds are in our favor to go back to being just friends. So if you, need to end this type of relationship do so respectfully and kindly.
Remember, feelings and hormones alike can make this scenario messy but we should do our best to keep this kind of relationship “lite” when it’s time to call it quits.
Have fun, laugh often and enjoy the commitment-free pleasures of having a friend with benefits when it works for everyone involved!
Author: Heather Dawn
Editor: Khara-Jade Warren
Image: zenjazzygeek/ Flickr