Many of us sit back waiting to see if our significant other will take the garbage out, remember our birthdays, or—in the dating/mating game—can live up to our escalating expectations.
So let’s make sure that they do.
Let’s make sure that they know what we like, want, dream about and desire.
Give them the key to your heart.
Recently a new friend visited. We had a great time. But then she left.
But before she left I told her just what to do (only if she wanted to) to make me swoon, whistle a happy tune and have me fondly remember her company.
“Remember letters?” I asked.
“Yes,” she responded.
“You know, an envelope with a stamp on it and an address and a note inside.”
“Well, nobody sends those anymore. But you could. You could send me one saying that you had a good time and include a thank you or brief description of how, looking back on your visit, it was special.”
I wasn’t trying to control her, manipulate her or anything like that. I was handing her the key to my heart. And in a week or two, me and the dog might walk out to the mailbox and find a letter. I likely won’t remember it was my idea that she send it. In fact, what does that matter anyway?
The letter is what counts. Just receiving it reminds me that she cares. Reading it brings tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. She is gone but hasn’t forgotten me.
The letter is a sweet gesture—like planting a tomato seed, that grows sweet, juicy and delicious fruit.
Plant a lot of seeds by letting those around you know how to woo you, and finding out how to touch them deeply too.
Sometimes it backfires.
A friend of mine has a cute, energetic daughter. I sent her 50 brand new two dollar bills for her birthday, just because I wanted to. But then I made a mistake.
She acknowledged my thoughtful present with a one word e-mail: “thanks.” I tried to celebrate the thanks, but couldn’t. Silly, rude and selfish me wanted more.
So, after several days, I sent her an e-mail. In the e-mail I explained how she might win my heart and more presents in the future by actually sending me a thank you that took her more than two seconds to write.
Yes, I knew I was being an ass, a righteous ass, and I couldn’t help myself.
I got what I deserved: a long email that dressed me down for being arrogant, suggesting that I had no business telling her what to do…
It was the email I deserved, but didn’t want. I was on a roll, so wrote back with an apology. But that was where our communication stopped—and now, eight months later, we haven’t been in touch.
So please, if you are going to tell someone how to court you, or thrill you, or touch your heart be careful, sweet, and open in doing so. And make sure that the person you reach out to is actually someone you wish to connect deeply with. Don’t pontificate, telling them what they should have done for you. But hang yourself out there offering your open hearted self to them freely.
You can let someone know how to win your heart in bed too. Imagine that you are curled up with someone special, and you simply need to be touched somewhere in particular.
“I’d really like you to stroke my upper back now,” or, “Please touch my junk.”
While the bedroom may be an awkward place for such banter, you can also do it without words.
I don’t know a fellow who wouldn’t swoon at a woman, of her own accord, offering a genital caress, a sweet nipple to kiss good morning or a gentle tug on an ear lobe. Surprising him, by leading the way, unfastening a bra strap, reaching a tongue into his mouth first or simply purring are likely to move a man into positive conniptions.
Women often need something different to win their heart. They may appreciate a guy who moves slowly, and lovingly at their pace. In the slow walk to orgasm she may discover a willingness she never does in his usual 50-yard dash to the finish line.
Sometimes just a little gesture is enough to warm someones heart, or secure a new friendship.
I was headed to the airport. My trip took me by the bike shop where, several days earlier, Jim had rebuilt gears on one of my bikes while I waited. We got to know each other as we talked and I watched him work.
The bike he was working on was a folding one that fits in a suitcase for air travel.
Several days later, on my way to the airport, I swung into the bike shop parking lot, bounced into the store and invited him to come see the bike all packed up.
That short visit and thanking him again resulted in him smiling and laughing. It also made it obvious how much I appreciated him.
Sharing the key to your heart with someone works, as does asking for the key to theirs. It’s always a good time to tell them how to touch you, move you, reach the recesses of your heart or erogenous zones.
Open up—this isn’t poker where you have to bluff all the time.
This is life, love and connection where we can help each other by communicating just what we like to make us feel appreciated and desired. It’s easy, and it doesn’t take long. It provides an ongoing experience of a life truly well lived, with great love, fine friends, no enemies and a halo of obviously happy people all around.
Author: Jerry Stocking
Image: Weeds still
Editor: Travis May