I used to look to external forces to make most of my decisions.
I relied on other people for good judgement and hard choices. I thought, “Who am I to make my own decisions?!” The concept of a beautiful human being not being able to make her own decisions seems ridiculous—but sadly, it’s a common theme in Western culture. How many of you can relate?
My soul’s inner pilot light, my strength as a woman, and my ability to trust that I have something uniquely fantastic to contribute to the world were chipped away while I was growing up. Who knows if that was due to the dominant people around me or if it was a weakness in my soul, a karmic pattern I needed to learn about to evolve—maybe both?
Regardless, in my early twenties, I was completely lost, disconnected, and fed up with always needing someone else to dictate my thoughts, decisions, feelings, and life plans. Why couldn’t I navigate life on my own and trust myself to make good decisions? Why didn’t I seem to have something called “intuition” that others said I should listen to?
Along with the self-doubt came deep self-criticism. I judged my talents, my successes, my failures, my body, my feelings, my relationships, and of course my lacking ability to navigate life and feel grounded in who I was.
But the truth is that on many levels, I didn’t know who I was—so how was I to get grounded or trust in myself? Only after many years of inquiry and a deep dive into discovering and connecting with myself on a soul level, could I begin to release the self-doubt and self-criticism. My long, gradual process of exploring and finding out who I am included yoga, meditation, therapy, energy healing, self-help content, reading and learning how others had evolved, and various spiritual practices.
The more I learn and grow, the more layers I realize there are to explore; I am, in many ways, still in the infancy of my spiritual evolution. However, after 13 years on this path, I can also say that I’m in a completely different place—that I trust and appreciate myself, that I listen and follow my intuition, and that I love myself more deeply than I ever have before.
I can also say that the more effort I put into self-connection, the harder it gets to dishonor my body, mind, or soul. When I act or think in inauthentic and self-hurtful ways, my heart and soul now scream at me to check in and realign.
Unfortunately, self-doubt, self-criticism, and negative self-talk are common patterns in our culture, and I recognize them so often when I work with clients. I am honored and happy to help others move away from their judgements and toward self-love, as I continue to navigate my own journey in this respect.
Ongoing negativity directed toward oneself isn’t healthy and serves no helpful purpose. It’s better to move away from those patterns, accept ourselves exactly as we show up in each present moment, and consciously and intentionally do our best to be the highest version of ourselves.
To do this, we have to connect to who we really are, what makes us tick, what we love, what we discern is not for us, and what gives us meaning and purpose. Then we can choose to simply be ourselves—who we are deep in our hearts and souls. To honor who we are, the ways we are unique, and what we have to offer in the world.
As we strive to drop the self-criticism, we need to continuously ask and observe how we are treating ourselves, talking to ourselves, and assessing ourselves. If we don’t, we further chip away at our confidence, our purity, and at our ability to stay true.
This poem came through me during my spiritual exploration, and it is now my ode to this practice. I hope it can serve you in the same way—or perhaps you will be inspired to write your own self-love note about your own greatness, your beauty, and your divinity.
Sending you peace, clarity, and love on your journey.
Stay True to You:
Stay true to you my love
You are all and everything you need
Radiate, shine, and burst forth
To show the world the magic you have to offer
Your eyes show truth, authenticity, and love
Your hands heal, caress, and gently guide
Your smile offers warmth, caring, and welcome
All emanating from your beautiful heart.
You continually learn how to love you better
Love all of you—body, mind, and soul
Allowing you to also love others more genuinely
Your spirit is free of so many of the ties that used to bind
Happiness, joy, faith, gratitude, and trust now there instead
You come from angels my love
And, you will return there one day
Proud, humbled, and content with how you served here on earth
Stay true to you my love
And your perfect path is inevitable
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