August 20, 2016

Seven Practices for Highly Indecisive People.


I’ve struggled with indecision for most of my life.

My friends who know me well know that there’s nothing I hate more than having to make a decision, whether it’s choosing which restaurant to eat at or what to order off the menu or what city to move to (my current dilemma).

My astrologer told me it’s because I’m a Libra (the sign of the scales), and because we Libras are so balanced, we see every option equally. We see the pros and the cons of every decision. We see what’s to love about moving to Asheville and what’s to love about moving to Spain.

In fact, if you look up the traits of Libras, indecisive is the first “weakness” you see:

Strengths: Cooperative, diplomatic, gracious, fair-minded, social
Weaknesses: Indecisive, avoids confrontations, will carry a grudge, self-pity

My indecision is a part of me, and I try to embrace it as much as I can every day—to welcome the things I don’t know, to rejoice in my freedom and the infinite possibilities I get to choose from. I’ve learned that when I feel overwhelmed with a decision, there are ways that I can go within, get quiet, and find the peace I need that will lead me to clarity.

1. Take a walk in nature.

I’ve found that the practice of walking becomes meditative if we simultaneously work to quiet the mind. You can even state an intention or ask a question as you walk, as long as you release it right away. To try this, as you begin to walk, state your intention or ask your question. Then let it go. Release it into the world. Quiet your mind. Listen, breath. Observe the world around you. Let the answer come to you without searching for it. It will surprise you when you least expect it.

2. Go outside and look at the night sky.

Anytime we lose our sense of clarity or peace, we can get it back almost instantly the moment we step outside and connect with the night sky: the stars, the planets and the galaxies. The universe represents the infinite possibilities. It represents freedom; it represents the limitless nature of our reality. Somehow, when we are staring up into the open expanse of space, we remember what really matters most to us and the decisions we’re struggling to make seem a little bit smaller than they were before.

3. Ask for guidance before you fall asleep at night.

I recently started a practice of asking the universe to deliver what I need to receive in my sleep. Sometimes I ask for clarity. Sometimes I ask for the answer to a specific question. Sometimes I ask for comfort. Whatever I feel the greatest need for at that time in my life is what I ask for. You can also ask in general for anything you need to know or learn to come through in your dreams. It doesn’t matter if you remember what you dreamt when you wake up, because the point is to receive what you need on a subconscious level, which will then inevitably affect your conscious waking life.

4. Journal.

The writing process can show us what we’re thinking. It can show us what we’re feeling. It can show us what we already know on a subconscious level that hasn’t become conscious yet. That’s the power of writing. It brings the abstract into a clearer form. It doesn’t matter where you write or what you write about or for how long you write. There are zero rules when it comes to writing, except to go with your gut. Trust your intuition. Write whatever you feel to write. Bring all of your confusion, anxiety, angst, and uncertainty to the page and release it into your writing. You’ll be amazed at where it leads you.

5. Unleash your creativity.

When we create in any way—painting, drawing, singing, dancing, playing music, cooking—we are giving form to the unformed. We are channeling our feelings of confusion and uncertainty into our creativity to produce something wonderful. Something real. Something substantive. Something we can actually make sense of. We can sit around thinking about what confuses us, and come away with nothing except for more thoughts. Or we can channel our confusion into creativity, and come away with something beautiful that sheds light on the situation in front of us.

6. Reconnect with the present moment.

Connecting to the present moment brings us out of our thinking minds and into our feeling hearts, so that we can use our intuition to sense what we really want. There are lots of ways to reconnect with the present moment. Run through a sprinkler. Jump around in your living room. Jump out of an airplane. Close your eyes and count to 25. Scream at the top of your lungs. Whistle your favorite song. Take off your shoes and run around the block barefoot. Whatever connects you to the present moment is worth doing in some capacity right now, and it will bring you closer to clarity.

7. Get physically active.

Movement helps to quiet the thinking mind and put us in touch with the raw, physical, intuitive, sensory side of ourselves—the physical feeling part of ourselves. That’s the part of ourselves we want to tap into when we are seeking clarity, because our feelings always tell the truth. The thinking mind can play tricks on us, but the way we feel is always honest. Any type of physical activity like biking, running, yoga, playing Frisbee, taking a walk, flying a kite, brings us out of our heads and into our hearts.

I hope this list helps you. Be gentle on yourself. Take your time. I’d love to hear your ways to peace and clarity in the comments below.


Author: Hope Koppelman 

Image: Lucy Maude Ellis/Flickr

Editor: Sara Kärpänen

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