My dear children: I know that the world may try to tell you otherwise, but I want you to know that you haven’t come from a broken home—because there isn’t anything damaged about my love for you.
Perhaps we are nontraditional, and possibly sometimes, it feels as if we are wayward, but there is nothing about our family that is broken.
I never intended to be a single parent. And though I had hopes of the fairytale happily-ever-after, I soon realized that I was just not meant to live in a perfect castle, high on a hill, while those below thought my life was something more “perfect” than it really was.
My dear children: I see now that this was the journey that we were all meant to walk.
I would never have wanted you to grow up thinking that love was a responsibility, instead of a gift. Because while I didn’t get it right the first time—you just might.
Perhaps if I can show you that sometimes love isn’t easy—and that the first step is always to learn who we are and how we love—then maybe you will know more than I did and make choices that are founded in greater awareness and courage.
I didn’t know how little I knew about life and myself when I began my journey of divorce, but time did a beautiful job of teaching me.
I know that sometimes it’s hard just having one parent at home because Momma can only do so much at once. There is only one lap to sit on and one pair of arms to hold you close. There is only one adult to fix things, cook and plan entertaining endeavors. Sometimes I drop the ball because I’ve learned that I just can’t do it all.
It’s just me—and while I know I am enough, just as I am doing the best I can, I know that you still want more.
When you tell me that you want a boy to live with us, as I am driving on the highway, you don’t see the tear slide down my cheek because I honestly want it just as much as you do. I can’t provide that as easily as I can other things—I can’t magically snap my fingers and make it happen.
But I do have faith that when it’s meant to be—and at the right time—I will find us a good man.
For now, all I can do is love you my deepest love, not to make up for the fact that there is only one parent to kiss you and tuck you in at night, but because you are worth this type of love.
To say that you are from a broken home implies that you would have been happier and healthy if I had stayed in a marriage that I’d outgrown.
The reality of two adults who aren’t truly in love with one another is not as good as being single and modeling how to exquisitely love myself.
I know that what I say doesn’t mean a damn thing if I am not willing to do the hard work to back it up with action.
What good would I have been to you if I had preached to you about finding love, loving yourself, following your heart and all of the magic that is worthwhile in this life if I wasn’t willing to follow my own advice?
The truth is, my loves, we need make mistakes to learn lessons.
If I hadn’t followed my heart and decided that I wanted my life to be the greatest example for how to live, then I also wouldn’t be the mother that you truly needed me to be.
How differently would you have grown up if I taught you to ignore your heart?
If I instead taught you the value in keeping your mouth closed just to keep the peace?
You wouldn’t be the type of women who will one day change this world.
My goal from the start has been to raise amazing young women. I never intended to keep watch over you, teaching you your ABCs while you learn how to best blend into society so that one day you might get a mortgage, and an IRA and find yourself settled down but empty.
You’ll grow up to be young women with soul.
Women who have vision and ambition who know they will have to work through blood and sweat to get the life they want and deserve, because nothing is ever given in this life for free.
Women who follow their hearts no matter where it leads and who possess the courage to help others to do the same.
You will be game-changers and status quo destroyers.
I first had to become this type of woman to raise you.
So, no my darlings you are not from a broken home.
You are from a home full of love and soul that will teach you how to navigate life and have one helluva time while doing it.
Author: Kate Rose
Image: Author’s own
Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock