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December 28, 2017

A Cord-Cutting Ritual: How to Let Go of Harmful Relationships.

Editor’s note: Elephant Journal articles represent the personal opinion, view or experience of the authors. As an independent media outlet, we cannot verify the validity of any claims made on this website.

Throughout the year we meet new people—we enter into a variety of new dynamics, and we strengthen and deepen some of our relationships while others deteriorate, and forge bonds with a whole host of different people—often without even realising it.

As we reach the end of the year, we often find ourselves looking back and wanting to make positive changes to the new year. We may find ourselves wanting to detox from anything or anyone that we find destructive, that holds us back, that causes us pain, or that isn’t serving us.

Not everyone we connect with is healthy for us to be around. Often we don’t realise just how harmful or dysfunctional a relationship is until we have emotionally invested in the relationship. This can make it difficult to walk away from people with whom we have feelings for, but know we shouldn’t remain around. Our mind rationally tells us one thing, whereas our heart and emotions tell us something entirely different—which can hold us magnetically bound.

Whenever we bond with someone, attachment cords (energetic ties) are created, which travel from our heart chakra to the other person’s heart chakra, or from solar plexus to solar plexus, as this is the chakra directly related to our emotions.

Scientific research has found that our thoughts, attitudes, and emotions emit a powerful energetic field that other people can sense, therefore it connects us energetically to those around us.

When cords have been formed we have direct access to another person’s emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical state, as well as their intentions and capabilities, which also enable a transfer of energy.

Energetic cords can carry information that offers a detailed insight. This enables us to read someone else’s energy clearly, and they also allow us to send and receive emotions. Cords enable us to energetically communicate and are often the reason we feel like we just know information about the other person without any words or actions.

However, cords can also drain and deplete us if we are radiating too much energy through them, or if the other person is aware that a cord is in place and their impulse is to draw on the energy we are radiating purely for their own benefit (also known as energy vampires). This can happen when we have entered a relationship with someone, believing they have good intentions, when they have no desire to establish anything meaningful, and they may even manipulate us in the hope of gaining something.

Deciding that we want to move on from previous experiences is not always enough. Sometimes we need to consciously and energetically disconnect emotions and feelings, and really feel we are ready to make a clean break.

If we want to let go of an attachment to someone, we can choose to sever the energetic ties that bond us.

We may choose this if we find ourselves obsessively thinking about an ex-partner, feeling remnants of pain due to old memories, feeling resentment or bitterness due to past grievances, feeling tied in or drawn toward someone as though they have a hold over us, or simply if we find it difficult to move on and we want to start over.

If we do not sever the ties, we may keep getting triggered by our open emotional wounds and remain caught up in the same patterns, which can cause us to stay in, or keep getting involved with low frequency relationship. This is usually why we attract similar types of people (or the same kinds of relationships) over again, as energy cords are keeping us connected to the past.

Sometimes energetic cords are mutual and have valves going each way so that energy is relayed and received. Other times, they have a one-way valve that give out energy but there is no return flow. If we are in a relationship and we are sending out waves of energy but not receiving any emotions in return, it is likely we are involved with someone who is emotionally unavailable, and if we continue to do this without regularly recharging our energy, we will quickly become drained.

This cord cutting ritual can be used in current relationships that have painful history, especially if there are triggers causing arguments over the same thing continuously. We may want to cut a cord from someone so that we can detangle ourselves from negative interactions and emotions, but we do not want this person to physically leave our lives. If this is the case, we can make the decision to remove the particular low frequency cords, while still remaining closely connected to that person.

We just need to set the intention to locate the cords that influence our emotions and cause us to instinctively react, while leaving any positive cords intact. Our relationship will not suffer when we cut these cords, as only the negative aspects of the relationship will be eliminated. This will result in the dynamics changing so that less negative interactions occur, and the positive aspects of the relationship will remain the same or be enhanced.

