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June 27, 2017

Is Your Soulmate Connection for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

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During our lives, we will meet more than one type of soulmate.

Soulmates are mirrors that reflect back to us our deepest insecurities and flaws, while also showing us our true beauty, uniqueness, and strength.

They show us where our unhealed wounds lie. They trigger us to become more consciously aware of how we are expressing ourselves and how vulnerable we are to the possibility of loving more wholly, more deeply, and without expectations.

Soulmates awaken one another by bringing difficulties, obstacles, and challenges to the dynamic that cannot be ignored, or by showing affection and tenderness in ways we haven’t previously experienced.

Some soulmates push us to feel emotional extremes, while others feel like the comfort of “home” as we effortlessly vibe on the same wavelength as them.

Some of these relationships aren’t long-term at all, while others effortlessly and blissfully endure the test of time.

Regardless of whether it is a stranger we have only known for a few moments, a friendship, or a lover, we feel soulmate connections intensely. But when we understand why soulmates serendipitously show up in our lives, we begin to discover the significance these relationships hold and the bearing that even the short-lived ones will have upon our souls—and the relationships we have yet to encounter.

However they show up, they arrive so we can work our way through learning more about forgiveness and compassion. They provide us with the opportunity to find new ways to love more intimately, despite the temptation at times to turn and run.

Our soulmates are typically either for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

Each of these has a distinctive “before-and-after” feeling to them. We know without a doubt that something within us changed the moment we met or left them.

A Reason

Some soulmates enter our lives for a particular reason—a specific purpose.

This might be to teach us how to value and love ourselves more or to teach us how to value and love others more. It might be to help us work through a persistent issue that we can’t seem to resolve alone, or to guide us emotionally, mentally, or spiritually as we work through personal blockages.

They might even arrive to introduce us to a new interest, passion, or hobby that we wouldn’t normally have considered, but that soon becomes one of our most beloved pastimes. They may bring with them a new career opportunity or encourage us to relocate and make a new place our home.

Sometimes, we click with someone instantly, and although we might only briefly share a conversation with them, this chance meeting plays a significant part in altering our lives. Or we may meet someone on an evening out, share only one date, and never hear from that person again—yet the essence of that enchanting encounter lingers on and awakens a hunger for life, a newfound passion, and sensual desire within us.

Other times, we may embark upon a relationship with a “reason” soulmate—but before we know it, we are filled with fear, terrified at the possibility of loving someone at levels we are unfamiliar with. When we are not used to being loved thoroughly, we may get scared that we will fall too hard and then lose it all.

This fear causes many of us to not consider certain relationships or to end them before they have begun, as we subconsciously (and wrongly) believe that we are unworthy of the other person and their affections.

Regardless of who is tempted to run in this case, we should understand that a relationship with this person, no matter how brief, can be a catalyst for us to become more open, compassionate, and understanding while we also make peace with the fact that not everyone that comes our way is meant to stay. This person is here, at least in part, to show us through their coming and leaving that there is no need to panic for fear that we have lost our only soulmate opportunity.

But this lesson isn’t always easy. It can feel particularly painful when the person who chooses to sharply exit is someone with whom we share many similarities, or someone who we can imagine being happy with for a long period of time.

Although it is hard to release our attachment to the thoughts about a romantic future, it’s important that we appreciate the moments we shared and concentrate on what is happening in our lives currently rather than sorrowfully focusing on the future or the past.

If we are the ones running from love, it is likely that we will receive the same painful lessons over and again until we eventually admit that we are afraid and may have closed ourselves off at the heart-center. It can be hard to accept that we are the emotionally unavailable ones, particularly if we desperately want a loving relationship.

It is much easier to blame the other person for the failing of a relationship. But if we look closer, we might notice that we were the ones pushing our soulmate away from not being at peace and allowing the relationship to naturally ebb and flow. This is an important lesson we can learn from the “reason” soulmate.

A Season

Certain soulmate relationships last only for a season and end before they have really had a chance to blossom. This is partly to teach us how to let go and to love without attachment and also to prepare us for who we are yet to collide with in our future.

However, we will only fully treasure these relationships and freely let them go when we recognize that certain soulmates are simply soul teachers that cross our paths for a specific purpose and we will depart company once the lesson has been learned.

When a relationship ends before it has fully developed and we haven’t had a chance to get to know the other person properly, we can be left feeling as though we have been cheated out of a soulmate relationship. In reality though, it is simply that we are not destined to spend our entire lives with that particular person, even if we loved them deeply and are struggling to find closure.

One of the most crucial lessons we are shown when a “season” soulmate relationship ends is to practice trust. This doesn’t mean we need to work on trusting other people, although this will also be of benefit. Instead, the meaning here is to have faith that everything happens for a divine reason, and that it likely won’t be until we have looked back that we see how all the dots eventually connect.

It is important to remember that even when a soulmate connection feels like it is a match made in heaven, but only lasts short-term, there is a valid reason the meeting was only temporary. For reasons, often unknown at the time of departure, these relationships are not ones that would last for the long haul. It is far better to cherish them for what they were and then loosen our grip and set the memory free.

Almost all relationships feel magical in the beginning as chemicals such as dopamine flood our brain, so when they end abruptly, we feel instantly deprived of the high we had just grown accustomed to.

It’s a different feeling than what arises when some of our longer relationships end, as in those cases, we have usually received the opportunity to clearly see why we were no longer compatible and that is why the relationship came to an end. However, when a relationship only lasts a season, we are often left in shock and turmoil.

The good news is, time is a great healer, and the more gratitude we feel for our experiences, the less pain and trauma we will carry forward with us and the quicker we will heal.

A Lifetime

The soulmate connections that last for a lifetime are often the ones that take us by surprise and arrive when we weren’t actually looking for a relationship.

They usually feel “right” from the start, and there is a sense of inner knowing between the two so strong that even if they separate romantically, they will likely remain friends and always play an important role in one another’s life.

Lifetime soulmate connections are built on solid foundations: respect, commitment, genuineness, a sense of safety, healthy dynamics, and love. But most importantly, there is a deep sense of loyalty within them.

Both partners have one another’s backs, especially when times are tense and turbulent. They hold space for one another and have empathy and compassion, which allows for deep healing to occur as well as for each person to stretch themselves to reach for their highest potential.

Within these types of soulmate connections, both partners are committed to resolving conflicts in a supportive way that enhances the relationship and helps them grow into the people they are destined to become.

Both communicate with respect and put equal energy into maintaining a harmonious bond that can steady the relationship through life’s ups and downs.

Unfortunately, many people cling to the soulmate relationships that are only meant to be for a reason or a season. This usually leads to turmoil, heartache, and, in many cases, separation or divorce.

When we refuse to let go of someone that we are no longer in alignment with, we not only suffer by dragging something out that wasn’t fated to last, but we also miss the opportunity to connect with other soulmates—particularly our lifetime one.

When we understand the meaning of each type of soulmate connection, we appreciate each of them for what they are without trying to mold them into something that suits the idealistic dream we have conjured up.

These soul connections and the lessons learned through them have a profound impact on all our lives, regardless of whether they are for a reason, season, or lifetime. Each type influences the paths we choose to take—and if we understand the differences and significance of each one, this will likely be a positive influence.

The importance of soul connections is not measured by how long they last, but by how much each person heals, grows, and ultimately learns about love.

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Author: Alex Myles
Image: @gypsieraleigh/Instagram
Editor: Callie Rushton
Copy Editor: Taia Butler
Social Editor: Catherine Monkman

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