I received an invitation that read, “This is a sacred, loving and accepting circle of sisterhood. Come as you are.”
The words that followed, though, felt like they should have been qualified with a giant but inserted before the rest of the content.
“You must wear white, be here early, be silent until I begin the circle, leave only when the circle has ended and follow all these rules listed accordingly, due to the respect of this sacred space.”
As a woman who craves the connection and bonds within sisterhood, I am torn between what feels like a sacred circle, and what feels like exclusivity, expectation, and rigid structure.
This seems to leave little room for our intuition to illuminate and come forth from within.
Life has taught me that conformity can be a confidence killer and soul crusher. That beliefs are just ideas and words we repeat over and over to ourselves. We are products of the environments we were raised in and our life experiences.
And expectations are intimidating, and at times, alienate those who seek connection.
I was the little girl who liked to play with frogs. I was forced relentlessly into a flowery dress, made to sit still for two hours staring in agony at the clock on the wall during church. Each minute that went by, I listened in confusion to one man enjoy the satisfaction of hearing his own voice project outwards.
My Sagittarius mind pulls me away from anything that tells me what to do (a positive and negative trait depending on the situation).
The fire inside me rages when I feel constricted or constrained.
When someone tells me, “This is the way it should be done.”
I want to scowl my eyebrows, snarl my face and flip up my middle finger (childish and unnecessary depending on the situation).
I respect rules as I respect boundaries, but I can not conform to opinion based words. I just can’t.
I feel that the beautiful view I see of this world through my eyes, is a different perspective than the person standing next to me. All subjects are subjective when non-factual based views are involved.
And that’s all I’ve got to say about that (in my best Forest Gump voice).
So, this is why I am torn between two worlds.
I am a facilitator of women’s sacred circles and I have decided to always follow my intuition. I do not hold a script. I do not follow guidelines and I do not speak on things I know nothing about. I let my intuition guide me within the circle and I allow myself to flow.
I don’t follow a rule book decided by someone’s opinion. Honestly, this makes my childhood religious experience surface and I have to work through it every time.
But this is what life is, isn’t it?
One opinion and perspective after another, given by those who either are speaking from their heart-space, or speaking from their ego.
You can always tell when someone flows with their words from the heart, or stumbles carelessly through their speech from the head—trying to touch on all the points they think you want to hear.
So what is the point I am trying to make here?
Follow your intuition.
There is a deep-seeded amount of knowledge hidden within us waiting to surface. I believe we are re-learning the information we already know from previous lives and individuals around us that help spark that knowledge alive again.
So, here it comes…my opinion.
This is coming directly from my heart-space and life experiences. I ask that you take what applies and speaks to you and leave behind what you do not feel is right.
I ask that you remain open-minded and receiving. And If you feel agitated by anything I am saying, simply ask yourself why this strikes a nerve.
7 things women should stop giving a damn about in sacred circles:
1. You are not what you wear: Our clothes can be used as a reflection of our unique personalities. It can make us feel beautiful, comfortable, safe or like a creative individual. But what is worn in a gathering of women does not reflect what is going on within. It does not reflect the love you have to share and the connections we all deserve. If anyone makes you feel “lesser than” because of the fabric on your body, simply say f*ck off and walk away.
2. Ego cannot be the driver: If you enter a sacred circle of women and the facilitator screams of ego, consistently wants to speak loudly on the platform they have created, and the energy feels off, that is because it probably is.
Listen to your intuition.
You do not need to endure any situation that feels uncomfortable.
3. Expectations are not the same as boundaries: Arriving on time can be essential in circles. Some people are notoriously late and may arrive 30 minutes after the circle opens: this is not okay. But, if you are ever told that it would be disrespectful to remove yourself if you needed to leave due to the intensity, an emergency or you just weren’t feeling the vibes: this is not okay.
We all have a choice and an inner guidance system that tells us when enough is enough. If you are in a circle that you feel chastised or looked upon negatively for needing to remove yourself, understand there is no tolerance or understanding in this rule—this is not holding a container of love.
4. You showed up, that is enough: Do not ever let a circle that proclaims to be a loving, sacred circle of women, make you feel as though you ever need to say a word or share anything. You aligned with this circle and showed up for expansion, and love should always greet you. Your silence should be appreciated and respected.
5. It’s not against the rules to say, “f*ck”: I am someone who cusses, excessively at times. I will not apologize for using words that some do not use. Yes, words are powerful but so is intention. I use these words with zero negative intention directed toward others. In a circle of women, you should always be able to bring all of you to the surface. If you have to dial down your fire for anyone, I’d say: “F*ck this, I’m out.”
6. Spirituality is not the main ingredient—you do not have to be spiritual to desire feminine connection. This is a lie if anyone ever makes you feel as though you must believe in Spirit Guides, aliens, crystal grids, angels or past lives to join hands in a loving circle. We all have our own beautiful path that is all our own. Connection does not require specific beliefs. We are all one, period.
7. Sacred circles should never be an exclusive club—remember those middle school years. Remember the little cliques or groups formed by our insecure, ego driven brains. We just wanted to matter and fit in.
We aren’t in middle school or high school anymore. Who you were then, is not who you are now.
Women’s Sacred Circles are not girl gangs gathering in an exlusive circle. They are not meant to feel as a two hour you reprieve from the gossip that begins immediately after the circle dissolves. The woman who shows up in cat hair, wearing all black and sits in silence should be accepted no differently than the polished, fairy-like woman adorned in flowers.
Women need women in this life. Our medicine can help heal hearts.
Rules and regulations can, at times, form judgements and cause separation.
We have to decide whether we are going to let go of our insecurities and need to be seen, so we can love one another harder and stronger.
Let’s all dare to be seen as the imperfect, beautiful Goddesses that we are.
Author: Britt Johnson
Images: Author’s Own
Editor: Travis May