Before cutting cords, it is essential that our mind is rational, calm, and clear, to prevent negatively influencing the process and also so we can radiate loving, compassionate, and healing vibrations.

Meditating beforehand will ensure our mind is balanced and we are also grounded during the process. It is also beneficial to consciously set the intention to forgive ourselves and the other person so we do not leave remnants of resentment, retaliation, anger, or bitterness behind which may allow space for new detrimental cords to attach.

If an energetic cord has developed for purposes other than a genuine heart or soul connection, the cords could be anywhere in the body, so it is advisable to scan from top to toe. There may be numerous cords, and they may be in various shapes, strengths and sizes.

To locate the cords we want to sever we can use the following technique, along with our intuitive senses to guide us, as the majority of suppressed emotions connected to the cord are deep within our unconscious mind.

Cord cutting is done using visualisation by focusing the mind on one cord at a time. When we are lying still, with our eyes closed, fully relaxedand inhaling and exhaling deeply, we can scan our entire body and focus on the sensations we are feeling. We may begin to notice a dense, heavy feeling in certain areas that we are drawn toward and that will likely be the cord that is the most significant and powerful one.

When we have located the cord we want to cut, we then keep our attention gently focused on the cord so that we can gain insight into why it is there, and what emotion or belief of ours allowed it to form.

When we attune to the vibration of the cords and pay attention to the sensations within our physical body and energetic field, we will easily recognise the difference between healthy and unhealthy connections.

Healthy, high vibrational cords are connected to our energy field and are found radiating from our aura. They do not pull in energy, instead, they radiate extremely powerful energy that generates unconditional love, humility, care, kindness, compassion, and spiritual growth. Healthy cords have a light, pure, and clear vibration, and they are also known as “spiritual ties.”

Unhealthy, low, and dense vibrational cords are based on dysfunction and are created due to things such as desire, control, fear, anger, abandonment, frustration, rejection, resentment, insecurity, and material or financial benefits. These cords seem thick and heavy and their vibration is dense. They will likely feel tender, and the area around them may ache. If there has been trauma or heartbreak associated with the cord, the pain will keep repeating until we are ready to release it and let go of the memories.

If someone has connected a cord to us, they may be depleting us without us realising it, and the cord may not be at the heart or anywhere obvious, so we may have to scan the body to find the location of the attachment cord—we also need to scan to see how many cords they have connected. If we have poured a lot of emotion, time, and energy into a relationship—or if the other person has invested a lot—the bond could be particularly strong, therefore the cord will also have resilience and strength.

Once we have located the cord we want to sever we can set the intention to cut the cord and visualise severing it with scissors or any sharp instrument.

When the cord has been cut, we can pour healing, love, and light energy to the area where the cord was rooted. If we leave a wound open, it is likely a new cord will quickly attach, as we will be leaking energy and be susceptible to anyone who detects this and wants to drain our energy.

After cutting cords we may feel a little unsettled, anxious, and overly emotional. However, once we meditate and ground ourselves, these feelings should dissipate, and we will feel lighter, freer, calmer, and more balanced. If we feel the same way as we did before the process, we have not severed the cord properly and removed it from its root, so we can return and repeat the process.

When we have cut a cord, the other person may notice it energetically, so they may be drawn to contact us to see if they can put new ones in place, as they are no longer receiving an energetic feed from us.

When the cords have been successfully severed, the illusions within that relationship will fall away, rendering us free to finally see the dynamic in a clear light, without emotions infiltrating and causing an energetic painful disturbance.

Although this ritual is recommended for the end of year clearing, it can be done at any time throughout the year, particularly during the new or full moon.

 

You might find this useful too: 4 Ways to Stop Dysfunctional People from Leaving their Sh*t on our Doorsteps in 2021.

 

Relephant:

 

A Buddhist Perspective on Astrology.

 

Author: Alex Myles
Image: Alexsandra Mazur/Unsplash 
Editor: Sara Kärpänen
Copy editor: Catherine Monkman
Social editor: Waylon Lewis 

 

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