July 15, 2017

How to Survive the Runner & Chaser Phase of the Twin Flame Connection.


No matter how hard we try, we can’t outrun what is truly meant for us.

What is known as the twin flame relationship is, for many of us, occurring more and more frequently as our planet experiences a painful awakening and shift from old paradigms of relationships into a more open and honest kind of love.

The twin flame connection is said to be the reunion of two “souls” that were split from a single source of energy, who then travel through many lifetimes until they are ready to reconnect.

One of the most interesting yet often overlooked aspects of a twin flame relationship is the phase of the runner and chaser.

During this phase, one soul will abandon the other, seemingly without notice or reason. The relationship seems to be over for good—and it very well may be. Letting go is also an important part of the path of love.

The reality is twins can come back together—in kindness and mutual respect—and begin to progress through the stages together.

When the “runner” soul takes off, it is often done out of feeling overwhelmed, not worthy, or confused by his or her connection—a connection that feels markedly different than anything they’ve ever experienced. They may not be leaving the relationship for good. They may simply need the time and space to process their feelings.

Yet, the twin that is left behind may feel abandoned.

When this runner and chaser phase begins, it’s an ego trip for the chaser. So when the runner leaves, they can be relentless in their pursuit. The chasing isn’t done out of the best interest of both souls, but rather because the chaser has their own issues surrounding abandonment, loneliness, and worthiness. What’s interesting is that resolving these issues is the purpose of this phase.

At the beginning of this runner-chaser phase, neither twin is able to process these emotions—instead, the runner hurts the chaser by wanting to move on, while the chaser blames the runner for their pain and projects his or her wounding onto their twin.

Luckily, this difficult process is the purpose of this phase in the twin flame connection.

The number one thing we all can do here is simply to let the twin soul run, if that is what he or she needs to do. We can let go of chasing, pleading, or even rationalizing why they should come back. In order to let go, we need to stop projecting our hurt and blame onto our twin.

Here’s a key point: the chaser twin has to learn to separate his or her desires from that of their ego. Our ego wants what it wants now, and when that doesn’t happen it blames the runner.

And so the runner and chaser phase can be healed within the chaser—not just the runner.

Once this twin can listen to their own emotions and process how they are feeling, they begin to heal their wounds or conditioning. This catharsis is when many twin flames come back together—and why some of us (rightly or wrongly) let go of this type of love.

Once the chaser soul stops pursuing the runner, and learns to let go of the ego’s desired outcome, the runner soul may begin to feel the peace necessary to work on the original issues that caused them to leave in the first place.

This doesn’t mean that the twins can’t communicate, be friends, or even see one another during this phase—but it does mean that it has to be done without any sort of expectations, including ever coming together again.

The thing with our twin is that, one way or another, we learn from them—as long as we approach it in the Buddhist style of non-attachment, because only in this way may we let our love enlighten us.

After the chaser twin has stopped chasing, they can still reaffirm their unconditional love, presence and even support to the runner in a newly non-threatening manner.

Yet, even within that, space needs to be given.

The thing that many of us forget—twin flames included—is that what is meant for us truly won’t ever miss us, so there is never a need to rush anything, or push it—everything happens in the way that it is meant to.

If twins can learn to lean into the spaces that this phase creates, instead of fearing the challenges that come up, then we may find that it is in these times of separation that the greatest amount of personal growth occurs.

Because the biggest thing to remember during all of this is that things will unfold the way they are meant to.




Author: Kate Rose
Image: Unsplash
Editor: Waylon Lewis
Copy Editor: Catherine Monkman

Social Editor: Cat Monkman

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RJ Lg Sep 19, 2018 1:57pm

well written ..thx

Drone Margrethe Jul 15, 2018 3:22pm

be carefull if you met a narcissist it can feel like meeting your twinflame...so amazing and believe me they dissaper out of the blue...replacing you with another "so called soulmate". Love is not upuse and should never be comfused with speritual romance of soulmates...sorry have to say this...Im a person who has practised "The course of miracles" and I was so overbearing with this man who I thought was my soulmate...he said so too. A narcissist mimic all of your believes and way of living and youre thinking ohhh my we are so alike. The narcissist does that to all of his or hers "big Love". I waited for four years and just stayed put every time he went of with a nother woman. Every time he told me he loved me but I scared him. Undtil the forth time we got back together...and looked in his phone...by that time I was completely broken down and confused (I thought we both where) and found outthat he was and had always been seing 2-3-4 other woman hoovering them as he did e. And when I confronted him I saw a person I never have seen before. Exploding. A few months later he tried what he always tries to get back together...talking calling it healing our connection...what he didnt now was that I still had access to his messenger and email and I found out that he was talking to a woman (who was buying him a ticket to Brazin...while he was begging me to see him...again). First time ever I didnt give in. and now she is pregnant...I could read how he told her the same stories like he told me...ven some of my visions (from Ayahuasca) just that it wasnt me but her now. Be carefull making excuses for people with personality disorders whos not cable of making real connection...there is a lot of that going on in the spiritual world...sorry but I really think so. Hope my imput is okay. <3 i

Danielle LaMarsh Jun 19, 2018 12:04am

This relates so closely to my life that it's absolutely terrifying.. I am the chaser.

Cindy Rongione May 18, 2018 12:50pm

Lovely and well written. Thank you.

Shanna Later Jan 5, 2018 12:12am

As always, I find your articles that not only resonate with me but that include the exact things I need to hear in order to find the strength and wisdom to continue on. Kate you're my favorite!

Teresa Allen Dec 7, 2017 7:49am

Going through exactly this at the moment, will be rereading this regularly to keep me going, thank you xx

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Kate Rose

Kate Rose is an artist, free thinker, lover, writer, passionate yogi, teacher, mother, rule breaker, and rebel. She can usually be found walking barefoot in the moonlight between worlds with the dreams of stars still hanging in her hair, swaying her hips to the music of life and smelling of sweet bourbon and honeysuckle. She lives for adventure and wakes each morning with the excitement of a new day waiting to unfold at her feet. She truly believes the best is yet to come and waits, with bated breath, to see what it may hold. Follow her on TwitterFacebook or Instagram, and find more of her words on her website.