Working on ourselves is crucial for a happy life.
I live by the saying, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” However, working solely on ourselves is sometimes not enough to enjoy a harmonious existence. Sometimes we need to work on our surroundings as well.
Every one of us has some sort of “vibe” we give off. This energy is highly contagious and easily transmitted. This is why we feel good around certain people and uncomfortable around others. And when we are around someone who gives off negative energy, it can affect our wellbeing.
It took me years of being around people who sucked the happy energy out of me to realize that my comfort comes first. I understand that nobody is perfect, and expecting people to fit the image we have of them isn’t realistic. Nonetheless, in most situations, I have the power to choose who contributes to my happiness.
I have dealt with plenty of difficult people in my life—those who brag, lie, cheat and feel entitled. And if there was something I could do to help these people on their journey, I didn’t hesitate to be of benefit. But sadly, some people are just too difficult, and no matter how much we try to help them see life in a more positive light, our efforts prove pointless.
When that happens, the only option we have left is to create some distance.
In my experience, these are the people who are most difficult to be around, the ones we should separate from—for our own peace of mind:
The narcissist may be the most damaging person we can ever meet. I stayed in a relationship with one for almost two years and suffered the consequences. It’s difficult to deal with a narcissist because they are manipulative; they have the ability to convince us that we are wrong and they are the victim.
They are the people who keep on taking, but rarely give unless they want something in return. They become the entire focus, making it difficult to have healthy relationships with those around them.
Having a narcissist in our life can leave us weary and drained because we keep questioning our own abilities and sanity. With time, our self-confidence suffers. Although cutting them off can seem arduous, it’s best for us to stay away and not buy into all they have to say.
These are the people who turn everything in their life into a challenge. Someone I was once close to lived and breathed drama on a daily basis, something that appeared to be inherent in his personality. He somehow always managed to look at the world through dark-colored glasses, refusing to take them off.
They’re inclined to be highly-emotional, frustrated and constantly anxious. Their behavior can often come off as attention-seeking. Even when they’ve had a good day, they always find the “terrible” in it—drama becomes the pattern in their life.
Spending too much time with people like this can change the color of our own glasses. While I don’t think this particular person meant to affect me this way, I remember feeling increasingly negative in his presence.
The pessimist digs for negativity in everything they experience. They aren’t dramatic, they just have zero hope when it comes to themselves, other people, or life in general. Their constant worry eventually turns them into unhappy people who are always waiting for the next calamity to occur.
There are still some pessimists in my life, and honestly, trying to change their perspective on life is strenuous. Just like the dramatic ones, their hopeless energy tends to negatively affect us.
If we can help these people change for the better, then good. But if we can’t and it starts to impact our own ability to find joy, the best solution may be to stay away. There’s nothing wrong with focusing on ourselves and protecting the flow of energy around us.
Author: Elyane Youssef
Image: studio tdes/Flickr
Editor: Nicole Cameron