September 13, 2016

How to Cut the “Emotionally Damaged” Label & Rise like a Phoenix.

Flickr/Eden, Janine and Jim:


The truth is this: I’ve been there and I’m aware of how arduous it is to win the inner emotional battle.

We’ve all gone through a particular hurt in the past that transformed us from stable people to damaged ones. The calamities we sometimes face steal away our self-esteem and worth. Trusting others becomes a difficult task and allowing someone in feels unfathomable.

And some of us are still dealing with the traumas that have caused us to classify ourselves as emotionally damaged people.

To be emotionally damaged is to find no escape from the emotional turmoil that permeates our life. We build an immense wall around ourselves in hopes of protecting our wound from going deeper. The wall is too high and the wound is too big that we’re simply not able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know how it feels to be emotionally damaged, beyond repair.

I know the feeling of being stuck in a painful story that doesn’t seem to end—at times, I helplessly looked for the author so I could beg him to stop writing.

I’m very much acquainted with the suffering of the heart. I know quite well the feeling of piercing someone’s life only to leave empty-handed.

I’m also familiar with the taste of mud, for I fell into it extremely deep.

I know how it feels to fall, but I also know how it feels to rise. The rising is uncomfortable, but it’s possible. To be willing to rise is to believe that we are stronger than any pain, any trauma, any difficulty.

Like a phoenix, I now acknowledge the beauty of obtaining a new life by rising from the ashes where my annihilation took place. I took off the dress of melancholy and burned it with the ashes. The sun has showered me with its rays and the moon has greeted me with its light.

For the first time, I beheld life and saw who I truly am.

With a hammer I destroyed the wall I had built around my wretched soul and closed the wound with a needle and thread. The scar is still there and I have kept it there on purpose to I remind myself I am strong enough to overcome my emotional destruction.

For the emotionally damaged: you will be repaired. You will rise like I did and soar freely into the air.

Sometimes we are too broken, too damaged that we become blinded by our misery. We hopelessly believe our calamities won’t ever come to an end.

We think it’s our destiny to live with a hurtful present and a dismal past.

We think we are worthless, weak, unworthy of love.

We think we are nothing.

But I’m not.

You’re not.

We’re everything. And we are not even damaged—we’re only preparing for our rebirth. We will rise only when we’ve had enough of sitting for too long on the ground.

Prepare for your rebirth. Know that whoever turned you to ashes, is in the ashes himself. Whoever broke you, is broken himself and whoever damaged you, was already damaged.

People with heavy baggage opt to drag other people into carrying it with them. You’ve carried that baggage, it was heavier than you and it’s okay. It made you fall, but it’s alright.

The truth is, sometimes we need a heavy strike to finish us so we learn how to begin again, because darling, nothing tastes better than beginnings.

To start again, we need to let go of the miserable image we have of ourselves. To let go, we need to forgive.

Forgive whoever caused you to look at the mirror and despise yourself.

Forgive whoever made you lose faith in love and humanity. Forgive them for they’re victims of their own emotions and miseries.

Mostly, forgive yourself. If I hadn’t forgiven myself, I wouldn’t have rose again.

Forgive yourself and soar.

Our stories are different, but our pain is the same. Whatever happened to me, whatever happened to you, doesn’t define us. Use your pain as a stepping stone to reclaim yourself and your life.

Reclaim your dreams and goals. Take them back and cover them with your hands, like clouds covering the moon at night.

Reclaim your strength. You never lost it—it was only sleeping. Wake it up and wear it like you would wear your favorite outfit.

Let no one damage your capacity to love. You are love itself and you were born to give it.

Know that no one can make us feel weak without our consent. No one can damage us without our consent. You and I have seen the consequences of allowing others to break us. With little effort from their side and an immense surrender from ours, they have the ability to abolish us.

Surrender not. Know your worth, for your worth is wider than the skies and greater than the seven seas.

Allow no one to diminish who you are. Build your edifice high enough that others would need the tallest ladder to reach your heights.

For the emotionally damaged: you are already repaired.

Rise and never mind who follows. It is time to put yourself first.

So, put on these wings and soar. Your healing is a process, therefore be patient, be willing, be determined.

I’ll meet you in the skies of freedom.


Author: Elyane Youssef

Image: Eden, Janine and Jim/Flickr

Editor: Nicole Cameron

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