March 14, 2017

To all the Single Girls: This is Why you’re Going to Bed Alone Tonight.

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“Being single doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re strong enough to wait for what you deserve.” ~ Unknown 


You are incapable of settling. 

Instead of wearing that fact like a cross you have to bear, you should be celebrating it as the Medal of Honor that it is.

You, my beautiful queen, have decided to not settle for just any old love in an attempt to bandage your loneliness and satisfy that longing inside of you.

You have decided to hold out for your forever.

You’re holding out for a love that rocks you to your soul and sets your heart free. I know that it seems like it won’t ever happen, and that perhaps you are destined to remain single forever—but you have to learn the difference between never and just not right now.

There is a reason for everything and a season for love.

You are preparing right now—you’re being given the opportunity and the challenge to get in touch with yourself. I applaud you, because you are not shying away from that. Instead of having just a warm body next to you this evening—someone who might only be able to touch your skin—you are waiting for the one who can touch your soul.

My dear, you’re waiting for what you know you deserve.

I know that this is the most difficult thing that any of us can do, because to wait for what we deserve is an act of faith—a decision to believe in our hearts. Have faith that our hearts will guide us to the love we need. Loneliness is a weight that sometimes seems impossible to remove, thus it’s so much easier to doubt and talk ourselves into settling.

But there is no fear in faith—nor is there in love.

It doesn’t matter if you tucked yourself in tonight with tears streaming down your face, or if you think maybe you made a mistake. If you’re second-guessing yourself for not calling him back, or for not asking him to come home with you, none of that matters, for there is a reason your heart didn’t let you.

The heart, it seems, knows more than the brain. However, the heart is not usually rational, so we spend time fighting with it, hoping to have it somehow make sense (yet it never does).

You are going to bed alone this evening, but it’s not something to feel ashamed of. Instead, feel proud—you are holding out for the real thing.

You have learned so many lessons in love. You’ve been stepped on, used, cheated on, and made to wonder if you really know anything at all—yet still you’ve persevered. You’ve continued on your journey, even when you couldn’t see where it was leading you.

The thing is, my queen, you are meant for love.

Not the love that will ask you to change who you are, or to settle for just mediocre—you are meant for the love of your life, the one that will forever mark a before and after in your story.

It’s easy to get down on your sweet self, to think that the only thing you have keeping you warm tonight is your loyal cat, or beautiful child. However, you have to remember, above all else that life isn’t supposed to work out the way that we want it to—it’s meant to happen the way it’s supposed to.

Yes, you may be alone this evening—but you also never know when that will change.

Embrace this moment for what it is, a beautiful stepping stone on your journey. A moment of peace and quiet where you can appreciate everything that you have instead of focusing on those things you don’t. Deep down, you know that where you are right now is not an accident—it happened by destiny, not by chance.

Even if at one time you thought you had everything figured out, it doesn’t matter because it wasn’t the path that you were meant to be walking—it wasn’t where you were supposed to be. And so, you had to let go of that storyline. Maybe you had to let go years ago, or perhaps it was only yesterday. Regardless, you let go of what you knew wasn’t what your heart needed so that you could make room for what it does.

And so, you’re here now, in this beautiful place of uncertainty where anything is possible.

Yes, you may be going to bed alone tonight. You may not have the love of your life wrapped around you like an anchor holding you tight. What you do have is yourself, and until you realize that is enough—no one else will be able to make you feel like enough either.

We are all told we have to fall into unconditional love with ourselves first before we can do that with another, and while it seems like an abstract thought, the reality is that until we do, we will only be looking to have those needs fulfilled by another.

What you’re doing right now is giving yourself time to learn to love you, so that you one day will be able to draw a map for the man that is worthy enough to learn all of your secrets. You are in this magnificent stage of solitude because it is preparing you for all that is to come.

And trust me when I say—he’s on his way.

He is out there, and this evening he’s going to bed alone as well. He is laying down, looking up at the darkened ceiling and wondering if he will ever find a woman who appreciates him for the man that he truly is and encourages him to wander through all of life’s seasons—even though he doesn’t yet know you.

My dear, he’s dreaming of you.

This man is sleeping under down comforters, feeling your soft curves against his strong side. He can already see your smile in his eyes. He is simply following his heart to get to you.

And that is why it’s just a matter of time until you will no longer go to bed alone. You, my sweet woman, will soon be going to bed with love instead.


Author: Kate Rose

Image: Global Panorama/Flickr; melalibingin/Instagram

Editor: Caitlin Oriel

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