January 25, 2017

Why I’m Replacing “Jealous” with this Word.


As I sat at home with my two kids, looking and feeling like a hot mess, I scrolled through my social media accounts on my phone and all I could think was, “I’m bothered.”

I don’t like feeling this way and I wanted to understand why I did. Deep down, I knew the answer, but sometimes being honest with ourselves is hard. And what was hard for me was admitting to myself that I was jealous.

I scroll through my phone and I am jealous.

I am jealous of your freedom.
I am jealous of your travels.
I am jealous of your career.
I am jealous of your artwork. 
I am jealous of your handstands.
I am jealous of your clean eating.
I am jealous of your fit and skinny body.
I am jealous of your successful Pinterest project.
And most of all, I am jealous that I am missing out.

The word jealous has such a negative connotation and something about it just wasn’t sitting right with me.

Are we truly jealous?

Do we really wish others would stop achieving?

Do we really not want others to go out because we can’t?

Are we ready to take away someone else’s happiness because we are unhappy?

I hope the answer is no.

Driving home with a friend after a yoga festival, she told me that she liked people watching because it gave her a chance to admire everyone around her. Then it hit me—that was the word I was searching for.

Admiration is the word that rings deep and true for me.

Judith Hanson Lasater, the author of Living Your Yoga, writes, “The world is as it is, how you feel about it is up to you.”

When we choose to admire others for their beauty, we are better able to shift our perspective and our language.

I admire your sense of freedom.
I admire your wanderlust.
I admire your creativity.
I admire your physical strength.
I admire your dedication to clean eating.
I admire that you take care of yourself.
I admire the patience it took to complete that project.
I admire that you enjoy the company of others, even while I choose to stay in.

Choose to see the beauty around you, because what you see is just the tip of the iceberg. We don’t know other people’s stories or internal struggles just by looking at a picture or post.

How we see the world is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If we don’t want to see ourselves as jealous people, we need to shift our perspective. Once we can truly admire others, we can then start admiring our own abilities.

And maybe someone just needs one positive word to be the fuel that helps them chase their dreams. We need to encourage, uplift and support each other instead of bringing each other down.

Together, we can empower each other to be our best selves.

And those who don’t want to join us? Well, haters gonna hate.

So be proud, and post away.


Author: Kaycelyn Rosales-Knight

Image: Tareck Raffoul/Facebook

Editor: Nicole Cameron

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