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August 8, 2017

Finding Hidden Gifts & Your Dharma when Transiting Venus Conjuncts your Natal Chiron.

Whether Astrology is science or magic, we’re open to most things, if they may be of benefit. ~ Ed.

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A few days ago, I had an exact conjunction between Venus in the sky and my natal Chiron.

An astrology transit chart shows where the planets are currently in the sky in relation to our natal chart. The natal chart is a snapshot of the celestial sky at the moment of your birth and is like a blueprint of your personality.

Some astrologers liken the natal chart to one’s brain, the connections between the planets representing the connections between neurons. I love this view of the natal chart, and it makes a lot of sense if you believe we live in a holographic universe where what is outside of us is also inside of us.

In any case, transiting Venus was lining up with the asteroid Chiron in my transit chart. Venus represents relationships (the way we relate to others and our environment) and all the lovely aspects of life, such as beauty, art, love, and money. Chiron symbolizes the part of the psyche that has been deeply wounded: our demons.

For me, it started with a wayward paycheck. I sent a third email to the person who was supposedly in charge of payroll to ask when I could pick up my now three-week late check. There were a few other minor work issues I was trying to sort out, and I spent the morning trying to track down money I was owed or pinpoint things that didn’t seem “pinnable” at that moment. My rising emotions took on a life of their own, and I got swept away. (Note: the moon was going to be full in two days, when emotions tend to swell.)

The issues I was facing this particular morning were of money/getting paid for my work and also of receiving support I needed to complete tasks. On a deeper level, this was about supporting myself in the world and feeling valued for the work I am doing—for what I am giving.

Chiron wounds have deep, deep roots. The spot in the natal chart where Chiron dwells points to the wounds that we have trouble even looking at; we bury them well. It’s the place where we feel inadequate and cut off from ourselves, and we may attempt to compensate in some way by either proving ourselves again and again (an endless cycle), or giving from an empty place (the giving is, therefore, not genuine/pure), or withdrawing and taking ourselves out of the game altogether because it feels safer than the rejection that may come if this wound was revealed or activated.

In my natal chart, Chiron is on the cusp of two signs: Aries and Taurus. Aries is the baby of the zodiac, both innocent and courageous, and represents the physical self and our ability to take action in the world. Taurus, the next sign in the zodiac, stands for the self with all of its worldly possessions and is connected to income (how we earn our money), business, self-sufficiency, and self-esteem (i.e., money/income and self-esteem are closely linked).

With Chiron coloring these two signs in my chart, issues of self-worth, confidence, and valuing myself run deep. Somewhere along the way I learned not to value my own needs, and that to do so was somehow inappropriate. It’s no surprise then that I have often faced circumstances of not being paid enough (or at all in some cases!) for my work.

And so my emotions were running high on this particular morning. I decided to do a yoga practice. Note: if you have Chiron in Aries or Taurus, yoga and other types of therapeutic bodywork are excellent for you. I use online classes when I can’t get to the yoga studio and in the mood to be guided. I have a few favorite teachers on a site I use, and as I searched for a class to take, a new one taught by one of “my teachers” popped up. It was, amazingly, a yoga class on Artha, the Sanskrit word for having the wealth or resources to fulfill your dharma or life purpose, i.e., using your innate gifts for service in the world. I felt like the teacher was speaking directly to me.

I have to pause here to say, how cool is that? The universe was supporting me.

Recognizing this inherent support is the first step in healing/integrating my Taurus/Aries Chiron wounds. It’s no coincidence that when I teach yoga, I often hear myself asking students to accept support, to feel the support of the earth underneath them, and so on. We teach the lessons we are learning ourselves.

When Venus and Chiron get together in the natal or transit chart (note: I had this by transit but some people have this aspect in their natal chart), ancient wounds connected to relationships can resurface and fester, and there is also a chance to clean them out. I love the idea of the wound actually being the gift, which is why I resonate with the Rumi quote: “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” The wound remains a wound, I believe, because we cover it up and emotionally cut off that area of life or ourselves.

You can look to the sign and house Chiron is in to learn more about your “wounds” and how you can learn to reintegrate them. If you’re not familiar with your natal chart, you can run it online on astro.com (go to Extended Chart Selection and click on Chiron under “Additional Objects”). 

If you recall, my Chiron is on the cusp of Taurus and Aries. To add another layer or piece of the puzzle (note: in Astrology, there are many layers), Chiron dwells in my 5th house. The natal chart is represented visually by a wheel and is divided into 12 spokes or Houses, with each House connected to one of the 12 Signs. For instance, the 1st house is Aries’ house, the 2nd is Taurus’, and so on. Therefore, the 5th house is Leo’s domain.

With Chiron in my 5th house, I have felt stifled creatively, on guard, and unable to just “be myself.” The 5th house, Leo’s home, represents the way we express ourselves creatively and playfully and our desire to be seen in the world—to shine. With Chiron here, I have struggled with a deep-seated fear of being seen and have tended to hide my light. 

I teach yoga, and it has taken a long time (and I continue to work on it) to free up my creative energy (5th house) and voice (Taurus) so that I can be “myself” when I teach. When I connect to my own creative flow, students can connect to theirs. I notice that if I am too “in my head” when teaching or when doing anything in life, I don’t give others the space they need to be in their own “flow.” The wounds we carry can indicate the way we are apt to inadvertently suppress or wound others. For instance, a mother with a 5th house Chiron would need to be aware of allowing her child plenty of space and freedom to play (play is a child’s form of creativity).

We can only do our true work and service in the world when we face these wounded pieces of ourselves because it’s difficult to give when operating from a place of lack. Once you “own your Chiron,” you have a new found, unshakeable power that comes from those dark experiences. The beauty is that you can then use this power, this strength, to support others who have similar wounds. This is why Chiron is called the Wounded Healer.

On the vision board in my bedroom, which I created at the beginning of the year, it reads: “I am enough.” Although I think the phrase is a little clichê, as I spontaneously cut the words out of a magazine, I knew it was an integral component of my “vision” for this year, without fully understanding why. Now I know.

“I am enough” is a good mantra for a Chiron/Venus aspect. With this aspect, there can be a feeling of giving a lot and not receiving in return what you need to survive and feel safe in the world. The feeling of support needs to first come from within, and you can do this by simply taking better care of yourself (not always as easy as it sounds, I know).

I have a daily Ayurveda self-care regimen. I wrote an article about this on my blog. Taking the time to provide yourself with care and nourishment is self-love. The key is to love yourself enough to feel that you are worth this effort (something I am learning). As I cultivate self-love, I believe I will draw situations and dynamics into my life that feel supportive and enable me to do my dharma (my work in the world or purpose in life).

I am learning that my dharma is using and sharing my hidden gifts of creative self-expression and being playful/joyful in order to support others in uncovering and connecting to their own creative gifts. One way this has manifested for me is through teaching yoga to children, which brings out my playful, child-like self: they teach me as I teach them. Chiron is both the Wounded Healer and the Teacher and is often a big piece of the puzzle when it comes to our deeper purpose in life.

What is your dharma? What are you here to share? If you don’t know, begin with a Chiron investigation.

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Author: Nicole Alexander
Image: Unsplash/Greg Rakozy
Editor: Travis May
Copy Editor: Catherine Monkman
Social Editor: Khara-Jade Warren

Nicole Alexander

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