*Editor’s Note: Elephant is not your doctor or hospital. Our lawyers would say “this web site is not designed to, and should not be construed to provide medical advice, professional diagnosis, opinion or treatment to you or any other individual, and is not intended as a substitute for medical or professional care and treatment. Always consult a health professional before trying out new home therapies or changing your diet.” But we can’t afford lawyers, and you knew all that. ~ Ed.
“Come on,” I said to the scale, “you can’t be serious—203 pounds?”
“Do you want me to tell you what you really weigh, or what you wish you weighed?” said the scale.
“Stick with the truth please,” I replied grudgingly.
I was having my typical morning argument with my scale, and, as usual, it wasn’t budging. I stepped off it, then back on. Every time: 203. I sat on the edge of my bed and glared at it.
“Don’t shoot the messenger.” I remembered that phrase, smiled at the scale and said, “Thanks.”
So began another in a series of mornings in which my weight seemed both relevant and wrong.
Many of us belabor our weight, giving ourselves a hard time and making meal time much less fun than it might be. Worse, we glare at other people who seem to magically look thin no matter what they eat and hate them. And we may even look at people heavier than us and feel a bit superior.
Luckily, if you have a weight concern, problem, or complaint, there is a simple solution.
Back in the early 1960s, an Italian doctor got curious about obesity and how it might be cured. He tried all sorts of different diets and finally found the diet. He even wrote a book about it.
The diet is very specific.
Phase one: For 24 hours, eat. Overeat. Gobble down everything in your path, gorge on every greasy thing you can find. Have three big macs, a dozen donuts, french fries, and ice cream. Eat way past the point that you’re comfortable. Pig out!
It would seem that this would be the most fun part of the diet. It isn’t. On phase one, many people realize that eating a lot is really uncomfortable. This discovery is a vital step to disassembling the lies we tell ourselves about the food we want and the food we eat.
Phase two: Eat no more than 500 calories a day of very specific foods. We get 200 grams of protein a day, two veggies, two fruits, unlimited tea, coffee, water, and sunshine. This 500-calorie part goes on for 21 to 40 days.
Through much of phase two we are likely to feel on top of the world. Not only are we free from wondering what we will eat, but we are also redesigning our metabolism while watching pounds and ounces melt away. Somewhere in the midst of stage two, our skin changes, it becomes softer and smoother.
During phase one and two, either inject or take sublingually (a fancy word for “under the tongue”) human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG). HCG is a hormone from the placenta. It isn’t legal in the United States for weight loss. And you can’t purchase it here without a prescription—unless you have an internet connection. Then you can buy it from India for about 19 dollars, enough to complete one whole regimen of the diet.
Phase three: We will likely enter phase three down at least 15 pounds, maybe even more. During phase three, avoid sugar, carbs, and starches. There is no caloric limit. But the idea is to eat until we aren’t hungry anymore. It’s tempting, entering phase three, to overeat a bit, without the 500 calorie limitation. But a little self-reflection invites a new relationship with our scale, food, all the clothes in your closet, and our trim new bodies.
Phase four: Reintroduction of other foods. Both phase three and four are three weeks long. Phase four is the threshold of our new lives at a new weight.
Smiling at the scale
Art Theme, a folk singer who was short, fat, and very funny said, “I am not fat, I just didn’t get my full height. If I was as tall as a pine tree I would be very thin.”
If you find yourself imaging that life would be different without excess weight, HCG just might be for you. Many people imagine that they can’t lose weight, or can’t keep it off. HCG reminds us that we can. I’ve seen tens of people succeed on HCG after years of diet yo-yoing.
One friend, a retired emergency room doctor, loved HCG and remains, eight years later, more than thirty pounds lighter than before he began his HCG odyssey.
Searching the web for “HCG diet” will quickly reveal both success stories and that the medical community as a whole considers HCG to be a hoax.
People who are walking around lighter from their HCG experiences—I am one of them—don’t think it is a hoax. And if you have been fighting the battle of the bulge for too long, you might want to try it too.
But please, if you do the diet, enjoy it, listen to your body, and be responsible for your own health and well being.
Author: Jerry Stocking
Editor: Emily Bartran
Copy Editor: Khara-Jade Warren
Social Editor: Yoli Ramazzina